who can i trust - Peanut Allergy Information

who can i trust

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my 3 year old son had a severe reaction after a very good friend who was watching him took my son someplace i asked her not to,then lied about his reaction. luckily i was suspicious of her discription and rushed home. i've lost a good friend and my confidence. i thought i could trust her she has severe allergies too! who do i trust now?

On Mar 8, 1999

cautious mom - better to have lost this friend early on. How could anyone take your son somewhere you had asked them specifically not to and then lie about it. Thank God nothing happened. It is hard to trust someone else in the care of your son no matter who they are in this situation. I guess you have to go with your instincts. You said you were suspicious of her description and you rushed home, had you had other suspicions too, but brushed them off because she was a good friend. Try to go with those instincts. People I have learned have different priorities. Not that they are bad people, but they tend to put their needs first not those of others. See playdate post. I can't offer you much other advice since I haven't had to leave her with anyone else yet. But just make sure you have no doubts when you do. Patti

On Mar 8, 1999

HI, THE HARDEST THING FOR ME IS LEAVING MY SON WITH SOMEONE YOU JUST ARE'NT SURE ABOUT.MY BEST ADVICE WOULD BE TO ASK UP FRONT,IF THEY ARE COMFORTABLE WITH KNOWING THEY MAY HAVE TO USE THE EPI-PEN. SOME WILL SQUIRM AND I KNOW THEY CAN'T DO IT. OTHERS SAY THEY ARE FINE AND UNDERSTAND THE REALALITY OF THE PROBLEM. ON TOP OF THIS I WILL ASK THEM OVER ON A PLAY DATE TYPE OF THING AND SEE HOW THEY REACT TO ANYTHING THAT COMES UP (LIKE ME READING LABLES OR ASKING THE RESTRANT IF THEY USE PN OIL). I KIND OF TEST THEM WHEN I'M AROUND.THEN I KNOW WHO I CAN TRUST. MY SON ALSO IS IN THE HABIT OF ASKING IF THERE ARE PENUTS IN ANYTHING HE EATS.(IT'S A GOOD REMINDER) IF SOMEONE IS CASUAL ABOUT IT I DON'T LEAVE HIM. THE OTHER I THING I DO IS PRAY FOR DECERNMENT AND TRUST GOD. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS, LORI P.S.I FEEL IT IS BEST FOR MY SON TO GROW UP AS NORMAL AS POSABLE AND THAT MEANS HE CAN'T ALWAYS BE WITH ME.

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On Mar 8, 1999

HI, THE HARDEST THING FOR ME IS LEAVING MY SON WITH SOMEONE YOU JUST ARE'NT SURE ABOUT.MY BEST ADVICE WOULD BE TO ASK UP FRONT,IF THEY ARE COMFORTABLE WITH KNOWING THEY MAY HAVE TO USE THE EPI-PEN. SOME WILL SQUIRM AND I KNOW THEY CAN'T DO IT. OTHERS SAY THEY ARE FINE AND UNDERSTAND THE REALALITY OF THE PROBLEM. ON TOP OF THIS I WILL ASK THEM OVER ON A PLAY DATE TYPE OF THING AND SEE HOW THEY REACT TO ANYTHING THAT COMES UP (LIKE ME READING LABLES OR ASKING THE RESTRANT IF THEY USE PN OIL). I KIND OF TEST THEM WHEN I'M AROUND.THEN I KNOW WHO I CAN TRUST. MY SON ALSO IS IN THE HABIT OF ASKING IF THERE ARE PENUTS IN ANYTHING HE EATS.(IT'S A GOOD REMINDER) IF SOMEONE IS CASUAL ABOUT IT I DON'T LEAVE HIM. THE OTHER I THING I DO IS PRAY FOR DECERNMENT AND TRUST GOD. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS, LORI P.S.I FEEL IT IS BEST FOR MY SON TO GROW UP AS NORMAL AS POSABLE AND THAT MEANS HE CAN'T ALWAYS BE WITH ME.

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On Mar 8, 1999

It's quite a tightrope to walk with this kind of allergy but, speaking from personal experience, there are quite a few people you *can* trust to care for you son in your absence. I have been leaving my son for approximately eight to twelve hours a week in someone else's care since he turned 1yo. He has had only two reactions in 4 years and both of them have been under my supervision.

Over the past three years, I have found the most reliable babysitters are relatives who are obviously concerned and aware of the seriousness of the allergy and unrelated young adults as opposed to teens. Our best babysitters range(d) in age from 20 to 27. With this allergy, it's important that the person left in charge to care for your peanut allergic son has a driver's license. And there are probably a whole host of other reasons (administering the epi-pen, etc.) why the situation calls for a young adult.

All we tell our sitters is not to bring food to our home. I teach them how to use an Epi-Pen to emphasize the seriousness of the allergy. We keep a completely peanut-free household and, if no peanuts come in, our son is completely safe. We are also extremely lucky to have found a peanut-free preschool for my son. He definitely needed the socialization being an only-child with an SAH mom and he has benefited greatly from the four hours he's at school twice a week.

I can only speak of my personal experience with a child who has never been near death or hospitalized or has an airborne sensitivity. From that perspective, I do not want this allergy to dominate our lives and do the best I can to lead as normal of a life as I can under the circumstances. For me, that means going out on weekly dates with my husband and taking time for myself to recharge the mommy batteries. My son and I attend two playgroups each week. All of the parents know of his allergy and accomodate by not serving peanut products while we are around. I ask them to save any food containers from which items are served and I read all the ingredients when in doubt.

I've had trouble with only one friend around my son's food restrictions. She'd allow her daughter to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in front of my son. I couldn't believe her insensitivity. But really what was lacking was education. For a long time I would just glare at her. However, once I decided to communicate and educate her about airborne reactions and how unwashed hands could pass on the allergen, she stopped serving peanut products around my son.

It's a thin line between ever-vigilant and paranoid. But for the happiness of myself and my family, I try and err on the side of vigilant. :-)

Noreen

On Mar 8, 1999

From one cautious mom to many others - I definitely can relate. I have already told everyone whom we visit most often & Harley's babysitter - they all have agreed to my demands to put all peanut products up high. To read all labels if they are compelled to feed her something I haven't brought (so far no one is comfortable doing that - I bring her own food everywhere we go). I have also asked that they serve no peanut products while we are there & everyone we see has so far accepted it & are just as concerned for my daughter's health as we are. We have a few friends that we don't see very much that I am concerned about - but if they don't take me seriously we won't see them. I can't think of anyone in this world that means more to me than my precious little angels - and I am not afraid of what people may think of me as I do whatever I think is necessary to protect them. If more people had the misfortune of having a child with this type of allergy - school's & daycares would be peanut free & everyone would understand our constant scrutinization of all food! It's alot of work to keep our children safe anyway - but with an allergy like this it seems an impossible round the clock task. Keep your chins up - all of the effort is worth it - we get to keep our kids with us. [img]http://client.ibboards.com/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On Mar 13, 1999

what's so hard for me is that even in school. they serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day as an alternative to the menu..and it scares me that he may be exposed to say..peanut butter on the tabletop.from a previous lunch group..that ate there..a pb sandwich..so..i wish all schools could be peanut free..we don't have one in my area. it's very scary..

On Mar 14, 1999

Jean, Most schools are not pn-free, but many at least set aside a specific table/s that is strictly pn-free. Any kid sitting at that table has his lunched checked to make sure it is pn-free. That way you at least don't have to worry about pn residue. You should be able to work with your school to better accomadate your child.

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