So much for a \"safe\" family gathering!

Posted on: Tue, 12/24/2002 - 5:47pm
marina_twinmom's picture
Joined: 09/06/2001 - 09:00

Everyone in the family knows about my DS's severe peanut and almond allergies. My SIL and BIL had everyone over to their house for dinner today, and she asked me ahead of time to make sure the things she was cooking would be safe. Sounds great, doesn't it?

So ... we get there, and my kids start running around. I follow them into the living room, and lo and behold ... there's a lovely table with big dishes of peanut brittle, mixed nuts, and fudge with nuts. Aargh.

We managed to keep the kids in the other room (where the gathering was anyway) the rest of the night. Afterward, on the way home, I told DH that I'd been terrified people would start eating the peanut brittle and holding DS. He said that what scared him ... get this ... was the mousetraps in the family room that were right beside the sofa we'd been sitting on. They were baited with PEANUT BUTTER. (At one point, DS dropped a toy and went very near a mousetrap to pick it up. I had not seen the mousetraps, or I would have held him on my lap all night.)

Other than that, the family gathering was fun, but it has left me feeling bewildered. Even when people really seem to "get it," they sometimes don't.

[This message has been edited by marina_twinmom (edited December 25, 2002).]

Posted on: Wed, 12/25/2002 - 3:11am
becca's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Wow. Hello? I am always amazed at how people do not realize these things(when they know of the allergy). I suspect they did not add any nuts to things they prepared for the meal? Perhaps thinking the obvious things would just be optional for those who are not allergic. I think people do not understand the whole cross contact, people spreading crumbs around and having residue around. This is always the toughest hurdle and some just refuse to accept that it is a very real risk, especially with young children on the floor and difficult to control.
Too late now, but what I have done is simply move such things at least out of the reach of children, hoping that the adults who do choose to eat it might be neater. I asked a hostess once if I could move the trail mix, loaded with M&Ms, nuts and such to a higher location(where she had bar and soda items) so still very available to most, but not my dd. She was a bit perlexed, even after a call earlier that day just asking about nuts(deciding if we would go with or without dd, not asking for any changes). She said all that stull would be "up high." Pb cookies, pistachios, bowls of unsafe candy(and safe, too) around for children to take(wrapped). I was a wreck. We left when my dd's friend started eating the pistachios and leaving the shells on the coffee table! This was not family, however, and a couple without children, too. I anticipated going and seeing how it went, knowing we might hightail it out of there! Very different than having family gatherings.
Isn't it an awful feeling to go to a party of holiday gathering and be so tense the entire time. Sorry for your stressful holiday! becca

Posted on: Wed, 12/25/2002 - 12:32pm
MomLyttle's picture
Joined: 11/15/2000 - 09:00

Same thing always happen here when we go to th e in-laws , nuts and candies all over the place. burns my butt ya know we have now had them come to our place on Christmas. Happy Holidays

Posted on: Wed, 12/25/2002 - 11:26pm
AJSMAMA's picture
Joined: 06/12/2002 - 09:00

I am sorry that your Christmas dinner had to be spent worrying. I know how unnerving it is to have unsafe foods around. I cannot relax at all in that type of situation either.

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