erik, thank-you for asking [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Things are no better this week at all and my head is about ready to explode. So, the E.A. is training the parent volunteer how to check the lunches and I'm there to help them. To-day, whose child has two, very clearly labeled "may contain" items - the parent volunteer's child. We just kinda laughed it off, she said her DH packed the lunch.
I had a woman approach me and ask if I was Mrs. Cook in a tone that I kinda didn't feel okay about and quite frankly was afraid to answer. She said that her family buys ALL of their food at the bulk food store and she has noticed that there are notices on all of the food saying "may contain trace peanuts".
I usually welcome the opportunity for questions or comments from parents, but I am so upset by this whole thing being played out each morning that I could scream. She asked me if the bulk food stuff was okay. I said that if it was labeled "may contain" (which she says it is) then it is not okay to bring into the peanut free classroom, that it has a 1 in 5 chance of actually containing a peanut product and it's like playing Russian Roulette in the classroom (trouble is, I don't know if everyone knows what playing Russian Roulette is).
The E.A. then started fumbling around with words telling the woman she didn't have to worry about it because her child wasn't in the class, but yes, he was.
So, we pull out all of the unsafe (i.e., may contain, no blatant peanut products) and have to replace them with snacks from the breakfast program. As co-ordinator of the breakfast program I'm able to say, okay, grab this and give it to them for snack. I send children out of the breakfast program each morning with snacks.
However, as the co-ordinator, and nothing to do with PA (it is a peanut free breakfast program), I am a bit irritated that the food for the breakfast and snack program is having to be used to replace unsafe snacks that should never have been allowed in the classroom in the first place, and certainly not three months later. Tuesday last week I went in to find my whole yoghurt supply gone.
So. I get home this morning and again I'm tired but I'm also getting really angry because I can feel the backlash already, in little things like parents not talking to me the same. I checked Jesse's school plan (thank-you Peanut Trace [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] ) and yes, it does definitely say that no "may contains" are allowed in the classroom.
I e-mailed the teacher with a copy of the school plan and copied the principal and the board superintendent. I am extremely angry and upset by this. I told her that it is quite obvious that snacks have NEVER been checked in her classroom and that she had placed my child at risk. I also asked her how she would like to deal with the backlash that I am already beginning to feel and could potentially affect Jesse. I'm waiting for a response.
I also copy my best friend, another PA parent, when I send stuff to the school and she can't understand why the teacher isn't getting it and she thinks I should demand another meeting with the teacher and principal so that she does get it. I think I'll wait for a response to the e-mail.
This is all terribly upsetting to me as I try to work with people at the school and hopefully in the school community to get the breakfast program up and running.
I already dislike Jesse's teacher for reasons other than her dealing with his PA (or not dealing with it) and this simply compounds things for me.
We did walk past the closest other school tonight and I will plan to call this week (someone, please remind me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] ) to see what their policy re PA is like if they have one or if they have more PA students.
Then, the food that is unsafe is simply being sent home with the children and they're being verbally told that it is not safe for the classroom. You have bewildered looking parents outside of the classroom each night now. The one Mom whose daughter is friend's with Jesse, she asked me about the rice krispie square and I told her that I appreciated all of the label reading she was doing but that that particular item, even though it looks really clearly labeled, isn't. Well, she just bought another box, so you can imagine she's not too pleased, just as I bloody wouldn't be.
I went on to explain that it was the teacher's fault, that Jesse's written school plan had not been followed for the past three months. But does that really help us move easily through the school? No.
I feel angry and upset and want to leave the school. I hate having to physically go in every morning for lack of volunteers and serve breakfast in the breakfast program (I am a mean woman, I know [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] ). I hate having to be on patrol as the Food Nazi.
I probably have felt this way sometime in the past with school with Jess, but I guess I just thought that perhaps things would get easier as he got older. I guess I always assumed that teachers would "get it" since they always have. I was probably ready or prepared for any difficulties with a principal since I've already experienced that, but I just never thought you could have a teacher from He**.
Again, as I told my best friend tonight via e-mail, if there is any lesson to be learned and hopefully other members here will learn it, make sure your child's school plan is being adhered to right away at the school, don't wait three months to find out it hasn't been because all he** will break loose and it's you and possibly your PA child that will suffer. No one else.
I did do the spot check once with the teacher but I don't know what has happened because even on that day and that would have been September month, we were not pulling out as many unsafe snacks as we are on a daily basis now.
I just feel really sad basically. Sad that the *real* world doesn't seem to be able to accommodate us as easily as I would like to have thought it could be done (heck, I've been living peanut/tree nut free for years now and our family does seem to survive). I know that when I was fighting in our previous town, another member (and good friend) told me that I was going to have to be the trailblazer of sorts because Jesse was the only PA child in the school.
