I am not sure how to handle this situation with dd. I have certain guidelines with the teacher that we check all boxes before snacks are given(and there is always a dedicated safe option available when in doubt). This is something we try to be flexible about, checking something not on our regular list and okaying it if we are comfortable. There has been one instance, which was addressed and I was satisfied with the teacher's handling of it. She had checked the label herself and found it safe and given it to dd(a brand we do not use). She apologized and said she would not do it again and was very nice about it, as was I.
So, I do ask dd what she has for a snack most days, and a couple of times we go through this whole thing in the car after she tells me she had something and I do not recognize it. Today it was "letter Cheerios", which I assume to be Alphabits, which we do not know anything about. I would not ok it if asked. Dh dropped off and usually will say, "call my wife" or "no" if in doubt.
After the whole thing of me lecturing her to always ask if it is safe if it is a new thing or to have the safe choice(and a plan for me to call tht teacher) she then says she did not have these! She had another cereal we did okay(I think the rest of the class had the other). So, I do not know what to believe or what to do! I hate to check up on the teacher to her face each day, as she is very nice and we do have a good working relationship, but this is a dangerous prank my dd is pulling. She said after, "I was just joking." I did tell her this was not a thing to joke about and she really needs to not do this anymore.
Anyone go through this or have suggestions? I could explain the predicament to the teacher and just aske her each day what the snack is, but I really think the issue is a home issue, with my dd having a spell of trying out telling lies and stories for shock value. It could be about anything, but she knows this will press my buttons. I have tried not to make a huge deal of it, since she is fine and I do not want to give her the drama reaction I suspect she is seeking. Thanks, becca
[This message has been edited by becca (edited March 22, 2004).]
Hi Becca,
At our preschool, we have a sheet tacked up on the refrigerator. The parent of a child with severe allergies date an initial the sheet each day to ok the snack for that day after reading the ingredients. At some point before snack, the teacher checks the list and initials it too.
There are multiple children with allergies at this preschool and the drop off time is hectic, so this was seen as best for everyone. This way the teacher can check the list when she has a moment. It's very clear if the parents have approved the snack or not (if not, the child has a box of back up snacks). Everything is documented. The children and other parents aren't impacted in any way.
It's something extra to do, but doesn't take much time and eliminates the possibility of misunderstanding.
I think another preschool in town does something similar.
Do you think this could work at your school?
T.
Becca,
I don't think your teacher should get upset about you double checking on this. i had an incident with my 6 year old dd this year. She told me that someone sitting next to her at snack had peanut butter cookies and that she told the teacher and the teacher said don't worry about it. Upon further questioning, she changed her tune and said thay probably weren't pb cookies after all.
Last week she also told me that her teacher brought in cookies with M&M's in them to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. She said the teacher said, " Oh, I forgot you can't have these. " Then, she gave her a safe snack. I haven't looked into this, but may casually mention it when I see her again. I feel like she knows better than to give the whole class a treat like this. She has been very good with following our wishes. If it turns out to be true, I will be upset.
I think I would just address this with your daughter for now. Then maybe you can casually mention it to the teacher. And, i always tell my daughter not to eat anything unless it is something that her father or I have told her was ok.
Hi Becca, our preschool is fairly small. There are 14 kids there with my ds. Each parent takes turns with the snack. I stay around each day to see what the snack is. Then I approach the teacher & say he can have, can't have. etc.
I have safe snacks they let me store there, so I just pull out what he can have & make sure I tell her each time.
I don't think anything would be a bother to the teacher as they would rather be safe than sorry. One day my ds was upset because it was a safe snack & teacher would not give him any(he had a substitute).
I feel more comfortable checking each & every thing, then I can enjoy my 2 whole hours off!! LOL
Your teacher sounds very nice & would probably not be bothered with any concerns or ways to work something else out. I have never caught my ds lying about snacks yet, but sometimes I really don't believe anything he tells me that happens at school.
It's really hard to leave them out of our sight at such a young age especially with severe allergies. I know I haven't helped here at all, but wanted you to know I understand. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Linda
Tando, your idea sounds good, but I just have a hard time getting them to change things at this school. They are already nut free for us and do other things. I really do not want to rock the boat.
I would like to hope the issue is with dd, because then I know the teacher gave her a safe snack, but there is a seed of doubt. But again, with this issue, it would be best if I simply provide all snacks for dd, maybe as a consequence for her telling me inconsistent answers.
I have tried to ask her a few times what the truth is about what she had and I am ready to blow my lid, really. She keeps changing her answer! I am trying to be cool, so as not to have this become a bigger issue about her telling me what she eats. I tried expalining, but she is too young to get it, I think. She is a bit tough to connect with on explaining things more than very simply. Very literal.
I will have to ask the teacher since I have no idea what she really had and one of the answers she gives me is an unnapproved item. ugh.
Hope this is not a sign of things to come with worse issues about this sort of thing. becca
Hi Becca,
You're post made me smile. It's rare for either DS to tell me about a snack in any detail. In some ways I like that food's not a priority, but it does have drawbacks...
