Where does your PA child sleep?

Posted on: Tue, 05/13/2003 - 12:11pm
Danielle's picture
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Joined: 04/08/2003 - 09:00

My husband and I have always believed in a family bedroom for our children. We have a queen bed pushed up to our king bed plus a crib for the baby (for the few times she is in it). Although we are all in the same bedroom I am still so scared that my PA DD will have a reaction that I check on her with a flashlight throughout the night. I know I am still only a few months into this PA but I wonder does a person ever relax again to get a nights sleep. I have read that most reactions occur very quickly as hers did but I worry that she will have a delayed reaction and be sleeping and I won't know what is going on. So I lay there and listen to her breathe and worry and check on her throughout the night with a flashlight. Please tell me it gets better...

Posted on: Tue, 05/13/2003 - 12:29pm
wendysco's picture
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Joined: 05/03/2003 - 09:00

Well I really can't tell you when you'll relax as we have only been dealing with this for a month now and it seems like it's getting more stressful, hopefully it will get better soon. But, you did make me smile. For purely selfish sleep reasons, DH and I moved a double bed next to our king size so our ds and dd (2 1/2 and 15 mos) can sleep in our room.And here I thought we were the only ones. I think it does ease my mind to be able to watch them at night, like tonight at dinner, something my dd didn't want to eat but I encouraged her to try made her throw up, so even though I won't sleep much at least you can lie there while you watch. As for ds, he's a former preemie so I think we've been watching him breathe for like 2 1/2 years now, I will let you know if there ever comes a day when we relax (LOL). I guess it comes with the territory.

Posted on: Tue, 05/13/2003 - 2:23pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Home is our safe place, so after living with the PA diagnosis for a little over four years, I do sleep pretty well at night!
When we travel, though, it's another story. We usually get a king bed (we have a queen at home, so it feels like extra space for us), and put M in the middle. I'd bet I wake up every half hour or so, turn on the light, and check. It's grueling!
I've done fine when we've rented a condo without the usual hotel blackout curtains -- I think it's just something about *complete* darkness that unnerves me, even in my sleep.
It really does get better in general, though. I used to read posts that said that, and figured that the parents were just dropping their guard after a while. Now, with a few years behind us, I think that we've hit a groove -- we are more careful than ever, but it's automatic. We've hammered out our routines, and they work pretty well.
You will sleep again...! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
-Sue

Posted on: Tue, 05/13/2003 - 2:50pm
Renee111064's picture
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Joined: 07/05/2001 - 09:00

My pa child has slept and continues to sleep in his bedroom in which he shares with his younger brother.
We found out when he was not quite 2 1/2 years old about being PA. At that time we did not have a computer and I really didn't know much about his allergy.
We always had a monitor in his room when he was much smaller. He is now 7 1/2 years old.
I never really had a tight rein about his allergy. We found out only because we went to the allergist about his environmental allergies at the time. We merely found out by accident that he was allergic to peanuts.
In the beginning with our old allergist he just stated for me to join FAAN and to always carry his epi-pen with us whereever he went. THe allergist nor any of his staff explained anything about his allergies and that they could be deadly.
We have since changed allergists. Our newer allergist's office takes things more seriously about the food allergy than the older one.
We had to watch movies and they trained us all on proper usage of the epi-pen.
My son has broken out in hives a couple of times. Not sure it was always from peanut exposure but most likely.
Anyway getting back to the subject on hand. My Drew has always slept in his own room except when he was a baby and would scratch from his eczema and I would sleep with him in my arms in the chair trying to keep him from scratching when he was under 2.
best wishes,
Renee [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 05/14/2003 - 3:18am
AJSMAMA's picture
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Joined: 06/12/2002 - 09:00

My (almost) three year old sleeps right beside me in a day bed that I have pushed right up against our bed. I have known about his allergy for two years and I still scan his face every night (for the random hive or something) and listen to him breathe before I close my eyes. I can't tolerate the thought of him in another room. (Although he has a very nice "bed"room!) The idea of it makes me a nervous wreck! Anyway, just trying to let you know that you are definitely not the only "crazy" one here.
Jaime

Posted on: Wed, 05/14/2003 - 5:41am
MeCash's picture
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Joined: 04/18/2001 - 09:00

