Sorry to hear about her being scared. It is scary. I have had my food allergies for 1 year now. I finally told my husband that I do not want to go out to eat at all. Period. I cook and bake at home from scratch or using safe foods. When we travel I pack all my food or shop and use a cooler in the hotel room. Eating out can kill me even though I explain and explain all the things I can and can't eat. I do not know what they are doing back in the kitchen. I just is not safe. Eating out is just off limits for me. If I have to go to a restaurant with other people I bring in my own food. This is what has really helped me feel safe and happy.
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Allergic to all soy, all nuts, peas, beans, sunflower. Started at age 40.

Our comfort zone is similar to that to start with--
what we do w/r to traveling is to simply ([i]HA. Right....[/i]) pack all of her food. We try to use inidividual serving sized fruit cups, safe tortillas/chips/crackers, and carry a cooler that we simply move from teh 12V in the car to its AC adapter in the hotel. While it [i]is[/i] a major pain, it alleviates a lot of that restrained panic of being in constant hunter-gatherer mode for 'safe food' while on vacation (which is supposed to be about [i]not[/i] worrying, KWIM?)-- this is particularly true with MFA.
No, it doesn't feel spontaneous. Because it isn't. But FA make that virtually impossible anyway.
If we [i]find[/i] something she's comfortable with, great. But most of the time, it is just less anxiety-producing for [i]all[/i] of us for her to eat food she's brought.
I feel sad sometimes, too, that she can't enjoy that particular aspect of travel and vacationing. (And selfishly, that [i]I[/i] can't either.... ) But then again, it just [i]is[/i] from her perspective, and truthfully, it is [i]less stressful to NOT HAVE TO WONDER AND WORRY while away from home.[/i]
She experiences adventure in other ways. Her choice.
Please post what you can about your experience working with a therapist. I think that many of us have some misgivings about doing so-- it would be nice to have information instead, since this is apparently a common developmental milestone for our kids. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

We bring our food wherever we go. DS has FAs, DH has something that we haven't figured out yet and is on a restricted diet (may be FAs, may be something else but causes very serious but delayed reactions) and I have food sensitivities so none of us can eat in most restaurants easily. I used to really miss reastaurants and almost mourn not going out to eat but I've grown used to it. I'm a way better cook now. We have become more focused on everything else in life. Instead of looking forward to going to X restaurant on Friday night we go for fun family walks to the river or play outside or garden or etc, etc. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Food is no longer the big focus it was before. I don't feel sad about it anymore because for us truthfully eating out is usually more stress than it is worth.
I have one of those things that can cook pasta (you add water, plug it in, the water boils, you add the pasta and it cooks) that we could take on trips. We have big coolers. I keep DS's food stocked in our trunk and our house so we are always ready with stuff he can eat. We have a lot of fun doing things like what we did this summer with my brother. We had a make your own sundae party where first we made dairy-free ice cream (and we added mix in-s as it was mixing [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] ), and then we had about 5 or so toppings. It was super fun--WAY better than going to some ice cream place would have been.
I would love the FAs to be gone but they are here now. Life can still be fun.
Best wishes.

As I was talking about this with my daughter, she pointed something [i]else[/i] out to me that simply would never have occurred to me.
She said, "You know what is so great about bringing my own Bento Box to a restaurant? I never have to worry about finding something that I [i]want[/i] to eat that is safe. I [i]know[/i] that I will love what is in that box."
She's right. I was thinking about this, and I really only appreciated this point once I myself developed a SFA. This really means that at least half the menu is totally off-limits at a lot of restaurants. Which kinda burns when you are looking down the menu and feel like, "Wow-- I'm paying 16 bucks for something that I don't even really [i]want."[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] So I definitely see her point.
She [i]knows[/i] she's going to get to eat something she'll enjoy. Which is more than anyone else does. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

I can't eat out at restaurants anymore and that used to be me and my husbands favortie thing to do.
It takes so getting used to- I know.
We bring our own food when traveling.
I have even taking my own food into restaurants with relatives that insist on eating out.
For hotels without a full kitchen look at what my husband is going to get for me:
[url="http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/links/link.jsp?id=0043467517693a&type=product&cmCat=search&returnPage=search-results1.jsp&QueryText=the+wave+box&N=4887&Ntk=Products&Ntx"]http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templa...tk=Products&Ntx[/url] =mode+matchall&Nty=1&Ntt=the+wave+box&noImage=0
Don't know if that link was too big. Go to [url="http://www.cabelas.com"]www.cabelas.com[/url] and search for The Wave Box. It is a small portable microwave. We ar going to get it and take with us to hotels on vacation. We'll go to grocery store and fill up a cooler and I'll be able to heat up things in the little micro wave/ Haven't gotten it yet but it looks great.
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Allergic to all soy, all nuts, peas, beans, sunflower. Started at age 40.

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]She's right. I was thinking about this, and I really only appreciated this point once I myself developed a SFA. This really means that at least half the menu is totally off-limits at a lot of restaurants. Which kinda burns when you are looking down the menu and feel like, "Wow-- I'm paying 16 bucks for something that I don't even really [i]want."[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] So I definitely see her point.
She [i]knows[/i] she's going to get to eat something she'll enjoy. Which is more than anyone else does. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img][/b]
Half the menu? Then I'd say you're pretty lucky. What I typically find is there is one, may be two things I can eat. I just always get those. Eating has become such a mercenary thing. And for SFA it seems it's not even healthier like it is typically for PA (at least in our experience). Baked things tend to be safest, but they're not always the healthiest. Umm . . . yep that shepherd's pie won't cause harm. I think with MFA, too, it's even more difficult. The path of least resistence isn't always the healthiest one.
It does get stressful.
So I would add that in addition to that Bento Box containing something she knows she'll like, it will contain something you [i]want her to eat.[/i]
If that point's been made above, sorry. It's been a while since I've read the earlier parts of the thread.

Quote:Originally posted by nosoyforme:
[b]I can't eat out at restaurants anymore and that used to be me and my husbands favortie thing to do.
It takes so getting used to- I know.
We bring our own food when traveling.
I have even taking my own food into restaurants with relatives that insist on eating out.
For hotels without a full kitchen look at what my husband is going to get for me:
[url=http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/links/link.jsp?id=0043467517693a&type=product&cmCat=search&returnPage=search-results1.jsp&QueryText=the+wave+box&N=4887&Ntk=Product%20s&Ntx]http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/links/link.jsp?id=0043467517693a&type=product&cmCat=search&returnPage=search-results1.jsp&QueryText=the+wave+box&N=4887&Ntk=Produc ts&Ntx[/url] =mode+matchall&Nty=1&Ntt=the+wave+box&noImage=0
Don't know if that link was too big. Go to [url="http://www.cabelas.com"]www.cabelas.com[/url] and search for The Wave Box. It is a small portable microwave. We ar going to get it and take with us to hotels on vacation. We'll go to grocery store and fill up a cooler and I'll be able to heat up things in the little micro wave/ Haven't gotten it yet but it looks great.
[/b]
Wow!! That looks brilliant!! I'm going to college soon (for the first time... at 38 years old), and this looks like an answer for me. I don't eat out since a few bad reactions while doing so. I'm adult onset as well, and went through being hospitalized when I first got diagnosed. I had gone from 135 lbs. to 85 lbs. It was horrible!
I now have a portable solution for hot meals between classes!! Thank you!!!
Gwen 5, I hope you and your daughter are doing okay.