Have you ever approached someone for eating pnuts in public?

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 1:41pm
3xy1PAinNH's picture
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A young (20ish) woman and her SO are walking through Target tonight, and she has popped open a jar of nuts and is munching away! She stopped in an aisle right next to my PA ds (3 years).

My reaction was absolute ANGER, annoyance, rise in blood pressure...I was fuming! I practically RAN away from her.

Afterwards I realized I missed an opportunity to stop her and ask her if she had ever heard of PA, and if she realized that by opening that container, she had just exposed the air, floor (dropping nuts) and the carriage and any items in the store she touched to something that could KILL my son.

You figure if 1000 people are in that Target a day, and you assume 1% of the population is PA...then she potentially put 15 people at risk. If the new stat of 2% is accurate then it is 30 people...and that is just PA...this nut mix had other nuts, too.

Just curious as to how you would have handled this??? would you have said something?

Ironically I had all three kids, and needed diapers and two other things. I didnt' have the epi bag where I thought it was, and nearly ran in to Target without it. But, I knew I couldn't get to the car fast enough if there was an emergency, so I ran around the other side of the car to get the bag. Just goes to show you you always need to take that bag!

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 1:57pm
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Quote:Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH:
[b]A young (20ish) woman and her SO are walking through Target tonight, and she has popped open a jar of nuts and is munching away! She stopped in an aisle right next to my PA ds (3 years)....[/b]
As a microbiology lab tech, this bothered me WAY before the thought of allergies; what a great way for her to contaminate everything she touched with germs from her mouth! YUCK! [i]Loving the thought of bringing home food with slobber on the package.[/i]
And DOUBLE YUCK with allergies! Yes, it has always bothered me that kids can't be without food in their mouths for the 20-30 min that they might be in the store. Or with those PITA parents that don't have the guts to tell their kids, "NO!" when they beg for food in the store. Heaven forbid the little dears get angry! [i]Feed them in the car, like I do...hee hee hee.[/i]
And yes, another good reason to always have the Epi...even when you know you're not going to eat something. Good point!
Daisy

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 2:42pm
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I know- I see this in so many stores we shop. I have three kids in tow- and no- I don't stop to educate them. I still seem to have that mindset that nuts are going to be out in the world-- so I run away and I feel angry, but I usually don't say a word. I do want to....

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 3:37pm
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I DO! I would kick myself if I didn't say something. Had to one year, we were at the ballet-Nutcracker. I heard that all to familiar crackling of the peanutbutter cracker package being opened. I turned around and calmly asked her etc.... and explained etc... . She put them away, but it just ruins the whole experience of the event. KWIM? I get angry at myself if I don't say something, but I also am annoyed that I HAVE to say something. Especially if situations where food is not allowed--this gets me soooo mad. Just venting!
Oh, by the way, my sister and mom are more vocal than me. And, I am the one known to have the big mouth-ha ha !
------------------
Stacie - Mother to:
10 yr. PA
8 yr. TNA
2.5 yr. PA&TNA

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 3:51pm
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When my son was flying to Scotland we were waiting at Los Angeles for a flight. A woman across from us had a transparent bag of food and that included a large can of peanuts.
I went up to her and asked was she going on the same flight we were? I told her why. It turns out she was on her way to Hawaii.
I explained to her why I asked and she seemed very concerned. The lady next to her was rolling her eyes away at me.
So I got one but not the other.
Peg

