Day Care Nightmare...

Hi Kelly
What a horrible experience. It is tough when we have no choice but to use daycare, but all we can do is our best to keep our children safe. I also use a daycare, and have spent a lot of time since my daughter was diagnosed in February to educate the staff and parents. Yesterday, when I went to pick up my daughter it was snack time and she was sitting by herself. I asked her why and she said she didn't want to sit with anybody eating peanut butter. I looked at the other table and one of the boys had a Kraft peanut butter and crackers package - even though peanut products are supposed to be banned. What was worse for me, though, was that the staff had not done anything about it and it was just because my daughter is aware of her allergy that she was kept safe! Thank God that I, at least, did not have to deal with a reaction.
You can be glad that Spencer is safe and that you were there to take charge and to notice that he had eaten the cookie right away. I suppose in the end this whole experience may serve a purpose - at least all of the staff now should be aware of the seriousness of Spencer's allergy and you can hope that they will be more careful as a result.
Take care of yourself and Spencer this evening, and we all cope and manage to go on.
By the way, I want to mention that my ped has told me that in her experience hospitals are often the worst places for exposure!!!
[This message has been edited by DebO (edited June 15, 1999).]

Kelly,
I just read your post and wanted to cry. I know TOO WELL what you are going through. I wish that I could say that things will get better with time, but I have to say that they probably won't. I find that most providers (even the ones who do it at home) are just out of it. I think your child would have to just about die in front of their eyes for them to get excited. I have given my daycare center so much literature and so many talks and it does no good. He even had an accidental exposure last year when a sub came into the room right at the end of naptime and distributed peanut butter crackers to all the kids. My son ate two of them. At some point right after he ate them someone realized he shouldn't have had it. The two's teacher was the only one who freaked out, ran out of her two's room down to his classroom when she heard what happened and sprung into action. She gave him Benadryl and then they called me. I was very lucky that he had absolutely no reaction (amazing). But, she was the only one who cared. The director was also very shook up after this and went on about the peanut ban in his room, etc. Well, if you read the other thread "pity party" you will see that they have gotten over it. It is never ending. No one will ever get it. That is why I feel so hopeless. Sometimes I feel like I should have my head examined for even going to work. I think I should just stay home and go into major financial debt just so he will be safe because I cannot get any proper care for him. I wish the government would get involved in this so that these providers and schools feel more compelled to do what they are supposed to.
DebO--Again, I know how you are feeling. I know I was shocked when my husband said he was served Chex Mix while the other kids were eating peanut butter (I thought there was a ban). Why do these teachers get so lax?
Christine

Hi Kelly, I hope Spencer is feeling better. I'm glad you happened to be there today. As for the medical staff not being concerned and eating donut, I have a good one for you. I took my daughter to the ped today for something minor and I mentioned her peanut allergy again because I am looking for other children for support.I am new to this small town and she is the only ped. She has not believed me about Olivia's allergy from day one. Mind you, she never asked for a ER record. Today, she saw my daughters Medic Alert bracelet and literally said it wasn't necessary and she is more concerned Olivia will hurt herself wearing it. She told me I am going "way overboard." Well, did that tick me off. She said that since my daughter only had full face swelling and hives with her first exposure,then its not a serious allergy. Hello?!? I know she is a good doctor and doctors can't know everything, but to put me down was too much. I then told her I was amazed that a doctor would disregard a diagnosis made by 2 ER doctors and my former ped. I swear I had to put my hands in my pocket because I wanted to hit her ( I never would, but you understand).I know everyone will write to me to get a new ped but she is it guys. Little does she know, that I have set up an appt w/ Dr Wood at John Hopkins in August. After a serious reply to her comments, she backed down and realizes I am not an idiot. I am going to have Olivia tested and this way I have proof(but I am doing this so I know where I stand with her allergy- not for this doctor) I believe she knows of this allergy, but feels I just don't present enough evidence, I guess, to prove it is a true allergy to peanuts. She started backing down when I started throwing medical terms and data at her. I see her point, but she should take it a hell of alot more seriously. I have thoroughly checked her out and she is good- When I made the appt with Dr Wood, the doctor I spoke to said it is very typical of peds to behave like this and they will write a letter making her understand. I hope it works. I didn't mean to be so long or get off the topic, I'm just feeling very alone in this town . If doctors don't get it, how can we expect others? I do think this doctor realizes I will not be pushed around and will only push back. KellyH

