If I could beg......................

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 8:24am
williamsmummy's picture
Joined: 03/26/2002 - 09:00

If I could plead , and fall to knees and beg ,
if reason and hope were always clear ,
and never lost,
I would never have to dream as I do now, and not see his skin and bones so visable with every sigh,
never trace with mother- love -filled finger the pattern of blue tinged veins through milk white skin.
Not count the mouthfuls that are never eaten,...... to watch him sleep when others play,..... to watch him cry when others still have energy to laugh.
Not to fail where other mothers succeed,
If I could beg,
I would,
just one meal william, just one and mummy wont cry.

I guess that today things have really are on top of me, William is going to have blood test for iron levels, and he did not want any more needles ( we have recently been to the allergy clinic) , he is on the 9th centiles for weight and on the 25 for height. People are commenting on his weight and how pale he is, and I can see for myself that things are going down hill. I am sure its because allergy is once again taking more of our energies, (we think he is reacting to cooked egg again) .One of my other sons needs some individual attention and is clearly suffering when williams needs have dominated our family again.
I feel that I have been fighting this particular battle for so long now and just when things start to look better , he goes down hill at this time of year again.
At times like this I do try to find something to laugh at, it normaly works......perhaps I should put this moment of weakness to PMT,lack of chocolate, or simple self pity.
But perhaps in this strange allergy filled world here there are other mothers like me , who have children like my unusual son.

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 8:37am
smack's picture
Joined: 11/14/2001 - 09:00

Oh Sarah,
I do hope Will gets through this and thrives!
I really hope it's iron...something fixable.
You feel free to pour your heart out, that's a very trying thing your going through.
Big hug to you Sarah!

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 8:50am
arachide's picture
Joined: 08/16/2000 - 09:00

Sending positive energy your way Sarah...

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 9:02am
synthia's picture
Joined: 10/05/2002 - 09:00

Hang in there sarah
You can do this.
You are STRONG,I know there are times you don't think you are.
God has only givin us what he knows we can handle.
My heart goes out to you and your family
William is in my prayers.
I to have a little boy that is in the 10 %
I know how you feel,when you need to I to will cry with you.
Love this site

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 9:45am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Sending love and hugs your way (for you and your family, Sarah)
I just know that someday soon you and William will finally turn the corner and never look back. (I just *know*... you have to finish paying your dues at some point, yes?) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Until that day, cry in the shower (works for me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ), have a chocolate and then do what you always do and give your family all the love in the world.

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 9:58am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Sarah, you have been the most amazing support for the folks here - I wish there was a way we could repay that support with some real, concrete help for you and William. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
I'm glad to hear the doctors are taking this seriously and are checking his iron. My son was anemic last fall and once his blood levels stabilized the difference in him was like night and day. I was so worried about him... it's gutwrenching to have to live with that day after day. I'm so sorry, Sarah - I know treadmills can be so exhausting. Do you feel like e-mailing me your address so Cayley can send William a drawing to try to cheer him up? I'm at [email]"lonegunmom@hotmail.com"[/email] and Cayley and I would love to hear from you. She's beside me reading this message. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Do they make red wine-filled chocolates? That would be just what this cyber-doctor orders for you. Take 2 whenever necessary. Hugs to you.

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 10:58am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

So sorry to hear how things are going.
I'm sending "robust" vibes out to you and William.
Amy (who concurs with Dr. Cayley's Mom about the chocolate)

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 11:00am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

So sorry to hear how things are going.
I'm sending "robust" vibes out to you and William.
Amy (who concurs with Dr. Cayley's Mom about the chocolate)

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 11:39am
Peg541's picture
Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Sarah my heart goes out to you and your sweet son. I send your doctors all my strength and prayers to find what can help him.

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 1:07pm
kcmom's picture
Joined: 12/18/2001 - 09:00

I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better! So many times I come to this board and read your posts and they make me laugh out loud! I wish I could do that for you now!
Hang in there sister, my prayers are with you and your family! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 03/12/2003 - 1:11pm
helenmc's picture
Joined: 05/01/2002 - 09:00

Hey Sarah and William (and the rest of your family),
We're thinking of you from down here. We hope the world looks a bit better tomorrow.
Best wishes & hugs,
Helen and Geoff


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