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Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 2:33am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

What a mess, huh?
I would find out pronto who is going to be invited to your eligibility meeting.
And stop doing any talking at all "one-on-one" to anyone but your son's teacher (who you obviously have to have a working relationship with day to day if you're sending him).
But for now, [i]say nothing about disability, 504 status, doctor's orders, ANYTHING regarding this....[/i] You can nod and smile and say "I'll have to get back to you." You can look puzzled and say, "I'll have to think about that." But no more information. Even teacher has plenty of information right now-- probably more than she can handle.
(Style aside.) Nicey-nicey is for people who have an ability to make your life better or worse [i]outside the strict rules on paper[/i]. (Like your son't teacher.) Administrators absolutely do not qualify under most circumstances. Yours have already AMPLY proven themselves to be hose-beasts, for lack of a better term. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
And remember that chipmunks with tenure are not generally afraid of either [i]you.... or the bear.[/i]

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 2:42am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Just saw your other thread--
now that you know who's invited to your meeting, you know what you're dealing with.
Expect meek behavior from your teacher, unless I badly miss my guess. The after-care people will be in major CYA mode after your son's injury. Neither is likely to be much help (or hindrance, probably). The only thing either are likely to do is object to additional responsibility when you get to the point of drafting a plan.
It kinda sounds like the "suits" will be running your show. Do you know anything about any of them? Which of them was behind the initial resistance you met with?
How supportive has this nurse been, other than this one incident? Is she vocal and assertive? Or likely to be highly submissive? In other words, will she be trouble one way or the other?
Prepare documents and bury them in paper if they try to deny eligibility.
(Lock and load.) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:13am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

It's not surprising that those who have acted inappropriately will try to blame you. Typical 'blame the victim' behavior to CYA. That's unfortunately part of the culture of bureaucracies. Don't worry about it. Seriously. I bet you're right that the school nurse whined about you being 'difficult'. But it doesn't matter now. When this is all done you'll have plenty of years for these administrators to [i]really [/i]get to know you. Eventually they'll appreciate what you've done for [i]them[/i]. What's important now is for things to get worked out to your satisfaction and down on paper. So stick to your guns. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
BTW, then I read your update I couldn't help but think of something. I hope you won't be offended by a little levity to your frustrating situation. [i]Did you ever see the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine tries to find a doctor to treat her rash, but can't find one because her chart labels her 'difficult'?[/i]
ETA: [url="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePackage.htm"]http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePackage.htm[/url]
[This message has been edited by Gail W (edited September 15, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:19am
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I have absolutley no idea about the school nurse as I've never met nor spoken with her if you can believe that. Since the school is a small charter school the nurse is only at the school for "issues". She doesn't come on any certain days to stay for awhile if that makes sense. I do know that the school director told me the other day they had the former school nurse (who's little girl is in my dd's 2nd grade class) teach "everyone" (no idea who everyone is) how to use the inhaler and spacer.
I think the only thing the teacher will do in the meeting is voice her concerns about how freaked she is because this is serious stuff and the after school care person is a super quiet person so I don't expect much from her. (She's a mom of my dd's friend in 2nd grade as well, lol!)
The superintendant- we've met her and while she's all giggles and smiles she's VERY ignorant in relation to allergies. She is the one who told me "Peanut butter is a staple of the Kindergarten diet so we can't ask them not to eat it at school. For some kids that's the only thing they will eat". She also said she has allergies and fully understands. (She has environmental allergies for which she takes Singulair, that's what she said)
The school director- again ignorant on food allergies but has learned a lot in speaking w/the doctor's office though she has had her back up from day one and while she smiles at me face to face it's sure that she talks out of both sides of her mouth. Not sure about the 504/Special ED coordinater. I have never met him.
Oh, there's another person who's going to be there. She's some uppy up but can't remember her title. Her dd is in my dd's 2nd grade class as well. (Told you, small school). She is very nice, level headed but she's on the school's side I'm quite sure. (If they perceive there to be "sides")
As far as saying anything about "504" the school director set up that meeting. I haven't said anything about it aside from the first day when I threw it out there when she was saying "NO" to everything. In all honesty it has been her who has been pushing this.
Now, about the doctor's orders- I didn't send ds to school today because they are confused on what to do in case of contact or ingestion of nuts. I have orders that are much clearer along with some verbal things to tell them (per the doctor's office). So you're saying don't even go to them with the new orders till the meeting Monday afternoon?
Also, in their letter confirming their interrpretation of the doctors orders (prior to these new ones..hope that makes sense) they wrote for me to tell them of any additional accomodations that need to be made. I found that interesting. (No, I haven't said a word but I'm trying to get some thoughts down about some things that do need to be included. Is there anyone who will help me with that? The school nurse?)
As far as the chart being altered I thought about that but can't figure out why it would be. I will say the doctor was not his normal / usual self. Normally he's very vocal about the severity of ds' allergies. I can't remember exact words but basically he said he doesn't want ds down on the playground that these people need to take this seriously and etc. Basically what I'm saying his his demeanor changed drastically for some reason. It's almost as if he's worried about liability himself but ??

