Who is not letting a FA run their lives?

Posted on: Mon, 11/12/2007 - 1:35pm
Marcela's picture
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Joined: 11/09/2007 - 00:13

I just found out about my daughter's PA last week. It's been 6 days and I can't imagine living life the way these past 6 days have been. I have cried, been depressed, been mad (primarily at my poor DH) and just out of control. I know it's because there's a chance that my daughter's PA could be life threatening. But I already know that I don't want to let this run our lives. I want to make rules for our family regarding peanuts, follow those rules and live life without being paranoid all of the time. I could use some help with establishing those rules (like carrying Epi at all times, etc...) and moving forward. It's only been 6 days, but I miss playing with my daughters and just enjoying them. I can't imagine life the way it has been for the past 6 days. I guess I just want to take control and move on.

Am I being naive or is this possible?

Posted on: Mon, 11/12/2007 - 1:42pm
qdebbie1's picture
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Joined: 02/10/2005 - 09:00

It been almost 9 years.
I feel for you, we all do.
I wish I could say I never think about it but I probably still think about it every day for at least a minute or two, depending on the day.
But I can say we live life just like anyone else. Its not easy living with a peanut allergy but it not the end of the world. My son goes to school, rides the bus, plays with friends, goes to parties, overnight, baseball, plays sports, everything without peanuts.
The best advice I can give is to get educated and be the ruler of this dannmn thing. Do not let it rule you. Do not

Posted on: Mon, 11/12/2007 - 11:26pm
SkyMom's picture
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Joined: 10/27/2001 - 09:00

qdebbie1 did a great job of explaining that pa can just be a part of your life. Please know that initially most everyone feels that life will be so abnormal and it doesn't have to be.

Posted on: Tue, 11/13/2007 - 1:11am
PAMomInPA's picture
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Joined: 04/04/2006 - 09:00

What you are experiencing is perfectly normal. I know it feels like you'll never feel normal again but you will, it just takes time to adjust. It's always going to be a part of your life of course but you'll find ways to deal with it. I can't tell you exactly how to deal with this since I think we all have our own way.
One of the first things I told myself is that I don't have to be anxious 24/7. He isn't being exposed 24/7. The house was made safe and his daycare was peanut-free. I had to be cautious 24/7 of course (nothing is fool-proof) but the true land mine situations (restaurants, parties, family dinners, etc) were only going to take up a small part of our life. I would sometimes be tossing and turning in bed right after diagnosis and I would have to tell myself that he's safe right now, he's not going to self-destruct in his sleep because of this.

Posted on: Tue, 11/13/2007 - 3:50am
maphiemom's picture
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Joined: 12/01/2005 - 09:00

It is an everyday concern , managing, but it doesn't rule us, we are just careful, my daughter goes to school, movies, theme parks, I must admit we are more on guard than others, we eat out , you deal with it , I would never stay in all the time, that is no way to live. Parties are tough for me, as my daughter had a reaction at a party (the first one I didn't attend)so there we rewrite the plan, but I am a worrier, so this probably isn't good for my child.
You will learn , it will become second nature.

Posted on: Tue, 11/13/2007 - 3:57am
KaraLH's picture
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Joined: 10/11/2006 - 09:00

First of all, like the others said, your feelings are perfectly normal.
It's been a little over a year since my dd was diagnosed. She was 2 1/2 at the time, I had a 14 month old and I was 7 months pregnant. Not to mention a 4 year old also! I was beside myself. I cried too. Night and day. I wondered how life would ever be the same again. If it would. We actually discovered more allergies over the next 3 months and I felt like I was going to drown in a sea of allergies!! I had great family support though. My husband began his research immediatly and over the first 6 months (new baby and all) we started to breathe again! Now it's been just over a year and we do think about it everyday, but it definetly doesn't run our lives. We had to change a few things like snack routines, getting doughnuts for treats, certain treats at the mall etc., but we made up new "safe" routines. We follow those daily and I don't usually have to worry too much.
That being said. My dd did start three-school this fall. That has been a whole new experience and has brought some trials. However we are learning a lot and so is her teacher. My husband and I and another allergy mom are due December 3 to do a presentation to the preschool staff about food allergies.
Life will get easier, but you will always be aware. Reading labels will become second nature just like many other things like eating out safely, etc.
Best wishes to you. And yes, never eat with out the epi is a very good rule. I never go anywhere with out her benadryl and epi.
Kara

Posted on: Tue, 11/13/2007 - 5:00am
CorinneM1's picture
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Joined: 06/20/2002 - 09:00

Its possible and we all have been in your exact same position. You know that you need to make changes and alterations in your lifestyle choices due to her food allergy, but don't think of this as running your life.
A few suggestions since you are new to this...get thee to Amazon.com and purchase the Peanut Allergy Answer Book. Purchase a few copies for family members as well. It is an easy read and really helps those understand the chemistry behind a food allergy, as well as what is required of those that have it and parents/caregivers etc.
This book helped me understand what the allergy meant and my husband and I could set a comfort zone. Speaking of the husband...you need to be a team on this, so stop taking it out on him. :)
In addition there is a great book for your daughter to read called Allie the Allergic Elephant. Will help her understand the allergy as well. And there is a book for her friends called The Peanut Free Cafe. This one I like bc it discusses PA, but from the voice of a young school boy that loves PA and eats it every day.
Everyone will set their own comfort zone and boundries based upon what they feel is the best way to protect their child.
Here are our boundries for our 6-year-old son. PA only, scored 5 of out 6 on a rast, only one reaction to date (hives only).
--he goes to a private school and epi pens are with his teacher. School is not peanut free. He sits with others that are not eating peanut butter.
--heis active in boy scouts and sports
--we do not have peanut butter products in the home.
--we do go out to restaurants and often (call ahead and stick with the places that we know/feel are safe). We do not eat out at Asian or bring in bakery products.
--we bake together on the weekends (and I have become an excellent baker due to his PA).
--We carry epi pens (2) everywhere with us as well as benedryl fast melting strips
--He has epi pens at my mom's house as well as the sitter's house.

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