I see what you mean about changes in a school. One thing I didn't include in my post that someone else's reminded me of is that I make sure to tell DS that the snack is OK. Are you comfortable with your DD following this rule?
I think all this is just a lot for kids this age to deal with, so you're instinct to keep things simple is a good one.
You and DD have a lot going on in your life right now and if it will make things less stressful to have DD only eat the snacks that you send and DD doesn't care, why not?
T.
Ugh! I think I got to the bottom of it. If these teachers only knew the stress this food crap causes. It seems like it was Lucky Charms, something the teacher very specifically called me about at home when she was going to be out sick the next day! This is why I was so distraught at the thought of her not asking me and giving something to dd, because she has been so diligent since one small error.
I had asked the sub if I could check the label, and she said they were going to actually have grapes, and she knew nothing about the cereal. So, I never did check, and was glad about the grapes anyway.
So, when I casually asked dd today, and she said "alphabet cheerios", I was thinking immediately of Alpha-Bits cereal and began to go into panic mode.
Somehow I pulled up a picture of Lucky Charms after looking to see if there were a Cheerios that was letters, and recalled that we had discussed the Lucky Charms. The teacher would have no way to know I never really checked(the sub was weird about the whole thing, but I did not care as long as I knew what dd was eating). I showed dd the picture and she said "those are the alphabets and I ate a rainbow". Mystery solved.
It had been very hard because I do not always drop dd since having the baby. Dh does it for me sometimes and today becasue I was just dog-tired.
I did tell myself only snacks from home this year, then after meeting the teacher, allowed her to talk me into the list and then checking. There is always a rock solid safe snack for her and the other child with allergies. It has been very good this year, after one small mistake which proved to olny imrpove the communication, really. But the school really does not understand how difficult little things like this afternoon can be for us. I should share the story with the director as a humerous feedback and maybe they will rethink their plans. They just use so much food and I never realized until we were in the program(it never occurred to me having no experience with children in school). Then we had formed the relationships and they were peanut free, so that helped.
Ahhh. So, we will run it by the teacher with a chuckle now, but I am pretty sure it was the Lucky Charms and the teacher would have thought I checked(and I was pretty comfortable with them anyway). becca
[This message has been edited by becca (edited March 22, 2004).]
Our system is very simple.
We have a 4 year peanut allergic (+ egg, tree, soy, ...) son in full day daycare for 3 days per week.
He is to get *NOTHING* other than food we provide. We write our name in big letters on the outside of the box. If it doesn't have our name on it then he doesn't get it unless we get a phone call and agree. We have a special bag of "special" snacks for parties.
We also have his picture posted on a cute memo to the staff listing what his allergies are, how he starts to react if he ate something and to call 911 before calling us.
[b]Make things as crystal clear as possible.[/b]
The caregivers like it because it takes the guesswork out of it.
I drop in during lunch break every once in a while to make sure his placement at the lunch table is ok.
I always introduce myself to new staff as the 'Father of the food allergic kid", and explain the allergic situation to them.
You don't want DayCare/Preschool teachers reading labels. Their job is much too hard as it is.
Our allergist has even offered to drop by the school and give a little training session talk to the staff.
You have to be vocal and leave nothing to chance.
We've been doing this for a few years and we've had no slip ups (that we know about) (knock wood).
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Pete Ferraro
[url="http://www.FerraroFamily.org"]http://www.FerraroFamily.org[/url]
becca, when my ds was in pre-k we had to go a step further than Pete, and say ONLY what we sent in, no matter what. We eventually had to pull him out because the teacher just didnt get it, but she got a little too liberal, if we okayed it once, next time she just gave it to him. Tried to explain labels change, etc. She sent him home once with a treat bag with p.b. filled candy.
I think for us we had to make it clear that she was not to give him anything at all, or she overstepped. I do agree with Pete about their job being hard enough, and nobody checks things out like we do. Good luck.
Well, now that I have figured out what she did have, the teacher has followed the rules. She is very good. She *did* call me, and I assured her I would check the label, and checked out the product here. So, I actually dropped the ball by not letting her know that the sub did not know about the cereal, there fore, I did not check the label.
Our rules are crystal clear. Dd only gets the approved snack, unless we discuss anything else. I am always consulted for parties and any alternative snack. I had thought there was a breakdown because dd told me conflicting things. I am having an issue with dd, not the teacher, I now know for sure.
That is my bigger concern, now. It seems dd is trying to press some buttons on the food issue. becca
When I mentioned that have a form at school with my son's picture and instructions, here is what I used as a model:
[url="http://www.foodallergy.org/actionplan.pdf"]http://www.foodallergy.org/actionplan.pdf[/url]
All I did was dress it up a little.
IMHO, if you have a PA kid in any kind of school or daycare setting, an action plan is as (if not more) important as a medic alert braclet.
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Pete Ferraro
[url="http://www.FerraroFamily.org"]http://www.FerraroFamily.org[/url]
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