total avoidance and other family members

Posted on: Wed, 12/01/2010 - 4:37am
wanttolearn's picture
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Joined: 12/01/2010 - 11:30

How do you handle total avoidance when at other people's homes? with products that are processed in plants that process peanuts. Can you realistically expect people to not bring anything processed in a plant or do you have your child avoid it. How should this be handled?

Posted on: Wed, 12/01/2010 - 9:29am
cmvervais's picture
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Joined: 03/09/2010 - 16:21

I also posted to your other comment on "living in a bubble." When I am bringing my daughter to a family event where there will be food, I always bring a separate safe dinner or snack for her. I give my family members a list of safe treats around the holidays, but still ask that they keep the packaging so I can verify ingredients. It's vital that she not eat any food that's cross-contaminated with nut, so I don't let her try anything unless I know all the ingredients/brand/preparation, etc.
I can't expect everyone to know what's safe or not safe, so I take full responsibility for feeding her. I also ask that people wash their hands after eating and before playing with her. If I know there is unsafe food, I ask that they give hugs, but no kisses. And in general, I think it's best for family members to avoid cooking with whole nuts and nut oils ... skip bringing a pecan pie when a PA kid is going to be around.

Posted on: Wed, 12/01/2010 - 10:53am
wanttolearn's picture
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Joined: 12/01/2010 - 11:30

Thank you...I think our "problems" may not resolve easily. No one would ever dare put out anything with any type of nut, cook with any type of oil. This is more of an issue with the PA beign the icing on the cake to push her over the edge I believe. I can not even imagine her stress. But at this point a package of muffin mix in my pantry unopened not intended for the meal we are eating that came from a plant that also processes peanut products is enough to not let her son in our house. Every ingredient list is always given to her and it still isn't enough. We can't make her understand that an unopened package will nto harm him. I stepped over the line and suggested counseling to her. Again, thank you so much for this site. I have learned so much viewing posts and hopefully can get to spend some tiem with my nephew again soon! When I do beleive me..we will be fully prepared and are 100% commited to his health and safety.

Posted on: Thu, 12/02/2010 - 3:14am
cervonil's picture
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Joined: 04/28/2010 - 12:30

I do feel for this mom, but this is an unrealistic and unhealthy request. I always bring safe food for my son. I would be very uncomfortable with people eating peanut butter/peanuts and nuts around him but I can't expect them not to eat may contain items around him and especially processed in the same facility. I can't even figure that part out half the time! I'm sorry, I'll have to read your other post about the bubble.

Posted on: Fri, 12/03/2010 - 10:49pm
Mrsdocrse's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

Hi There,
I replied to your other post as well. I agree that an unopened pkg of muffin mix in your pantry is not something that I would be concerned about.When my son was small I always brought food and a plate for him to use to eat off of. Then I didn't have to worry about cross comtanination from a plate or utensil. I keep a small travel pkg of wipes in my purse and wipe down table or chair at restaurants or tables where he was going to play.
The most important thing you can do is wash up before touching or kissing him. She needs to make sure she washes her sons hands often and teach him not to put his hands in his mouth.
Your a good auntie trying to do the right thing...

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