Aid?

Hello, My dd is going into 1st grade in Sept. 04. Middle country school distr. in Long Island, NY. Last year at the public school pre-k it was nothing but a horror. I would be writing for hours and pages if I were to sit here and write all details of all the stories that happened to her and I. Short story - "we are not taking nuts out of her class" "if there is a party and someone brings in a nut product she can sit to the side" I was yelled at by the teacher in front of a class of 4 yr. olds. How I was able to handle myself as a mature adult was only for the children. I was lied to by the teacher that the next party VALENTINES DAY (a nightmare in itself) that any nut products would be put to the side and only distributed to the children in there goody bags to take home with them on there way out at end of party. I was grateful and allowed my beautiful baby doll to not only know about the party but tell her she was going (mistake) I was so excited to be acting like a regular Mom and child.

When I got to the party I asked to help them sort the products (tons of bags of candy, grocery store bought trays of BAKERY COOKIES, chocolate galore...) The teacher put her arm around my shoulder started walking me out the classroom door telling me "Oh it's O.K. Mrs. _____ (not sure if I'm supposed to write names on the BB) we'll look out for ___. Well I got such a strong terribly frightening feeling, I litterally turned under her arm and said "Oh it's O.K. and started reading. 90% of the stuff was contained or may contain so I had this huge pile of no good. (by the way,tons of good stuff all the kids were probably going to throw-up if they ate it all) Teacher tells me they can't remove all these products. I said but you told me blah blah
and she said she never said that. I told her very nicely she's going to have to call the principle because my daughter cannot play with guns and she surely cannot stay here as it would be the same, and she is all excited about the party. If you cannot make this decision maybe he can. I stayed way in the background not to disturb the children with my presence waiting for the principle. When he arrived he told me that I need to leave the building I was shocked. I had to take Nicolette and he escorted us out of the building. She was upset I was upset. She actually handled it like a real gosh darn trooper thow I have to admit. (no support at home at all).

Kindergarden was at the same school I couln't do it bad problems in marriage over this. Long story short I found a private little school and that is where she went for kindergarden. Excellent year. It was great.

I'm getting panicky now 1st grade starts in Sept. and new school is same district. New Superintendent. I went to him then principle the principle mentioned her eating alone for lunch I don't know really how I kept from screaming or breaking down like a baby NOT AGAIN!! I very calmly said Gee I don't think that would be to good for her mentally or socially. I suggested a half a table nut free? He suggested a seperate table. I said we could possibly work on that I just don't want her to be alone or at some 2 chair table (like they offered us for her in the kindergarden bldg.) looking totally rediculous and different - where it may cause other problems for her with other children.

He said he wants to know if I agree with him that dd has a disibility with her health not learning and I said I'm really not sure I guess it might be considered that. (was I an idiot?) So then he said he would like to under special ed get her an aid. I guess I was nervous and said I guess so. (idiot) also no hot lunches because they cannot make sure that there will be no contamination from the p/j sand. I asked if I could supply them with a microwave so she could have hot lunches from home. He said yes that could be arranged.

Is the aid thing a good thing? To me yes and no. I'm very confused because I went to 2 elementary schools in Sachem School Distr., Gatelot and Cayuga. What a grip they have on this nut allergy in children. This is where my dd has to go. The nurse in one school has walkie talkies with the teachers of the children with p/treenut allergies. Demands from parents No nut products will be allowed in these classes. By next year she's working on getting the p/j changed to cheese sand. for the kids getting free lunch or forget there money. Demands two epi-pens at the school, one for nurse ane to be with teacher. In depth education yearly for all employees by her.

And my baby has to go to these ignorant people who when you go to the school to introduce yourself and find out what there policy is they want to know what would you suggest. Great! I went to these other 2 schools and I didn't even speak much because both seperate nurses went on telling me what they do. Both schools I ended up leaving feeling so bullied that my baby has to go somewhere I don't want her to go this is killing me. I am so scared.

I want to move. I have problems in my marriage. We go to counseling. Since I've gotten some support. Let's put it this way I wish I had the support at home from my H like you hear the concern from the males on this BB. It amazed me isn't that messed up. But no time for that.

I want to know if you think this aid thing sounds kosher? Threw special ed? Get a 504 right off the bat right? Does a 504 get signed by all? I definetely want to move to Sachem sd. But we are booked for bathroom remodel end of June. Then some floor work and house could go up for sale for all I care. But dd may have to go for a while to this district.

It's not fair she cannot go there anyway. Didn't we all have the right as parents to choose the babysitter or pre-k or video we thought would be best suitable for them?

Thanks for listening, stay safe

P.s. Imagine I tried to make this as short as possible ha ha, and there's so much left out.