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Posted on: Fri, 04/18/2008 - 9:10am
DianaMarie's picture
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Joined: 04/17/2008 - 21:49

Thanks hun! You are so lucky to have a great guy. My huby is pretty good about it. My Dad's side thinks I am lying. My Dad thinks I am blowing it out of the water and that he can't do what he wants in his kitchen. Not getting started on my "mother".
Lmaooo.....I have an epi-pen, ER records and loads of medical to prove I have my allergies. My in-laws are more concerned than my own family! :) It's not all bad I guess.
Hope to keep hearing from you and everyone else! :) Have a great day!!! :)

Posted on: Fri, 04/18/2008 - 10:08am
phoenixrizing69's picture
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Joined: 12/21/2007 - 10:54

Yeah it took a while for my parents and sister's to realize how serious it is...a phone call at 11:30 pm from the camp director (my boss), i work at a camp during the summer, and another phone call from my roommate in october finally got it so they started understanding. My future mother-in-law is so concerned everytime i come over. Unfortunately, my suitemates just don't understand that i could die from this and they keep telling me that you can't react from peanut dust in the air...at least the school year is almost over for me.

Posted on: Thu, 04/24/2008 - 3:14pm
ShulerC's picture
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Joined: 04/24/2008 - 22:01

Hey there everyone, new to the board, so a very tiny bio will accompany this:
I'm 19 year old man and I live in Ohio. I've been allergic to Peanuts and all nuts that grow on the same type of plant since I was born (older brother also, he was the guinea pig for me :D)
This thread is of interest to me because I have a related question, so I thought "Why make a new topic and waste time"
Here it is:
I am DEATHLY allergic to Peanuts, I take all the precautions I can. I'm currently single after the girl I was with in HS went off to school last year, it was an amicable split and all, the only thing is, we'd been friends forever so naturally the peanuts weren't a big deal with her. In fact, I'd say that nearly everyone in my grade had heard about my deathly weakness in passing. My name's Clark, so the eventual Kryptonite jokes always pop up. Now that I'm back on the market I have a problem, how do I bring this up with a date?
A lot of people in here seem to have understanding partners and such from established relationships who've had some time to get this all straight. How do I tell the girl that I just asked out that if she eats a PB&J for lunch, and (disclosure: I'm very charming, so things have always moved quickly for me) basically convey to her: I think I have a damn good chance of making out, or more, with you tonight or on the next date or whatever. If you eat peanuts too close to our date, I may die.
Anyone have any advice on how to effectively bring this up beforehand, but without making it sound like I've got my sights set on a wild night of passion before we even get to the restaurant?
A date's a date, doesn't have to end with anything like that, but if it does, I'd rather not die. I just don't want to seem like I've got one goal in mind (sex) because I don't, I'd just like to have my bases covered.
Thanks for navigating my ramble, its a bit late for me, figured I'd just get this out and go to bed. See ya!

Posted on: Thu, 04/24/2008 - 3:36pm
phoenixrizing69's picture
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Joined: 12/21/2007 - 10:54

For me, I met my fiancee while working at a summer camp, so the whole staff knew from the beginning that I was allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I definitely cracked some random joke about it while a group of us were sitting around talking about pet peeves of ours...I mentioned my biggest pet peeve was people bringing nuts/peanuts around me. After the summer, it has just kind of naturally come up in conversations about why I can only eat at certain restaurants, don't eat certain foods, etc. I find that that is one of the easiest ways to inform someone of your food allergy. It would definitely be better to mention your allergy to potential dates while making the plans, instead of waiting until you are on the date. Hope this helps...

Posted on: Fri, 04/25/2008 - 6:29am
nutty1's picture
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Joined: 02/24/2008 - 12:46

From a womans perspective, I agree that you need to tell people BEFORE you actually have your date about your PA. I wouldn't tell them all the details about it being deadly, etc before your date, but I would certainly mention it. Since many people go to restaurants for dates, you could frame it like " I need to tell you up front that I have PA so I have to be choosy about where we eat"- something to that affect. You could also come up with some clever, yet light-hearted way to say "and I can't give you a kiss good-night if you've eaten any peanuts in the last couple day" or something like that, say it in a joking way. Then, if you have a few dates and you think this might be something long-term, you need to fill her in on all the details of PA, the good, the bad, and the ugly- so to speak.

