Would like some daycare advice (long!!!)

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 3:48am
nomorenutz's picture
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Joined: 10/28/2005 - 09:00

I went to pick my son up from school the other day and his new teacher said he had had a great day and really enjoyed the popsicles that he was given. Well, our rule with the school just for ease on everyone and for total control is that our son cannot eat anything at all without our prior approval. We were not told about the popsicles in advance. There are brands that do have a peanut warning on them. i don't know about the ones he was given b/c they don't still have the box. They were probably harmless, and nothing happenned to him, but how hard is it to just not give him anything without talking to us first???? So, I spoke to the director about it and she said "well, we didn't think popsicles would be a problem -- there's no peanuts in popsicles, right?" I felt like screaming -- "What part of NO FOOD do you people not understand?!??!?!?" Anyway, she still really doesn't get it. A little girl in his class is having a birthday today, so the mom is bringing some sort of yogurt, fruit thing that she is making -- in order to keep things simple, we have told the school that nothing from outside of the school is to go into his mouth -- it's just easier to have a hard and fast rule then to always bend to exceptions. I'm sure the food she's bringing is perfectly safe, but I've never been in her kitchen -- so, I brought my son a strawberry banana yogurt snack that I know is safe and is very similar to what the kids are eating. When I told the director to remind my son's teacher to give him the snack I brought, she said "and this is so he won't eat what so and so's mom is bringing" -- me, "yes" -- her "you know it's just strawberries and bananas, right?" AAACK -- Lady, I don't care what it is. If it doesn't have a label on it that I can read, he cannot have it. We're trying to take the burden off of the school and the other parents in trying to only have "safe" foods. Just don't give him anything I haven't approved. Why is this so hard? And why the attitude?
Anyway, I guess I needed to vent! Any input or advice on how to handle this better? I know I'll be up against the attitudes as he gets older too, but I want to have my "rules" in place so that I don't feel like I need to bend in any way. Is this whole, let me approve the food thing really that difficult????
Thanks for "listening"!

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 6:19am
Lori Anne's picture
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Joined: 07/13/2005 - 09:00

Well, I agree with you that it should be easy for you to just approve the snacks. They aren't listening though. They are thinking..no nuts...should be safe...
It's much easier for you to be the only one supplying the food for your child. That's how we did things with dd's preschool and the year went smoothly with no reactions at school at all. Don't know if you would want to do that or not. I found it made things easy and clear.
I had a safe supply of snacks stored at the preschool. I even had Dare cookies and PhillySwirl stored for dd just in case there was an unexpected treat that she couldn't have.
I think the best thing to do would be to ask for a meeting with the director. During that meeting, explain about cross contamination and comfort zones. Maybe have an article or two to share. Explain that the best way to keep your child safe is for all food to be food that you supply.
Dd's preschool used to tell me when they would bake and I would even supply ingredients for that. (Totally my choice--others may not want to do that.)
I think something that might really wake them up is if you can find popsicles that do have a warning on them. Personally, I would buy a box just to stick the ingredients/warnings right under their noses. Then I'd have dh take the box to work or I'd throw them out (horrible, I know--but I waste things when necessary!). Wouldn't leave them at the daycare--they might use them!
It sounds like they just don't know a thing about food allergies. Regardless, if you said NO food except what you approve, they did not follow your directions. That is scary. I would be sure to explain just how scary that is. Hopefully they will listen. I'm sure they wouldn't want to lose your money if you leave. And if I thought they weren't being careful enough after speaking to them, that is what I would try to do--find someplace that WILL listen.
Good luck!
[This message has been edited by Lori Anne (edited June 09, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 10:14am
SallyL's picture
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Joined: 02/20/2006 - 09:00

We JUST went through this with my in-laws!! Argh. So frustrating. I said to my husband -what part of "Don't give her anything other than what we set out for her" don't you understand! Errrr...
I think though, that education really is the key. I consider myself to have been more allergy aware than most even before I had an allergic child. I would never had expected that there was a possibility of peanuts in popsicles. That said, I'd still follow the parents' rules and requests! I've been looking around for a good source of info about cross-contamination that I can give to them. If I find it, I'll let you know.
I'd probably do the same thing with the popsicles - find one with the peanut warning and show them! Maybe even that would drive the point home!
When my family didn't understand the allergy I showed them a list of people who died from cross-contamination. That's the only thing that worked for them. Not saying that's appropriate for everyone, but I had to resort to that to get them to understand!