Posted on: Wed, 10/25/2006 - 11:02pm
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I missed the opportunity too and blasted myself later for NOT saying something.
I was at the Delta ticket counter in Charleston, S.C. The ticket agent that was checking me in, had a little pile of shelled peanuts that he was shelling and eating, while working.
I was in SHOCK!
I realized later that the reason I didn't speak up was because of the eye-rolling Peg mentions. I swear that the NEXT time, I will speak up.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 12:15am
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I speak up. Especially if that person is in close proximity of my DD. If I can move away and not say anything, I will. We were at the Big Apple Circus once and someone started eating peanuts next to my DH. My DD was 4 seats away from them. I asked them if they would mind not eating them and told them about my DD and PA. They said "Oh, sorry". But we felt uncomfortable and looked around for other seats anyway.
I also did that when we were about to board the plane last year to CA. There was a mom with 2 kids and she had a can of peanuts with her to take on the plane. I politely asked her where she was sitting to make sure it wasn't near us and she was very nice about it and said she wouldn't eat them on that flight.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 1:22am
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the eyerolling...one of my least favorite aspects of other peoples' reactions to our PA needs.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 1:42am
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Most of the time, I just move away. I don't bother saying anything because so often I fear that I will come across as either hysterical or hostile... (gee, imagine that, huh?)
But two instances stand out in my mind. One I am sure that I seemed quite hysterical, as I was fighting down rising panic. It was in a local health food store, where I HAD to go to purchase specialty flours in bulk. Yes, had to-- we had not one other choice at that time... Anyway, this woman was there with a toddler, and she had just filled up a big ole tub of grind it yourself PB... and was about to hand it and a spoon over to her kid...
I asked her if she could wait for "Just five minutes... Please. (begging) I just need to get flour for my daughter...." I don't think she really "got it" but she complied anyway. I think I shocked her and she thought it was possible that I was pretty disturbed. Whatever.
The second instance involves the Disneyland railroad. We got on at the main street station (this is Anaheim) and there were VERY few seats. The people right behind us took out their PB+J and DD started to turn funny colors. So DH and I proceeded to have a conversation (glancing furtively over our shoulders periodically) about what we could do. We couldn't get off the train, as it was in motion, but there was nowhere to move to, either. They finally asked and when we explained, they very politely put them away. I was absolutely floored. We did move as soon as we were able, but thanked them again before we did so.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 2:06am
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I've never approached someone eating peanuts in public and asked them to stop - I think the only reason I would do this would be if it directly impacted my DS at that very moment (ie if the person was going to touch him immediately for some reason - doctor, dentist or something akin to that). As for general consumption in our vicinity - if I felt it was dangerous, I would move.
I don't find myself blameless in the eating in public department either - I often do my grocery shopping while slurping on a latte and making use of the cup holder so conveniently attached to the cart (many grocery chains have a Second Cup of a Starbucks inside now...) - a nightmare for those dealing with a milk allergy for sure...