My PA son slept with me and my X-husband until he was 3 and we split up. He then slept with me until he was almost 4. I did not know he was PA until he was over 5, but he had such bad asthma problems, that having him close to me was vital to my own sanity. Plus, I worked and it was the only quality bonding time we really had.
Both my PA children now have their own rooms and do just fine. We have a peanut free home and I don't worry as much as I use to. My daughter did sleep with us until she was 6 months old and stopped sleeping well with people next to her. She's a lot more independent that way... and at 2 1/2, she has her own little toddler bed in the small bedroom and can open her own door, dress herself and wakes up her PA brother to play in the morning.
I admire families that sleep together. In my experience, it gives the parents a sense of ease and comfort knowing their child is within 'hearing' distance and like another recent thread, it has a lot to do with comfort zones. Nothing crazy about accomodating your comfort zone and bonding with your children at the same time!!
~Melanie

Posted on: Wed, 05/14/2003 - 7:32am
Ms.Belinda's picture
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Joined: 05/11/2003 - 09:00

I'm a big believer in Family Beds. Just call yourself an "Attachment Parent" - if you look it up on the web somewhere, there are millions of people who share beds/rooms with their kids! (see CompleatMother.com) I read a study somewhere that said that kids who slept with their parents in earily childhood had less depression, less homesickness, and better grades in their freshman year at college! Although it seems like a paradox, the more time you spend with your kids, the less they "need" you when they're older, and the more confident they are with themselves in adulthood.
Of course, I may be a little biased: I home-birthed our daughter, and she slept in our bed that night and every night since!
------------------

Posted on: Wed, 05/14/2003 - 8:47am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Our 4 yo dd sleeps with one of us (usually its the light-sleeping Mommy [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ) anytime there is ANY break in our routine (unfamiliar food/ visit to an unsafe environment) or ANY kind of allergy problem going on during the day... this includes environmentals... We also sometimes allow it when dd just feels like she needs to sleep with one of us. This has saved us more than once because we know about a problem very early on.
After the last pot-luck, dd was seemingly fine, just tired, but woke up at two and vomited all over both of us and went white as a sheet... Then went into that familiar "twilight sleep" after a dose of Benadryl...but was fine the next morning- just pale and a little out of sorts. Not sure what caused this problem- but it was DEFINITELY food allergy related.
Point is, we are all just fine about this- it lets us all sleep a bit more soundly.

Posted on: Wed, 05/14/2003 - 10:36am
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

My kids sleep in their own beds in their own rooms. I wanted a family bed at first, and it was a [b]huge[/b] bone of contention between my husband and me. I finally gave in, and thankfully we are all doing fine. I don't worry about my pa 8 year old daughter at home, really at all. Her reactions have come on very quickly. While I do know that this is not always the case, the night time thing is just something that I (thankfully) don't worry about. For me the pa thing has gotten easier over time. I've mentioned on other threads that I did end up seeking therapy (and eventually went on medication) to help me deal with some anxiety and depression issues that were exacerbated by my concerns about my daughter's allergies.
Good luck! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam

Posted on: Thu, 05/15/2003 - 12:38am
nancy023's picture
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Joined: 12/12/2002 - 09:00

I don't think having a family bed- for any reason- makes your family strange. My three sisters and I (and our husbands) all have family beds.
I understand your worrying about reactions in the middle of the night, my son has asthma that I often have to treat during the night, but no night allergic reactions yet.
You will get used to the allergy routine as time goes on, but you may never relax entirely the way you used too. Hang in there.
[This message has been edited by nancy023 (edited May 15, 2003).]

Posted on: Thu, 05/15/2003 - 3:46am
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

Well I have been dealing it well over 16 years now. I don't think it ever gets EASY. The word easy and kids are not in the same sentence anymore regaurdless of allergies. I worry all the time. I think you will just learn what to watch for and realize that if your avoiding the right things your home is the safest place and you will relax at home. I never worry at home because we have always had a nut free home. My mom and dad also have a safe home for my sone and always will. We never let our gaurd down but learn how to do it in a better way.
As for today I am extremely exhausted so i need to get off line and try to wake myself up a little. take care Claire

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