i *miss* it

Posted on: Sun, 08/05/2001 - 6:53pm
krasota's picture
Joined: 04/24/2000 - 09:00

There are times when all I want is toast with peanut butter. It was my favorite snack growing up and is something I ate a few times a week right up until I was diagnosed with the peanut allergy (1998 or 1999).

Giving up meat when I was 16 was easy. Sure, it was a choice *I* made, but I did crave pepperoni for awhile. After a bit, that craving passed as I realized I was just craving the spices used in it.

Giving up soy in 1998 was a hardship... Truly trial by fire. My diet consisted of daily servings of soy this and soy-that. I did it, though, because I developed a life-threatening allergy to it.

Six months later, the peanut allergy followed. I'm sure it was helped by the nightly handful of peanuts I ate after giving up soy. I didn't know that my RAST for peanuts (blood withdrawn at the same time I was tested for soy) was mildly positive. I probably could've eaten them less often--twice a week or less--and never developed the hives, throat constriction, and breathing problems that happened after eating them once or twice a day for six months.

Peanuts are so insidious. Peanut butter is such an integral part of US culture. It's is on the menu in most restaurants who have young clientele. There are roadside stands selling boiled peanuts throughout the South. Every snack bar/machine sells a small packet. It's an ubiquitous part of the soup kitchens I so desperately wanted to volunteer for. When I pass it up, I feel both betrayed and traitorous. My mother-in-law, a beautiful woman who means well, constantly forgets that I'm PA and sends me care packages of Reese's Cups. In another life, they were my favorite candy. In this one, they can kill me--a double whammy of soy and peanut. And she's a *nurse*.

If I visit my friends who have kids, I have to watch out for PB on the sofa, on the tables, on the chairs, on little hands. Soy washes off far more easily that peanut oil, so I can just ask even a three-year old to wash zir hands and not worry about reacting to soy sauce reside. The PB always seems to be there, no matter how much scrubbing mom does.

If, however, I receive one more peanut-alternative snack of raisins in the airplane with the warning "Contains traces of peanuts. Processed on same equipment," I *WILL* scream. It's not about not having a snack--I take my own. I miss those crunchy legumes and I resent the way they torture me by showing up even in the snacks I could normally have. None of my ex-lovers came to my wedding, why should my raisins contain peanuts?

I should feel lucky. I'm alive. Peanuts are so much easier to avoid than soy. And my soy allergy is far more severe. I can't use nor consume any additives made from soy: lecithin, vitamin e, vitamin e oil, HVP, etc. Peanuts are *usually* labelled more clearly.

Tonight, though... I *want* peanut butter. My husband is having a PBJ sandwich for lunch tomorrow. I'm too sick (nerve pain in the feet) and drugged (Vicodin) to make his normal lunch (reheatable dish or cold salad) today. And he didn't want turkey, though I offered to buy him some this week. So he gets to eat the PB he loves so much. He's not allowed soy anymore--I react to *him* if that happens. So far, my peanut allergy hasn't spread to *his* secretions. Normally we don't even have PB in the house, but we were scrimping for change one week and the almond butter I normally buy him was too expensive.

So it's nearly 5am. I'm awake--thanks to the jitters brought on by Vicodin--and hungry. I need comfort food, but standing up in the kitchen hurts. It would be so easy to toast some bread and spread PB on it while the bread's still warm, but I know I can't do that anymore. *sigh* I can't even make cinnamon toast because Giant didn't have any soy-free bread yesterday. When I wake up later today, I can probably ask a friend to give me a ride to the safe bakery, but that doesn't help me right now.

okies, enough self-pity for tonight.

i'm back for awhile, folks...


Posted on: Thu, 08/09/2001 - 12:30am
MaryM's picture
Joined: 12/11/2006 - 09:00

So sorry you are having a tough time.
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I had to give up PB about 4 1/2 years ago and there are times when I really miss it. As a child my favorite breakfast was toast with PB and a cup of tea. And boy do I miss those PB cookies with the hershey's kiss on top.
My fiance has PB&J once in a blue moon and knows it will never be made in our home \once we get married. He may keep a jar at the office so he can have it now and again. Just a part of life with PA I guess.
Hope you are feeling better today.

Posted on: Thu, 08/09/2001 - 1:08am
Nick's picture
Joined: 11/01/2000 - 09:00

Yeah - I miss the peanuts too!. I developed the allergy to nuts & sesame @ age 43! Doh ! At least PB and peanut products are not so prevalent here in the UK as in the Americas!
Nick (nut & sesame allergy sufferer)

Posted on: Thu, 08/09/2001 - 1:10am
Nick's picture
Joined: 11/01/2000 - 09:00

Yeah - I miss the peanuts too!. I developed the allergy to nuts & sesame @ age 43! Doh ! At least PB and peanut products are not so prevalent here in the UK as in the Americas!
Nick (nut & sesame allergy sufferer)

Posted on: Thu, 08/09/2001 - 11:26am
Claire's picture
Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

I really feel sorry for you that you are going through this. I am not allergic,but as you know my son is and there is absolutly no nut products in our home. However I have been shopping so many times and thought how good it would be to buy a pbcup and a pb twix bar. Then i just take a look at Chris and just can not believe that one little peanut could kill him. Today he said to my "boy who would think a little bee could kill someone". I said right back"who would think a peanut that size could do the same thing. Boy he was really interested in the comment i made. I guess that it is easier for him having never been able to have peanut butter his whole life rather than to eat it for 16 years and be told he could no longer have it. I hope you will feel better and what ever you do don't decide to find give into the temptation. When you need to eat just mail one of us. take care claire

Posted on: Thu, 08/09/2001 - 11:33pm
Georgia Mom's picture
Joined: 08/08/2001 - 09:00

I really miss the peanut butter and banana sandwiches. YUM!