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 3:20am
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I do say something (imagine that [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/redface.gif[/img] ), especially if the location is not a place where normally civilized people eat:
TARGET! the reason for garbage cans outside front doors is for people to throw away food & beverages PRIOR to entering store. You are NOT supposed to open & eat foods prior to purchasing. Whatever happened to NOT eating in stores??
THEATRES (other than movie)! The ballet or symphony or other seated-theatre experience is NOT a place for food. Intermission in the lobby is place for snack, if offered for sale.
We are rapidly becoming a nation of obese, food-smeared slobs. Any wonder when we cannot seem to go even an hour without some sort of non-nutritional doo-doo shoved into our orifices. . .
but I digress.
I DID say that I say something, didn't I?
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 3:54am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Quote:
We are rapidly becoming a nation of obese, food-smeared slobs.
BRA-VO!!!! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
It has occurred to me that this may also explain why I have great difficulty finding clothing that fits my SLENDER seven year old. Who is obviously eating much more daintily than most of her compadres. The only differences that I can see?
A. She doesn't gorge on junkfood more than once a month. At most. More like four times a year.
B. She eats regular meals-- not this constant "grazing" that nutritionists claim is so great.
I also would add (respectfully, since I know other people feel differently) that I NEVER eat or drink in places where it is obviously not appropriate. This includes stores. If I wouldn't appreciate someone feeding their 2 yo a pb smeared bagel there, it isn't someplace I need to be eating or drinking anything otehr than water either. What goes around comes around.
And truthfully, managing a milk allergic toddler is insanely difficult (even by our standards [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ) without ME making it harder. Never mind all of the ignoramuses in the world who shall continue to slurp down frappucinos til they pop.... [i]I should know better.[/i]
It may only be one person less, but hey-- aren't we the ones who are always saying that every little bit helps? Reduce the risk, right? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 6:45am
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I admit to high annoyance that in our culture you can't go anywhere without seeing someone stuffing his or her face. Usually - several someones. Often talking and eating with the mouths open. Ick.
I read once about a culture that is made of people who are embarrassed to eat around others - it is considered a private activity, done with your head turned away on your own time, so as not to gross out your comrades.
I can't help but long for that sometimes.(!) People eat in their cars, at every possible venue, even Church (that one always shocks me - junior eating away during Mass) - all day long, day in, day out.
I agree with the food smeared slob comment. It's just grotesque and constant. I am a conservative Republican captalist and love our successes as a country - but the sight of fat junk-foody Americans stuffing and stuffing themselves as a hobby, way, way beyond bodily need, so that the excess is stored in rolls on their bodies - while other people starve elsewhere - just really bothers me.
AND this is before we even get down to the extra issue to my PA child - peanuts and nuts all over everything, too.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 6:45am
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Thanks for all the input. I think this will just depend on my mood and the danger involved in the situation in the future.
Honestly, as a mom of three children, two under 4....I allow my boys to sometimes eat pretzels or goldfish in the stores...and even sometimes the free cheese from teh Deli (another MA mom's nightmare, I am sure). Expecting two young children to sit 20-30 minutes in a store with no distraction is not reasonable...unless you have well behaved passive daughters (which I don't, note my usename!). Toys only work a few minutes...then they are thrown on the floor in a never ending game of 'pick-up!" It isn't about saying NO to my children...I do that enough in the store (No, you may NOT have that cereal/candy/etc). But as for adults...I would hope most of the time they don't need to eat in a store!
I also don't buy into the argument about there should be no food anywhere, anytime...last statistic I saw was that 1 in 6 children is obese. THE REST ARE NOT! In my son's school of 250 elementary children, I can only think of a handful that are obviously overweight. IMO it is all about balance. I dont' want to give my kids junk food or processed food ALL THE TIME...but it is okay to have. For me it is just as much about exercise as food consumption.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 8:39am
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I am shamed. With the DD in one of the local supermarkets i have to admit once in awhile I do get a cup of coffe to drink while shopping. Don't I feel like a hypocrite. Shamed seriously. Mostly these days I shop online, it saves me a ton of money. I stick to the brands I know so no impulse buys. I just go pick it up at the store for $10 .
But getting back to the orginal question I probably would have walked away from her and not said anything. the only time I do say something is if we are actaully sitting next to someone like others have said at an event. I am most worried about movie theaters to be honest. I try to scan what people are eating in front of us and in back of us.
I think next time I go food shopping i will get my coffee on the way out.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 9:45am
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haven't had time to read through the entire thread, but the short answer is NO! i can't even imagine approaching a stranger and telling them that what they are eating is inappropriate! IMHO, that takes a lot of nerve..

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 10:43am
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Quote:Originally posted by Adele:
[b]I missed the opportunity too and blasted myself later for NOT saying something.
I was at the Delta ticket counter in Charleston, S.C. The ticket agent that was checking me in, had a little pile of shelled peanuts that he was shelling and eating, while working.
I was in SHOCK!
I realized later that the reason I didn't speak up was because of the eye-rolling Peg mentions. I swear that the NEXT time, I will speak up. [/b]
Good for you Adele. I have a good friend who rolls her eyes if I mention PA in reference to my son. She is a nurse. I can't fathom her problem but roll away.
Peg

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 10:56am
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While waiting on line at a ride someone in front of us was eating peanut butter crackers. Walking in the city (New York) everyone eats peanuts on the streets. Waiting in line for Santa Clause. We actually got off the line. While watching the Lion King play nuts all around. I get so tired of being careful. In a museum cafeteria. Won't eat lunch there anymore because my son's eyes started to turn red. Sometimes I feel like we are a magnet for peanuts. I know it sounds crazy but simetimes that is how it is.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 10:57am
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Yes, no, I don't know in answer to the original question...how is that for honest?
My favorite is when I see parents allowing their kids to eat fruit from the produce section without washing it or paying for it first. Do you weigh the kid before and after so you pay the right amount? Why is it that Target feels the need to hassle me because I allow my son to ride in the basket portion of the cart yet say nothing to the parents stealing food (produce)? I'm trying my best to make my $220 stretch over a two week pay period to include diapers, formula and food for 3 adults and one child. But I have to wonder about those women wandering around in their name brand clothing, $300 sunglasses and dripping with diamonds teaching their kids that it's okay to steal. Shoplifters will be prosecuted - yeah right! Shoplifters will drive the price of the produce through the roof making it nearly impossible for those of us trying to live a healthier lifestyle on a budget.
Ooops, you found my hot topic button. I will reset and retreat to the corner now since I totally went off topic and on a rampage!
------------------
Mommy to Aiden (1/26/05) PA,wheat,barley,soy,egg and others yet to be discovered and Connor (7/21/06) with possible egg allergy