I am so sorry that everyone is having to go through this. I think that one of the biggest misconceptions about this allergy is that when most people hear the word allergy, they associate it with the non-life threatening nasal allergies. When discussing it with everyone at my daycare I call it anyphylaxis and have given them the information on anyphylaxis. That way, the word association with the less severe type of allergies is not compounded. In addition, I have found your best friend to be the director AND the kitchen staff.
The head cook at our day care is so diligent about reading labels, as she has been educated by myself and the paramedic who gave CPR lessons there about the dangers associated with anyphylaxis. Speaking of paramedics, I find it was helpful to have them discuss anyphylaxis while the day care staff is receiving certification and recertifications. Many of these guys have seen the horror of an anyphylactic reaction first hand and can relate it to the day care staff. Maybe you could arrange for paramedics and/or your allergist to speak to the day care staff.
I feel fortunate to have found a good day care who decided to go peanut free, but find I have to stay diligent about what gets brought in on holidays. My day care sends out notes ahead of time reminding parents what are "safe" foods, but many decide to ignore the message.
Good luck and stay safe

KellyM--I know what you mean about paying alot for daycare and thinking that would help. I have run the gamut of centers and first gravitated towards the ones that were higher priced (thinking that they paid their employees better wages leading to better care). Well, the higher paid were some of the worst!! The place I am at now is the lowest charging center in my area--mostly because it is privately owned and not a chain. They also happen to have the lowest turnover rate around. My son's teacher has been there approximately 18 years and many of the other teachers have been there 13-15 years. Even the younger teachers have been there about 5-6 years. In daycare, that is quite amazing. I had my daughter in one of the expensive daycare places last year and, I swear, everytime I walked in there, there was a new person. They went through 3 directors in about 9 months. Very unsettling. I knew my son could NEVER go there (and this is the only center that provides Before and After care to our elementary school). As bad as my daycare situation can be at times, I do believe that having the same providers there all of time has probably resulted in less accidents (we have had one accidental ingestion in 4 years). Have you checked out ALL the centers or home providers in your area? By the way, you never really described the type of reaction Spencer had to the cookie. How severe was it?
KellyH-I'm not going to tell you to get a new ped!!! I do understand how you feel though. We have about 8 doctors in our ped practice and most of them have openly admitted to me that they know nothing about peanut allergy. In fact, I talked at great length with one of them and he was very impressed with my knowledge. The only praise I have for them is that they are not so pompous about it. They have admitted their shortcomings. When my son first had a reaction, I called in to the office and got the "advice nurse." She said that it was no big deal and that he would outgrow it. So, I had enough sense to avoid the peanuts and when I went in a few months later for a checkup, I told the pediatrician. He said "I think you should see an allergist." I tried to press him for more details. He told me he wasn't real familiar with it but I should have it checked out. So I guess I can't get too upset with them, but they should be more educated. If your ped is going to be "combative" would you feel comfortable just sending your child to a family practitioner? I have often thought about doing that with my own children. They are now beyond the infant/toddler stage and probably no longer require a pediatrician. I actually think a family practice doctor might be more aware of the seriousness of food allergies.
dhumpries--My son's daycare director experiences anaphalaxis with bee stings. She knows all about it but still doesn't really take is seriously. She chides her own self for not keeping an epinephrine kit for herself like she should. She doesn't even take it too seriously for herself. She is a very nice person but very laid back and not a "worrier." I think daycare center directors should be certified worriers before they can run a center. But maybe that is not good. My son's first home daycare situation was with a friend of mine who had quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom. She was well aware of Evan's allergies. Well, she was so worried about it all, she did a great job of taking care of him. She used to stress so much over it I felt bad and tried to get her to relax a bit but she couldn't. One day her 12-year old son fed Evan a honey-nut Cheerio which was on my no-no list because it had almonds in it. She freaked out. I told her not to get upset, that the Cheerios were probably fine, and that I just avoid them in general. It took her weeks to get over it. Eventually she quit doing the daycare because I think the stress of it was too much for her. She never said that, but I think that is exactly what it was.
Christine

What did the staff mean when they said not to expect the Epi's to work as well next time? That's scary!!

What did the staff mean when they said not to expect the Epi's to work as well next time? That's scary!!