A brief pause.....

Dear Mrs. Special Education Services Director:

Your followup is appreciated. Thank you for arranging it.

November 14 is fine to reconvene the IEP team. I'd prefer the Superintendent be present.

Yesterday, I spoke with Mr. Principal regarding a concern I have addressed with you previously. On several occassions, during which I had an opportunity to meet with certain staff in person, and during the school day, and while same certain staff were working directly with my 11 year old son, I have noticed, quite uncomfortably, that same certain staff were wearing clothing that was not in compliance with the <>> dress code as I received last year at <<>>. I'm assuming off-the-shoulder blouses and clothing items that allow for chest undergarments and what appears to be bra straps (either clear plastic or colored) to be in full view on the shoulder, back and chest, are not considered "professional dress" or in conformity with the dress code. You have informed me, lack professional dress/non-compliance with the dress code) it was an "ongoing problem" at <<>>. You are correct.

Mr. Principal informed me yesterday over the phone, that he had indeed, approximately three weeks ago, had opportunity to witness this himself and address the issue and in particular, with same certain staff. And yes, it appears to be an ongoing problem despite his attempts at redirection and/or asserting the dress code. Or at least it had occurred again as it was the case when I was present at school October 31 this week. I brought it to the attention of <>>. I've asked for discretion and confidentiality in handling this concern, as my son is quite literally, [i]in the middle[/i].

What promted my call.....about a week ago, my son had come to me on his own, ( when I spoke with you initially regarding this concern), and confirmed to me that this is making him feel [i]uncomfortable[/i].

I had hoped he wasn't feeling as uncomfortable as I had been when only chancing upon it during a brief encounter.. I had quite sheepishly, and a mistake on my part, hoped he was [i]oblivious[/i].

Apparently, [b]he's not[/b].

No surprise.

Some of the exact words he used to describe the apparent conflict he was having: [i]"I thought she was going to be older."[/i] He's never made an issue of the age someone appears to be, but I guess this is his best attempt, having a communication disability, namely Autism/Asperger's, to describe something that should, as it did for me, be a cause for [i]concern[/i]. The fact he actually put it into words says a great deal about the level of anxiety this is causing him. He is not one to be critical.

During a brief meeting with <<>>after school October 31, and during which I was also present, he expressed, using the same words, this same discomfort.

His response to a situation he currently finds himself inextricably bound to, unable to distance himself, merely since he is, in a sense, connected to this person throughout the day, and [i]unavoidably so[/i]------------[b]completely normal[/b], considering. But something that cannot continue as it is. It would not be appropriate to allow it to. It would be [i]negligent[/i].

It is distressful for him. At age 11, (despite being 145 lbs and 5' 8" at recent physician visit), I thought possibly, I might encounter this problem (dress code violations) among peers, but it had never occurred to me I'd be communicating a similiar concern related to staff charged with the care, possibly instruction, safety, and emotional development of him. [i]Role models.[/i]

Notes home in his communication folder question me as to why he might be becomming increasingly distressed and quote "frustrated" at school. From certain individuals.

I think this is where we should insert a brief pause.....

You had indicated to me at the end of that conversation, and in light of some other concerns, that sometimes a pairing might not be [i]a good match[/i]. I'm thinking this is the case. Please advise, as I'm no longer feeling as sheepish. I'm concerned. And I've taken the time to make those first in the chain of command aware.

Sincerly,

Mrs. Growling, Poised, MommaBear.

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Edit to add, I'm waiting to send aforementioned email when my child arrives home. Any suggestions would be helpful. I'm genuinely listening.

[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited November 02, 2006).]