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 11:02am
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Actually, I never say anything to anyone unless they are talking to my son. One time someone I knew was looking at my son's carseat and I smelled peanuts on her. she was munching on them she had them in her pockets. I mentioned it to her because I knew her. But I don't say anything to strangers unless someone goes to touch him or give him something to eat.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 11:07am
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I was at a stop & shop and their was a slow person helping the cashier. She was baging. She just finished eating a sandwich. I couldn't tell what kind it was but she was drooling a little and I started to panick because I didn't want her touching my bags. I didn't want to be rude to her but I started to bag as fast as I could and she kept telling me that she would do it. She bagged about 2 bags and when I went home I wiped and washed everything that I could. I don't care about germs so much, it's the peanuts that scare me to death.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 1:40pm
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Hey Jennifer...you just described me (except the sunglasses....)...and my sons don't steal or shoplift(said with a wry smile)...at least not yet...but that 3yo is already giving me a run for my money...so you never know what the teenage years will bring [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 2:14pm
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I think I am going to have to revise my previous answer. At target, walmart, etc...No, I am not going to say anything to the lady pushing the cart. I myself am quite guilty of allowing my preschoolers to snack while I am shopping. Peanut free food, but still food. But, if while at the nutcraker someone decides to open a Reese's in the chair beside or behind us, I am absolutely going to say something! If it actually puts my child in immediate danger, rather than situation where I can move my cart to next aisle, YES...I will speak up.
One time at Kroger, the girl at the register was eating a Snickers and sitting it down beside the register while scanning. I saw this after a few items and did move to another line. She felt awful but many people looked at me like I was crazy! I did not want her contaminated hands touching all the food I was bringing home. And then I wondered how many people had just eaten nut products w/o washing hands and I just didn't SEE it. KWIM?

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2006 - 2:53pm
Peg541's picture
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I remember once in my synagogue a lady in front of me took out peanut butter crackers to give to her child. It was a long day in synagogue.
I told her that the next day my son would be with us for services and if she is there would she please bring something besides peanut butter? She told me her son was not growing properly and she needed to feed him frequently. I then told her my son would die if exposed to her peanut butter and she immediately said she never knew and would not bring PB to synagogue again.
That was pretty decent of her and I had to do that in order to show my son how it's done.
We spend Christmas eve with our neighbors and they spend a night of Hanukkah with us. One Christmas eve she put out a bowl of peanuts. My son was maybe 10. He said "Sally I can't stay here as long as those peanuts are in this room. Would you mind putting them outside?" She did so immediately. If I had asked her she would have done it only after an eye roll.
I felt DS was well within his rights since Sally knew about his allergy. It went over well and she has never set out nuts since.
Peg

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 12:20am
ajas_folks's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH:
[b]
I also don't buy into the argument about there should be no food anywhere, anytime...last statistic I saw was that 1 in 6 children is obese. THE REST ARE NOT! In my son's school of 250 elementary children, I can only think of a handful that are obviously overweight. IMO it is all about balance. I dont' want to give my kids junk food or processed food ALL THE TIME...but it is okay to have. For me it is just as much about exercise as food consumption.
[/b]
Just truly wondering where you live that kids are so seemingly healthy?
Your jaw would DROP if you saw the kids here in Georgia where we are! I would say that 4 of 6 are overweight &/or obese. And the kids in Texas (from where we just moved) -- well, San Antonio is on record as one of fattest places in US -- the childhood obesity rate is HUGE as is the childhood DIABETES rate!
Corn syrup combined with little exercise equals a deadly combination, IMHO.
~EB