Posted on: Wed, 07/23/2008 - 2:08am
princesshinmighty's picture
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Joined: 04/27/2002 - 09:00

Hey Clark, welcome to the board!
As a woman with the allergy, I know that I have to be careful about how I present it so that the men that I go out with don't presume that I'm "easy" and think that they're going to have their way with me on a first date...
So I bring it up in conversation - ie, when we're discussing what the plans are, I let them know "well, we can't do places like Texas Roadhouse or Joes Crab Shack, etc due to my nut and shellfish allergies." They usually ask about them, and I will go into details.
The way I discuss it, obviously, depends on how the talk goes - I've had discussions where I say "any type of bodily fluid can carry the proteins in it that I'm allergic to - sweat, blood, tears, saliva, etc." That way it doesn't bring up the presumptuous "semen" or anything like that.

Posted on: Wed, 08/20/2008 - 8:49am
sidni's picture
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Joined: 08/28/2004 - 09:00

I definitely think the best way to bring it up is when you're having a casual conversation or talking about where to go on a date. A lot of people will ask you questions about it, which gives you an easy opportunity to elaborate. But honesty is best, and plenty of people aren't uptight about acknowledging that yea, if things work out, you're going to want a kiss good night.
When I'm touching on the "body fluids" topic, I try to present it with a bit of a laugh, and try to talk about the less sexual aspects, so no one makes big assumptions. For example, mentioning that the proteins can be carried by body fluids, so if I get a wicked meal and you just can't resist stealing my fork to try it, your residual saliva could be problematic if you've eaten nuts! And certain people, I've known I can just be direct with them, you know?
Good luck.

Posted on: Fri, 08/22/2008 - 9:21am
danni's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2008 - 16:01

I have been dating a guy for nearly a year and a half now and even though he isnt.. he has adopted "being allergic to peanuts and tree nuts" just so there isnt any accidents. There have been a few occasions where his family will make stuff with nuts [he wont eat it] but then his family will share his drinks and such [which at first i took as being inconsiderate but now i realise that they just dont understand] and i waited a few days to kiss him.

Posted on: Sun, 10/04/2009 - 3:05pm
Inchoate's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2009 - 21:54

I'm not allergic to peanuts, but my boyfriend is. He's been allergic since he was a little kid and he's 23 now. He has a deathly allergy and has had multiple anaphylactc reactions landing him in the hospital. :( He also has asthma and allergies to cashews and pistachios. He is also allergic to pretty much everything on an allergy test. (As a side note, I got an allergy test this past winter and all my levels were 0. Here's to hoping our kids get my genes.)
We wait, at most, 3 hours to kiss. If I'm eating something with only a tiny amount of peanuts(such as a granola bar with "peanut flour" as the last ingredient") then we may kiss sooner if I brush my teeth. However, if I eat a PB&J sandwich or something with large amounts of peanuts we do wait 3 hours.
This may seem like a very short time to some people, but it's what he's done in all his relationships. He is extremely allergic, including airborne peanut reactions.
I would encourage everyone to do what feels safe to them. However, I wanted to share a different approach than what was presented already.

Posted on: Mon, 05/09/2011 - 5:54am
Samantha418's picture
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Joined: 04/11/2011 - 12:44

I'm 22 and have had a severe PA my entire life. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years now, and we just moved in together. He pretty much gave up eating all peanuts and nuts in fear of making me sick. When we first started dating, he didn't really understand the allergy. Then, about a year ago when I went into shock and was admitted to the ER, he took one look at me and from then on has taken my allergy more seriously than anything else. If he eats something that says "may contain" he will brush his teeth and use mouth wash before even going near me! He's a sweetie and is totally understanding (but when he's out of town he does sneak in a Thai dish here and there). I'm so glad I met someone that treats my allery as seriously as I do, even though he doesn't have it! :)
Also, for advice on how to bring it up to a new date, I say tell them immediately. My boyfriend and I met at a campus organization. One day we had to do work together and he brought in a bag of peanut m&m's and I immediately said "Ummm can you not eat those I'm like deathly allergic". I find that being really brash and somewhat comical about it makes it easier to break the ice. He didn't really understand me at first and gave me a weird look when I asked him to wash his hands before we did work together, but the fact that he went right to the bathroom and washed them anyway and never brought peanuts near me again confirmed the fact that I knew he had a crush on me :) if the person is worth your time at all, they will understand (eventually) the severity of a PA. Til then, hold your head high and don't worry about being "that guy" that has the annoying allergy. Makes us unique :)

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