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 10:59am
TwokidsNJ's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2005 - 09:00

I would issue the daycare something in writing.
Also, the method our preschool used would probably work for you. I have to sign off every day on any snack that is brought in from another parent (which is every day someone brings snack). If I haven't signed, DS gets something from his own snack bag. Since it's a nut-free school, 95% of the stuff that comes in is safe for him; 5% of the time I veto and he gets something from his bag. This works for us.
You might want to take a stricter approach and write in the letter that your DS ONLY gets what YOU provide, the ONLY exception being when you have been presented with a snack, have read the label and have SIGNED OFF that he can have it. Our class has a signoff sheet for my DS (and another allergic boy) right on the door.

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 1:14pm
Julie1079's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/22/2006 - 09:00

Ugh! Sorry you are having a hard time with the daycare. I like the idea of the last poster about signing off on everything.
Why oh why can't people be more understanding??

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 6:19am
Lori Anne's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/13/2005 - 09:00

Well, I agree with you that it should be easy for you to just approve the snacks. They aren't listening though. They are thinking..no nuts...should be safe...
It's much easier for you to be the only one supplying the food for your child. That's how we did things with dd's preschool and the year went smoothly with no reactions at school at all. Don't know if you would want to do that or not. I found it made things easy and clear.
I had a safe supply of snacks stored at the preschool. I even had Dare cookies and PhillySwirl stored for dd just in case there was an unexpected treat that she couldn't have.
I think the best thing to do would be to ask for a meeting with the director. During that meeting, explain about cross contamination and comfort zones. Maybe have an article or two to share. Explain that the best way to keep your child safe is for all food to be food that you supply.
Dd's preschool used to tell me when they would bake and I would even supply ingredients for that. (Totally my choice--others may not want to do that.)
I think something that might really wake them up is if you can find popsicles that do have a warning on them. Personally, I would buy a box just to stick the ingredients/warnings right under their noses. Then I'd have dh take the box to work or I'd throw them out (horrible, I know--but I waste things when necessary!). Wouldn't leave them at the daycare--they might use them!
It sounds like they just don't know a thing about food allergies. Regardless, if you said NO food except what you approve, they did not follow your directions. That is scary. I would be sure to explain just how scary that is. Hopefully they will listen. I'm sure they wouldn't want to lose your money if you leave. And if I thought they weren't being careful enough after speaking to them, that is what I would try to do--find someplace that WILL listen.
Good luck!
[This message has been edited by Lori Anne (edited June 09, 2006).]

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 10:14am
SallyL's picture
Offline
Joined: 02/20/2006 - 09:00

We JUST went through this with my in-laws!! Argh. So frustrating. I said to my husband -what part of "Don't give her anything other than what we set out for her" don't you understand! Errrr...
I think though, that education really is the key. I consider myself to have been more allergy aware than most even before I had an allergic child. I would never had expected that there was a possibility of peanuts in popsicles. That said, I'd still follow the parents' rules and requests! I've been looking around for a good source of info about cross-contamination that I can give to them. If I find it, I'll let you know.
I'd probably do the same thing with the popsicles - find one with the peanut warning and show them! Maybe even that would drive the point home!
When my family didn't understand the allergy I showed them a list of people who died from cross-contamination. That's the only thing that worked for them. Not saying that's appropriate for everyone, but I had to resort to that to get them to understand!

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 10:59am
TwokidsNJ's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/28/2005 - 09:00

I would issue the daycare something in writing.
Also, the method our preschool used would probably work for you. I have to sign off every day on any snack that is brought in from another parent (which is every day someone brings snack). If I haven't signed, DS gets something from his own snack bag. Since it's a nut-free school, 95% of the stuff that comes in is safe for him; 5% of the time I veto and he gets something from his bag. This works for us.
You might want to take a stricter approach and write in the letter that your DS ONLY gets what YOU provide, the ONLY exception being when you have been presented with a snack, have read the label and have SIGNED OFF that he can have it. Our class has a signoff sheet for my DS (and another allergic boy) right on the door.

Posted on: Fri, 06/09/2006 - 1:14pm
Julie1079's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/22/2006 - 09:00

Ugh! Sorry you are having a hard time with the daycare. I like the idea of the last poster about signing off on everything.
Why oh why can't people be more understanding??

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