So I was. And I do feel I got things accomplished there. But you know what? I'm tired now and I'd just kinda like to kick back and let my son go to school and not have to worry just like every other parent sending their non-PA child off to school. Do you know what I mean?
I know I've just done the big whine and you'll please excuse me. I will continue to fight for the *rights* of my son for as long as I can. But I also exercise the right to feel tired somewhere along the way..... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
Many thanks and best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------

erik, hello! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] The No Name rice krispie squares are what we have the problem with. Yes, they are labeled well so any non-PA parent purchasing them would think that they are buying safe products. However, after my telephone conversation with Loblaw's again last week, Loblaw's No Name and President's Choice are still off limits.
They have the bloody policy that you have to call with the UPC from any No Name product and only then can the CSR tell you if the product is safe or not, regardless of labeling, dependent on who they farmed the manufacturing of the product out to. That's why we've never been able to buy Loblaw's No Name and also why I was so pleased to hear that A&P's Equality brands are labeled properly (I'll have to re-raise that thread to see exactly what they said, but I know it was positive in comparison to Loblaw's).
This morning was interesting. The E.A. the normally helps me with the breakfast program on Monday and Tuesdays for ten minutes came in this morning and said that she couldn't, she had stuff to do in Jesse's classroom (she normally works all both days in Jesse's classroom, but is not the E.A. that has anything to do with food checking). So, she left me and I really didn't think anything of it and probably shouldn't.
But then, when I went to help the parent volunteer and the other E.A. check the lunches/snacks, the E.A. (different one than last paragraph) told me it was okay, I didn't need to stay and help this morning.
I was quite relieved but after what's going on I also have to say I'm a bit suspicious.
I'm not clear if I said something in my e-mail to the teacher yesterday about not feeling comfortable checking snacks (I'll have to re-read that e-mail).
So, I lost some help and I didn't have to help. Curious.
The friend of Jesse's had a note to the teacher from her Mother explaining the no name rice krispie squares to the teacher and how she had them for another two weeks but then would have fruits or vegetables. It was very nicely worded and she said it was because she hadn't received notice about the product being unsafe until she had already purchased more.
I can't begin to explain how I feel for non-PA parents in this situation. I feel like calling her and saying that I'll replace the no name rice krispie squares for her, but I can't afford to. I just really feel for any parent that has gone to the trouble of label reading (and I have seen those that haven't recently either) and they do feel badly when they feel they've done their best.
They have!
Normally, we send home a thank-you letter at the end of the school year but I'm wondering if I should send something home with Christmas cards this year, just so that people will really know how much I do appreciate what they do every time they shop.
I understand how difficult it is. I understand how much more difficult it probably is if you're not dealing with PA at all but are just placed in the position because your child is in a peanut free classroom. I really feel for these parents.
On the other hand, even though "may contain trace peanuts" seems to be everywhere, I feel badly for those of us who have children who are anaphylactic to more common (or what I think are more common) ingredients like milk and eggs and how the parent there must suffer greatly trying to ensure their child's relative safety in school. We've all heard of peanut free classrooms, but what about milk free? Is there such a thing? Does a child anaphylactic to milk have the same rights as my son does because he's anaphylactic to peanuts? Obviously, something I *should* raise outside of this thread.
I spoke with a Grandmother about a month ago who had a grandchild that was anaphylactic to milk. I told her I couldn't imagine the difficulties involved with that. I truly can't. Or eggs. I can't. I am thankful that I don't have to endure those difficulties and when I complain here, I do not mean to belittle others' difficulties at all.
erik, I'm still waiting for a response from the teacher and/or the principal (or even superintendent). I would prefer not to have to switch schools (but will also remind myself to call the other school re it's policy) mid year, only because I feel the kids have moved around enough already in their wee lives. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] We know that we may be moving again if the house sells (on the other hand, landlord said last night if he can get the other place rented, he'll take the house off the market - any renters out there? Actually, anyone looking for an investment property out there? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] ) and that may mean a change in schools again regardless.
The other thing I gain hope from are PA parents such as rilira, who posted about the he** she went through last year with her daughter's teacher but this year things are good. So, if you think that you are able to stay at the same school for all of your child's time there (up to Grade 8 for my guys) then if you get a teacher for one year that's crappy, maybe you just keep plugging along as she did until you get the okay teacher the following year. Do you know what I mean?
As I said, I have difficulties with this teacher that extend beyond PA. Yesterday, she told the kids that if they didn't have skates for the skating program, their parents had a week to buy them or they wouldn't be going. Well, at the last school, they always had skates that you could borrow. So, I went into the office and checked and our school actually doesn't have too many loaner skates.
However, one of the teachers took me and found a pair of skates for Jesse to use. Do other parents know to do this or do I know because I've dealt with another school and how they accommodated children last year? So, another child goes home and basically tells their parents they can't go skating unless they have skates and if they aren't able to get skates, well, the parent doesn't know any better because their child has always been at this school.