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 3:24am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] Never mind all of the ignoramuses in the world who shall continue to slurp down frappucinos til they pop.... [i]I should know better.[/b]
Would that be directed at me? A frappucino is not really my poison of choice, and I'm hardy an ignoramus (nor likely to "pop" at any time soon).
Obesity epidemic aside, I still don't see how berating the general public about their eating habits helps spread the word about allergies. Before my DS was diagnosed, I would have thought someone was a lunatic if they did this to me.
Pegs example of her son at her firends house I agree with - immediate problem directly impacting her son. Someone walking by us in the mall (or park, or library or whatever) does not). And for what its worth, I can't even presume to speak for all peanut allergy sufferers, only my son. For as many people dealing with this who are worried about residue and such at say, Walmart, there are many that are not (and as a matter of fact not worried about too many things at all), so my comments about allergies to the "slobbering pig" who's chowing down in the produce aisle while valid for me, in my situation, will only be seen as crazy when some other PA sufferer dismisses them as too much.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 4:29am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Absolutely NOT!! (Definitely didn't mean it to sound accusatory if it did.)
Eating that goes on in public places like stores is just a huge downer in my life.
For those of us dealing with aerosol sensitivity, this is a huge problem. It would be one thing if we could just evaluate risk ahead of time-- but the problem is that you [i]never know[/i] where you will encounter someone eating these days. And sorry-- but there are times when that DOES pose an immediate danger.
As I said, we most frequently DON'T say anything. We've been forced to walk away from many situations where we had paid perfectly good money to attend. We go out of our way to [i]never[/i] inconvenience anyone else because of my daughter's allergies.
My point was simply that we should probably all try to [i]be[/i] the change we would like to see. Just as none of us would ignore a classroom ban on a food our child isn't allergic to. For me, that means no food and drink while I shop.
I make it a point to act (at least I try) in a way that I wish everyone would. Even if it sometimes seems I'm the only one. Actions speak louder than words, Caeser's wife, and all that. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 4:32am
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must speak to this point again...
my dd is milk allergic and peanut allergic. yes, i will occasionally have a latte while shopping. yes, i wipe down the carts (and everything else in the world [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img])
when i bring her out in public. no, i don't think it's being a hypocrite. i would never, ever deem it appropriate to tell a perfect stranger in public what they should and shouldn't eat.
my little girl knows the world is full of dairy and that she must be careful because of her allergy. (she knows about nuts as well, but, let's face it, dairy is so much more prevalent.) i guess it's just OUR approach in OUR circumstance, but dh and i are not going to go dairy-free (however, we are cautious to the point of lunacy in our home) nor do we expect the world to go food-free. it's an unrealistic expectation that will only doom the allergic community to failure when it comes to educating the public.
NO ONE wants to be told what they can and can't eat (let alone, by a perfect stranger). be careful where you tread here. i have NEVER had a difficult time with the public and dd's allergies (and yes, we do inform people of them at her activities, at restaurants, etc.) -- not even once. i've never seen the "eye roll" from someone; i've never "got into it" with someone. patting myself on the back? no. i just believe that it is because i don't look to the general public to take any responsibility for her allergies (if she were in school that would be a different story). it's all on me, all on our family. ultimately, we must take care of ourselves.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 6:39am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Quote:
NO ONE wants to be told what they can and can't eat...
No kidding. But I don't think it is unreasonable to have restrictions on WHERE that activity is inappropriate, if you KWIM.
If I can agree that there are places where using my cell phone or lighting up a cigar is just plain rude and obnoxious (or even dangerous), then I don't see why consuming food and drink needs to be totally an "at will" activity either.
So I don't think it is really out of line for *anyone* to remind another person of [i]posted restrictions[/i] that they are currently violating. Be it eating, cell phone usage, smoking, or letting their dog take a cr@p in the middle of a park.
The ONLY times that I have ever said something to a person I don't even know have been in cases where I literally had no other choice and was in a position where I had to do something to mitigate an immediate danger to my daughter. Those I can count on one hand in SIX years. Easily.
I [i]have[/i] complained in public places which are posted "no food and drink" that those running the place need to enforce it or stop pretending it is policy.
Our reality is that the little things other people do for their convenience have a huge impact on my daughter's quality of life. Sad but true for anyone with severe contact/aerosol sensitivity. We go through quarts of Benadryl.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 7:18am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] No kidding. But I don't think it is unreasonable to have restrictions on WHERE that activity is inappropriate, if you KWIM.
[/b]
i think it IS unreasonable to regulate (and then, let me guess, legislate) whether or not people can eat/drink while they are grocery shopping or doing other normal, everyday activities.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 7:22am
shoshana18's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]
Our reality is that the little things other people do for their convenience have a huge impact on my daughter's quality of life. [/b]
no kidding. ours, too. but i still think it is MY responsibilty to change the situation (which usually means removing ourselves from a potentially dangerous situation), not the other persons. it is MY obligation to deal with dd's allergies, no one else's.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 7:51am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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I recall quite clearly a time in my life when smokers felt that way about being told they should not be lighting up inside public buildings like libraries and grocery stores... or for that matter, buses and airplanes.
They regarded it as [i]their RIGHT[/i] to do so wherever and whenever they pleased. I distinctly recall my father being incensed by those restrictions on his "rights" in a HOSPITAL. (Geeeez...)
Does this notion of where it is "normal" to eat and drink include the local library? A courtroom? The ballet? Public transportation? Museums? What about my allergist's office? Does it extend [i]everywhere[/i] ? Because it seems to me that this boundary of where that socially acceptable line is has really been pushed back over the last two decades.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:03am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]I recall quite clearly a time in my life when smokers felt that way about being told they should not be lighting up inside public buildings like libraries and grocery stores... or for that matter, buses and airplanes.
They regarded it as [i]their RIGHT[/i] to do so wherever and whenever they pleased. I distinctly recall my father being incensed by those restrictions on his "rights" in a HOSPITAL. (Geeeez...)
Does this notion of where it is "normal" to eat and drink include the local library? A courtroom? The ballet? Public transportation? Museums? What about my allergist's office? Does it extend [i]everywhere[/i] ? Because it seems to me that this boundary of where that socially acceptable line is has really been pushed back over the last two decades.
[/b]
as much as i HATE, HATE, HATE, smoking and second hand smoke, i do take issue with legislating all businesses to ban smoking. another issue...
whether or not it is "normal" is not the question. if a business -- library, theater, store, etc. -- chooses to make it their policy that no food is allowed, then people should absolutely abide. the establishment will gain some business because of it (like from all of us) and probably lose some business (from those who must eat at that given moment), but it is the businesses choice. if you allergist's office chooses to allow people to eat in the office, then you need to do whatever you can to make your children safe (as i am certain you do). do i think you should you talk to the allergist about the policy? sure. do i think you should go up to individuals and tell them not to eat? NO WAY (and that was the original question in this post).
my feeling is that if we are in a public place, and there is no policy against eating, then we have to make the decision whether or not it is safe to keep our daughter there. others should not be put under an obligation, whatsoever, unless they are violating a policy.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:13am
ajas_folks's picture
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Corvallis Mom, I can see we may possibly be outnumbered on this. And that we've struck a chord. . . bummer.
I am personally NOT asking any legal entity to legislate or regulate this. Just expecting perhaps, some level of personal responsiblity and possibly [i] moderation [/i] or self-control . . . Or more better stated,
I would prefer to see a return to civility and manners when it comes to eating in public: keep it in the food courts, the fast food seating areas, the movie theatres (not the ballet or symphony), at picnics, and any other venues where it would be truly appropriate. Eat in the car & put your garbage & food scraps INTO THE GARBAGE not out onto the parking lot ground (including the last swallows of beverage that you just HAVE to dump out of the car).
And don't even get me started on [b] [i] chewing gum. [/i] [/b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:19am
ajas_folks's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by shoshana18:
[b]. . . do i think you should go up to individuals and tell them not to eat? NO WAY (and that was the original question in this post).
[/b]
Uh, NO.
THIS was the original question posed, and I quote:
[i] Just curious as to how you would have handled this??? would you have said something? [/i]
For the record.
~Elizabeth