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:22am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]Nothing says you can't be squeaky [i]while[/i] you're being sweet. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img][/b]
. . . velvet hammer approach?

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:25am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Remind me, what wort of testing has your son had? SPT? CAP RAST?

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:27am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]Remind me, what wort of testing has your son had? SPT? CAP RAST?[/b]
Didn't mean to speak like Scooby Doo there. . . LOL! Make that [i][b]s[/b]ort[/i].

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:35am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

He had the skin prick testing and the blood tests. (I'm not up on the lingo) I don't have the #'s.
He has had to allergic reactions.
He kicked a bowl of pistachios and broke out in huge hives all over and was very "grumpy". He didn't sleep well at all that night (kicked the bowl in the evening) and tossed and turned and cried off and on all night and just wasn't "right". I never even put two and two together till the next day. He woke up and his eyes were swollen and he still had hives all over.
The second reaction was when he licked a peanut. I was eating peanuts and he wanted to taste one so he licked it. At this same time dh was putting him up on the table for a haircut. So just minutes later ds started freaking, screaming, crying and scratching himself. We thought it was the haircut. His nose started running like there was a water faucet up there and he literally was just freaking out. We took him into the shower (still thinking it was the hair) and in the rush of it all didn't notice his face and lips till after he was in the shower. His lips were swollen, super red and he had hives everywhere. He was scratching himself all over and drew blood in some spots. During this time dh asked me "Did he eat a nut??" I then remembered he licked my peanut!! AHHHHHH! So, we got him out and put baby powder on him to stop the itching and he was just screaming and crying and nose was running and he was jumping around.
How dumb are we? We didn't do anything besides calm him down, put baby powder on him and etc. He had hives all evening into bedtime.
Now, just so you know we had no idea about nut allergies. I know that sounds stupid but we just didn't. We didn't know to give Benadryl and we didn't have any epis but you can bet your sweet bippy he went for testing after that.

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:43am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by ~*Trace*~:
[b]He had the skin prick testing and the blood tests. (I'm not up on the lingo) I don't have the #'s. [/b]
Do you have copies in your possession? Or would you need the allergist to fax them to you?
If it were me, I'd have copies of those two lab results in my hand before the meeting. Maybe ask your 504 guru what she thinks, but if the results are compelling, this could be convincing 'data' that should be discussed in your eligibility meeting and also [i]documented on the 504 eligibility paperwork[/i] for 504 eligibility.
I think this is very important.

Posted on: Fri, 09/15/2006 - 3:46am
Gail W's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by ~*Trace*~:
[b]How dumb are we? We didn't do anything besides calm him down, put baby powder on him and etc. He had hives all evening into bedtime.
Now, just so you know we had no idea about nut allergies. I know that sounds stupid but we just didn't. We didn't know to give Benadryl and we didn't have any epis but you can bet your sweet bippy he went for testing after that. [/b]
You sound like any parent who is new to food allergies. We were all 'dumb' once. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

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