Posted on: Thu, 08/23/2001 - 12:23pm
btbear1's picture
Joined: 08/16/2001 - 09:00

I guess I am lucky. My allergies were found so early that I never tasted peanuts, etc. Now my soy allergy on the other hand that is a hard one, unlike the original post I can have some of the soy additives but have to be careful. Soy has only sent me to the ER a couple of times but PA can kill me I usually only have about 20 minutes to get medical attention even with my epi. I wish manufacturers would wake up and realize they are slowing killing off their customers. Ever since Mars put the may contain peanuts on all the labels I have lost my two most favorite candy bars and I was already so limited to begin with. 37 years down and an eternity to go with this allergy.

Posted on: Sat, 08/25/2001 - 2:39pm
joycek's picture
Joined: 08/26/2001 - 09:00

I don't know about your mother-in-law...PEANUT BUTTER CUPS????!! Is she crazy, or numb, or does she have it out for you???
My ex used to laughingly threaten to put peanut butter on my pillow case, and I think he was only half joking [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Seriously though, you need to accept your allergies and advocate for yourself, so that anytime anyone uses peanuts et al. in anything, they think of you and how you will DIE if they inadvertantly give you something that you are allergic too. Tell EVERYONE that you are around (ie. coworkers, people at church, YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW)how serious this is. If they think you are weird, so be it. It is your life, for God's sake. They must live in a hole somewhere not to have heard about the seriousness of some food allergies and peanuts in particular.
I know its hard. Just tonite at a church supper, there was this scrumptous looking bundt cake and I couldn't eat it because I couldn't track down the person who baked it to find out what was in it.
You take care of yourself!

Posted on: Fri, 02/08/2002 - 3:51pm
Sable247's picture
Joined: 01/26/2002 - 09:00

Krasota, I feel very sorry for you. I share this allergy too. I'm almost 40 yrs and share this for 2 yrs now. I have been in ER 3 times now. The first time a half of a PB cheese cracker. The second time I should have known better. I had a Twix. The third time Grandma's Vanilla Creme Cookies. Erroneous labeling. I miss PB&J so much. It was the cheapest meal you could have. I can eat almonds, but this last year on Valentine's I found I was allergic to chocolate again. Well, that over for now. Hang in there, we all are with you. BE SAFE [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sun, 08/25/2002 - 12:42pm
fuzzyfurball's picture
Joined: 06/27/2002 - 09:00

I know how you feel too, although my "missing food" is shrimp. For me, I have been allergic to peanuts since I was 3 (I am 31 now), so I never knew what I was missing. Occasionally I want some M&M's, but I NEVER EVER have them b/c I fear for my life. My mom found a manufacturer (Hershey's I think) that made M&M's like candy but without peanuts. I got them occasionally from candy stores, but I don't eat them anymore b/c I think there is some cross contamination b/c they make a peanut version. I've accepted it, although I get frustrated too, b/c I can't try certain things I normally could have b/c just about EVERY company has to have some kind of peanut product.
I miss shrimp but I can eat other kinds of shellfish. Scallops are the closest thing to shrimp, so I just think that I am grateful that I can eat them to sub for the shrimp!
I see a lot of frustration, not just in your post, but many posts on this forum. I see why, but I think it's easier to just accept that you have limitations. Things could be worse! There are days that I get annoyed, but for the most part, it really is no big deal-I know my limits and I know how to be careful and educate people on how to help me be safe. I think you will feel better if you just learn to accept it. Be grateful that PA and I think you said soy, are the only food allergies you have (assuming you don't have any other)!

Posted on: Wed, 11/20/2002 - 1:23pm
krasota's picture
Joined: 04/24/2000 - 09:00

wow. i didn't expect to see a thread this old so close to the top. [img]/peanut/boards/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img]
i have accepted my allergies. i have several food allergies, not just PA and soy. I'm grateful that i'm not allergic to corn, which is truly ubiquitous.
that night i wrote, i was in sad shape. i was actually have an allergic reaction to the meds (vicodin), but was too drugged up to realize it. so i was itchy as hell (covered in hives), loopy, in pain, and wanting serious comfort food. [img]/peanut/boards/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img] i was seriously frustrated.
i still believe that i shouldn't totally accept my allergies. i need the anger to fight for more recognition of anaphylactic allergies. a big one for me is natural rubber latex--if i eat something prepared with latex gloves, i can die. it's not fun. and going to the emergency room in that situation is even more dangerous for people like me.
even so, things could be worse. i know that. they can always be worse. they can also often be better. [img]/peanut/boards/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img]


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