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:22am
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Quote:Originally posted by ajas_folks:
[b] . . . Or more better stated,
I would prefer to see a return to civility and manners when it comes to eating in public: keep it in the food courts, the fast food seating areas, the movie theatres (not the ballet or symphony), at picnics, and any other venues where it would be truly appropriate. Eat in the car & put your garbage & food scraps INTO THE GARBAGE not out onto the parking lot ground (including the last swallows of beverage that you just HAVE to dump out of the car).
And don't even get me started on [b] [i] chewing gum. [/i] [/b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
~Elizabeth
elizabeth,
i totally agree with you (oh my, it could be a first [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]). i would LOVE to see that too. a return to civility, in so many ways, would be a wonderful thing. i just don't think approaching a stranger about what they are eating is a good idea, that's all.
don't get me wrong -- i can just start fuming over all of the people eating peanuts, snickers bars, M&Ms, etc. at our local library; i'm exasperated that when i went to Old Navy and put my dd (when she was a baby) in a cart, she immediately broke out in hives because, most likely, some child was eating in the store prior to this...and i could go on and on. do i get mad? da*n straight i do! but i can't abandon my basic belief system (in personal responibility) because i got dealt this hand (of food allergies).
anyway, just wanted to clarify...
[/b]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:25am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Thanks for clarifying... I happen to agree, though I would add that a lot of places historically haven't been confronted with people thinking that it [i]was okay to eat there.[/i] KWIM? Social acceptance shifted on them. Thirty years ago, no library needed to impose posted policy on the matter (outside of universities, where grad students have always sneaked coffee into the stacks [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )... now people assume some pretty outrageous things about what is okay personal behavior. Let's face it-- just because it isn't specifically prohibited doesn't make it okay!!
I mean, there isn't a sign at the library that says I can't mix myself a scotch and soda during preschool story time, either. The grocery store doesn't have a sign that says "No farm animals allowed" either. There is nothing to prevent me from wearing lingerie to a parent-teacher conference as far as I know... but none of these are (at the moment, anyway...) socially acceptable. YET. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
As an amusing aside here, my FIL to this day maintains that [i]'They've never proven that second-hand smoke ever hurt ANYONE.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] Unbelievable.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:31am
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]Thanks for clarifying... I happen to agree, though I would add that a lot of places historically haven't been confronted with people thinking that it [i]was okay to eat there.[/i] KWIM? Social acceptance shifted on them. Thirty years ago, no library needed to impose posted policy on the matter (outside of universities, where grad students have always sneaked coffee into the stacks [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )... now people assume some pretty outrageous things about what is okay personal behavior. Let's face it-- just because it isn't specifically prohibited doesn't make it okay!!
I mean, there isn't a sign at the library that says I can't mix myself a scotch and soda during preschool story time, either. The grocery store doesn't have a sign that says "No farm animals allowed" either. There is nothing to prevent me from wearing lingerie to a parent-teacher conference as far as I know... but none of these are (at the moment, anyway...) socially acceptable. YET. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
As an amusing aside here, my FIL to this day maintains that [i]'They've never proven that second-hand smoke ever hurt ANYONE.[/i] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] Unbelievable. [/b]
believe it or not, my library actually has vending machines!!!! full of soda, candy bars, bags of peanuts, peanut butter crackers, etc. needless to say, i never bring dd there -- i just pick up books by myself. and needless to say, it is one more reason i can't wait to move out of arizona!