(I must be terribly un-Canadian - I don't know how to skate and even though DH has a pair of skates we never go on family outings skating. Both kids will learn to skate only by going to the skating program through the schools - yup, I'm un-Canadian [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] )
erik, thank-you for your caring, support and concern. I really appreciate it. I'm quite looking forward to the holidays (the kids only get two weeks off, I'm shocked, my *big* kid gets at least three) and hope I can figure things out then. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------

mae, IGA is somehow connected with Sobey's and also Price Chopper's. I think I have had a fairly good experience with questions re PA with them as well, but nothing as outstanding (or I would remember [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] ) as the response I got from A&P re their labeling. And to me, Loblaw's who are probably the biggest chain (though not clear) in Canada, their practice of having people call with the actual UPC is ludicrous. I don't actually think they realize how many consumers they may be losing because of this. I have an Independent grocery store near to me now and also Food Basics. Food Basics is an off-shoot of A&P as well. But the Independent is an off-shoot of Loblaw's and it just ticks me off to no end that I would have to phone them before purchasing one of their no name products. To me, the difference in price is not worth the pain in the a** to me. That's why I was really pleased to hear that they do, in fact, label their new Organics line *properly*.
Thanks for the comments re your child's two teachers. It really helps. I guess, for me, I'm finding it hard because it's Jesse's fourth year in school (does everyone here know that implicitly now [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] ) and this is the first teacher that I have come across that didn't want to "get it", not even in the least and more importantly chose not to follow a written school plan.
We have always had "gems" and I guess that's basically my expectation (probably not a realistic one). Jesse's JK/SK teacher was great. She left in March month of that year to go on maternity leave and even the substitute for March, April, May, June (sorry, had to type them out, couldn't add the months up in my head [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] ), who I feel I have to add was also young, didn't balk at anything. Jesse remained safe in her class for the four months he was with her.
He went to Grade 1 for two months in our last town and things seemed to go well there as well. Then again, I never spot checked lunches/snacks there either. The teacher felt that the children could read their own snacks and become empowered and I thought "right on!".
Here for the remainder of Grade 1, again, another absolutely fabulous teacher. Even after their skating excursions when a parent would bring an unsafe product in for a treat, she wouldn't allow it in. And their skating excursions were considered rare and special.
She simply chose to get it.
erik, Kellogg's does have such a great line of snacks that could be used as replacements or alternatives to the no name rice krispie squares. I have been substituting them with Nutrigrain bars from the breakfast program.
I have also, in my duty as Food Nazi, come across some other fun looking things from Kellogg's - a snack type of bar that had Frosted Flakes in it (not sure of the name).
The thing is, it's "safe". Frosted Flakes, as a cereal, isn't here in Canada (it is in America and Jesse received some Frosted Flakes from his best friend in Michigan when they visited last summer), so I'm thinking it would be *good* to look for those so he could try them (same as you, erik, not able to eat the Vector cereal, can eat the bar). They do look yummy.
I personally know how difficult it is to shop when you're on a tight budget. That's why I really feel badly for parents that I know are really trying to get this PA thing right. Do you know what I mean?
Of course, I didn't feel too badly about the woman yesterday who ONLY buys bulk food because as far as I could tell, it wasn't a financial choice that she absolutely had to adhere to. I would LOVE to be able to shop bulk (I can envision a huge bag of ju jubes right now), but I can't. And I'm not saying that because I'm jealous that she can, I'm saying that you could tell she is not experiencing any financial hardship (although sometimes I very well know, people don't offer their income status on their shirt sleeves - I have been able to tell the school of 6 different children, 3 sets of siblings that *should* have invitations to the breakfast program only because I know them a bit more than the school does or the school even should).
I think that's what I do find frustrating, as a PA parent, that we can't buy certain no name products or food in bulk and we don't have the bloody money. I remember coming in here and posting about a simple grocery store experience I had a couple of years ago in the other town. I saw a woman stock up on tons of sale items (Christmas cookies, etc.) that were unsafe. I was in there with limited funds and just oh so wished I could buy as much food as she was. But I couldn't (so I came here to whine about it, what else is new? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] ) and I live with that on a daily basis.
However, I can see where it would be difficult for other people, not in a great position financially to be forced (if you will) to deal with PA when they don't have a PA child. I feel really badly for that woman who sent the note in to-day because I know where she's coming from. I may even stop by to see her when I run an errand past her house this afternoon (also I might get a cup of coffee on this cold winter day [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] ).
So, when that happens, I'm simply more angry with the teacher. Give the people the information they need at the beginning of the school year, follow my son's written school plan, and then you don't have pi**ed off parents at Christmas time. How hard is that to "get"?
Anyway, enough. Thank-you both very much. I really appreciate it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
------------------