the sympathetic stare

Posted on: Sun, 08/12/2007 - 11:33pm
lilysmom's picture
Joined: 07/20/2007 - 09:00

Has anyone else ever experienced this? I was out with DD in our neighborhood yesterday and she was showing one of the kids her new medic-alert bracelet and very proudly told them she could not have any peanuts. (I myself was pleased as punch because I must be doing something right), the child's father was there and gave me this sympathetic look when I smiled and said that's right good job. She's 4 1/2 she thinks her PA makes her special, maybe reading Allie over and over again has helped. But I can't get this look of this father's face out of my head, like oh I'm soo sorry. Sorry for what, she's healthy, happy and bright. She's not deprived of anything, I make her choc. chip cookies and cakes,etc. I let her do things most kids are able to do, we just have to be extra careful and vigilent. I'm not sure why the sympathy. Has this happened to anyone else?

Posted on: Mon, 08/13/2007 - 12:14am
Peg541's picture
Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Take that sympathetic stare and RUN with it.
That father will be on your side when your daughter plays at his house and when the peanut lovers fight your school to make peanut scented crayons available to everyone.
I'd rather have a sympathetic stare than the [b]Eye Roll[/b] which makes me want to harm.

Posted on: Mon, 08/13/2007 - 1:42am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

I have found that you more often get the 'sympathetic' response from other [i]special needs families.[/i] They 'get it' in a way that few others do. It isn't that life is 'bad' because of this-- just 'different.'
The more run-of-the-mill thing seems to be, as Peg puts it-- the [b]eye roll.[/b] Grrrr.
I'll take "Oh what a bummer" any day over "Ohhhhh, you're one of [i]those[/i]."

Posted on: Mon, 08/13/2007 - 2:25am
mom2boys1975's picture
Joined: 07/19/2007 - 09:00

I haven't gotten that, jut "oh that must be so hard" I just say it isn't too bad.
I have also had another mom start telling me everything she knows about pa and what she does to keep any pa kids that visit her home safe. LOL She does a good job! I thought it was cute.

Posted on: Mon, 08/13/2007 - 8:06am
momll70's picture
Joined: 09/26/2006 - 09:00

I get "oh that must be hard" too. I feel they understand a little more and may be more thougtful when it comes to understanding allergy. This people will not be the types to push PA children into trying something dangerous.

Posted on: Mon, 08/13/2007 - 12:10pm
lilysmom's picture
Joined: 07/20/2007 - 09:00

Yea, I got that feeling from the mom. I guess coming from the dad it was weird. I guess because most of the men in my life are the take it as it comes type with some sympathy, I guess I never felt the empathy before, maybe that's what he was displaying actual empathy. Huh, never thought of it that way. Thanks!

Posted on: Tue, 08/14/2007 - 3:59am
Christabelle's picture
Joined: 10/03/2004 - 09:00

I have to admit I love that - because it means someone 'got it.' I agree what I hate instead is the 1. blank look 2. hostile look or 3. as others have said - eye roll.

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