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:32am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Quote:
I would prefer to see a return to civility and manners when it comes to eating in public: keep it in the food courts, the fast food seating areas, the movie theatres (not the ballet or symphony), at picnics, and any other venues where it would be truly appropriate. Eat in the car & put your garbage & food scraps INTO THE GARBAGE not out onto the parking lot ground (including the last swallows of beverage that you just HAVE to dump out of the car).
And don't even get me started on chewing gum.
HEAR HEAR!!! (Wild applause!!!)
Personally, I would feel that way with or without food allergies. I find the idea of food-smeared people of any age pawing at clothing I might be trying on to just be revolting.
Though I, too, almost NEVER say anything. For the same reasons that Shoshana doesn't, incidentally. But I refuse to give in and behave just like them. (Just as I don't laugh at inappropriate jokes, even if I don't say anything.) And hey, holding off on that scotch and soda during storytime was occasionally a real sacrifice. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] And I have [i]always[/i] wanted to take a llama with me to get produce. I think it would be fun.
Be the change you seek. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited October 27, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:37am
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corvallis mom,
i'm thinking...bloody mary! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
tomato juice in a cup? no one would be the wiser...
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 8:43am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Pina colada.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 10:13am
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I do speak up on occasion if a person dealing with the public (i.e. cashier) is eating nuts on the job . . . I don't all the time, but sometimes I do.
I have approached people eating peanuts and/or nuts and or donuts in study areas in the library where no food is allowed. I leave carrot-stick munchers and coffee drinkers be, however [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 1:22pm
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Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] Never mind all of the ignoramuses in the world who shall continue to slurp down frappucinos til they pop.... I should know better.
[/b]
I [i]hate[/i] people who chew ice. I give them the [i]evil eye[/i].
It's the single most repulsive thing I've ever encountered.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 1:31pm
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Quote:Originally posted by patsmommy:
[b] I am shamed. With the DD in one of the local supermarkets i have to admit once in awhile I do get a cup of coffe to drink while shopping. Don't I feel like a hypocrite. Shamed seriously. [/b]
awwwwwwwwwww. [i]we love you[/i]. Seriously. I grab that little mini cup of joe from the machine in our store too. (it's free). I just don't use the creamer and sugar (gross--gross-gross). I only grab a bakery sample if my cubs aren't with me, and it's [i]new and fresh[/i].
But never, never, NEVER chew ice around me.
Seriously. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2006 - 1:34pm
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Quote:Originally posted by happycat:
[b]
Obesity epidemic aside, [/b]
we're gonna need more electric carts. . .

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 4:23am
happycat's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] we're gonna need more electric carts. . .
[/b]
... with double-wide seats.
All the better to bring the groceries home in, my dear.

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 5:22am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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ROFLMAO!!!! (My lard A**, that is...)
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 6:24am
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] I [i]hate[/i] people who chew ice. I give them the [i]evil eye[/i].
It's the single most repulsive thing I've ever encountered. [/b]
Guilty.
But can't be the [i][b]single most[/i][/b] respulsive thing. I can think of lots more. Like smacking bubble gum is [i]much, much worse.[/i]

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 6:31am
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I'm going to go with Corvallis Mom on this one (as if I didn't for so many things). As a society we [b]have[/b] pushed the limits way too far out there for eating in public. Way.
I have said and will continue to say something to people who are affecting my DS. These situations are typically in theatres where we've paid dearly for our seats, and people really, really, really should not be snacking. Goodness. DS had an airborne reaction at a ballet performance, and I turned around and gave the peanut M&M mucher the evil eye. I also tried to buy up all the peanut M&Ms before the next performance (DS was in the 1st act of this performance).
When people are really not supposed to be eating and there are signs asking them not to and their eating peanut products interferes with our intended purpose, there eating get trumped. Sorry.
Now, at places like the rodeo or the circus when we try to go, we just expect to move. We don't expect people to not eat peanuts because we're there. We wipe off the seats (and the backs, too--they're yucky with peanut), take a cover for the seat, dose DS up, he wears long sleeves--and we know we'll have to move a few times. But we tend to pick nosebleed seats for those occasions so we have more freedom.
At Target I probably wouldn't say something. But if the cashier in my line were snacking on peanuts, you better bet I'd move to another line, and I'd say why. They need to be aware of these things, and folks aren't going to think of it on their own.

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 12:49pm
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Quote:Originally posted by McCobbre:
But can't be the [i][b]single most[/i][/b] respulsive thing. I can think of lots more. Like smacking bubble gum is [i]much, much worse.[/i]
no, [i]cracking[/i] gum is. It's just so [i]deliberate[/i].
Anywhoo. People aught learn that if it's moist, and entering or leaving a body cavity, it should be done in [i]private[/i], or at least not audible. don't get me started on people who snap their fingernails.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 28, 2006).]

Posted on: Sat, 10/28/2006 - 11:27pm
McCobbre's picture
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Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b] no, [i]cracking[/i] gum is. It's just so [i]deliberate[/i].
Anywhoo. People aught learn that if it's moist, and entering or leaving a body cavity, it should be done in [i]private[/i], or at least not audible. don't get me started on people who snap their fingernails.
[/b]
Ew, ew, ew. Yes. And people who [i]clip their fingernails[/i] in public. That's horrendous. When I hear that little [i]clip[/i] sound, I almost throw up. I knew someone who did it in (yes) meetings (wasn't in one I called). The limits are too far out there indeed.
[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited October 29, 2006).]

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