When you go out to eat without your pa child do ...

Posted on: Mon, 08/05/2002 - 2:42am
KATHYANN's picture
Joined: 09/29/2001 - 09:00

pHi everyone,br /
My husband and I are going out to eat for his birthday and we we're concerned about whether we should still ask all the important questions about the menu even though our son is not with us.. We never eat any peanut products regardless but what about the oils , since we kiss him . Is this a concern or am I going overboard if there is such a thing .. thanks for your help. Kathy Ann/p

Posted on: Mon, 08/05/2002 - 4:34am
becca's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Honestly, if we get to go out without our toddler, and it is extremely rare, as babysitting is a whole 'nother issue... we take advantage of the opportunity to actually dine at a place that might be unsafe to bring her. So, we have gone to a Cambodian place(where *everything* had peanuts in it, I would probably not go there again, but just washed up before kissing her). I have eaten peanut butter cookis and nuts at a party at Christmas when we had a sitter. My husband was less careful, and had gone to kiss her before I got to tell him to wash his face and hands well, and she was fine.
Our daughter has never had anaphylaxis, has been reaction free since we discovered the allergy and eliminated peanuts, and seems more tolerant than some to peanuts in the area as long as she does not handle or ingest them. I avoid this with her, of course, but have been in situations where I realized it was around after we got there, and she was fine. I was a wreck the entire time, but she was fine! becca

Posted on: Mon, 08/05/2002 - 4:48am
AJSMAMA's picture
Joined: 06/12/2002 - 09:00

I think I would eat peanut products if my husband and I went out without my son but we have not been out it in so long! I just stopped nursing him (while nursing I was also strictly peanut/tree nut free) so the last time we went out I was careful about it. Although I am not completely sure if I would even now. I have this guilt thing that it is my fault he is peanut-allergic because I ate peanuts all the time during pregnancy and during early nursing. Even when I go to work I don't eat candy bars or anything like that with blatant peanuts. I just feel like if he can't have it why should I get it??

Posted on: Mon, 08/05/2002 - 1:26pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

KATHYANN, I'm probably just weird, but I will NEVER eat another peanut product in my life.
So, if I should ever get to leave my home and go out to dinner with DH or anyone else (doubt it [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] ), I definitely wouldn't eat a peanut product thing and you know what?
I just re-thought it as I was posting about it - I would ask about peanut oil.
This might be considered overboard by most.
Let's see.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 08/06/2002 - 12:02am
san103's picture
Joined: 03/27/2000 - 09:00

Often I am out for dinner WITHOUT my pa/tna son, I eat nuts and peanuts. I always wash carefully when I get back (including a good face wipe) and I brush my teeth. My son is touch sensitive to nuts, but we have never had any problems. I just finished nursing my second son and I totally avoided nuts and peanuts while nursing, so they are a big treat when I am away from my children.

Posted on: Tue, 08/06/2002 - 2:38am
Annshel's picture
Joined: 05/30/2002 - 09:00

I don't eat anything with peanut\nuts even when I can. I too feel guilty about my son's PA. I lived on peanut butter when I was pregnant with him. I had no idea this was a concern. Of course with my second child I never touched it and he is not only PA free, he is allergy free. I also breast fed my 2nd child which I believe made a big difference. Hind-sight is always 20-20.

Posted on: Tue, 08/06/2002 - 4:39am
kcmom's picture
Joined: 12/18/2001 - 09:00

I always ask even if she is not with us what oil they fry in just so I know if I have to be extra cautious. And I don't eat anything with nuts in it at all. But regardless, I always come home and wash thouroughly. I just figure, why take chances. I really don't eat peanut/nut things anymore just because I feel like it's not worth the risk to my dd to eat them. But that's not to say I might eat peanut/nuts someday. I think it's all part of teaching them that it is their allergy and not everyone else's, so they have to learn how to deal with it without expecting everyone else to watch out for them. (even though she understands her family will ALWAYS watch out for her) They have to learn how to protect themselves and that people who eat peanuts/nuts are not bad, they just aren't allergic to them. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 08/06/2002 - 12:50pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Well, I can't remember the last time dh and I went out together, alone, but I have gone out with some women in my neighborhood the other week and it was to a Japanese restaurant. I tried to eat as plainly as possible and asked what type of oil they used but couldn't seem to find an answer! Someone at the table mentioned one of the sauces was "delicious - with a hint of a peanut taste" so you better believe I steared totally clear of that!!!! When I got home, I was so paranoid from that place (I think that use a very pungeont type of sesame oil) I took my clothes off immediately, washed them separately and jumped in the shower and made sure I brushed and brushed and brushed my teeth!!! Then, I still tried to keep a distance from my PA DD. Yes, I am paranoid but I can't help it. The last thing I want is for my DD to mention her throat "feels funny" or she is itchy, etc. etc. from something I ate or touched. Anyway, i am just to the extreme and have absolutely NO COMFORT ZONE!!!! Hooray for those of you who can let your hair down a bit and relax and enjoy. I hope that one day I'll get there too. My sister's DS has a TNA and she has a huge comfort zone. I'm just not there yet - not even close!!!!!!!!
Regards and stay safe,

Posted on: Tue, 08/06/2002 - 3:17pm
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

I'm pretty much with becca on this one. I have always really enjoyed peanuts and nuts, and foods containing them. I became disgusted by them for a short period after Leah's diagnosis, and was totally off them while pregnant with and nursing my second child. I, too, carried the guilt that some of you have mentioned about my nut consumption causing or greatly contributing to my daughter's allergies. I have actually let go of that guilt now. I did not have the information then that I have now. I never would have knowingly hurt my child, or chosen to make her life difficult in any way. I accept that my lack of knowlege and the lack of knowledge/information shared with me by my daughter's doctors most likely did contribute to her allergy. I have been able to move on from that and know that I have always only tried to do my best for her. All that said: after my second child weaned I was very excited to no longer be on a restricted diet. (Unfortunately my waist line is reflecting that fact!!!) It has been a nice treat to go out with my husband, on occasion, and eat Thai food or other stuff that we would never eat with our daughter. My husband actually seems to have more of a problem with it than I do. He claims he has very little desire to eat nuts now. I don't think he ever was as crazy about them as I have been, though. Fortunately, my peanut butter cravings are totally taken care of by soybean butter. I don't mention to my daughter that I enjoy nuts; it's just a private thing away from her. I've totally changed my attitude about all this in the last year or so. It goes along with my feeling that Leah has to grow up knowing that she has an allergy, but it's not the end of the world. Most other people do not have the allergy, so the foods that are dangerous for her are not dangerous for them.

Posted on: Wed, 08/07/2002 - 1:54am
Sandra Y's picture
Joined: 08/22/2000 - 09:00

I definitely eat foods my son is allergic to when I am out without him. In fact, I TRY to do so--it's my big chance to enjoy anything I feel like eating. Once I managed to find an entree that had BOTH peanuts and sesame. What are the chances one entree would include both things he's allergic to? I took it as a gift from heaven and ordered it--it was delicious! I really enjoy going out to eat at Thai and Indian restaurants without having to quiz the waiter about ingredients. To me, it is one of the great luxuries in life, and I enjoy it every chance I get!

Posted on: Wed, 08/07/2002 - 2:20am
mae's picture
Joined: 07/12/2002 - 09:00

I'm with you - Sandra. We don't get out much without the kids, so we'll go to places that we'd never take my son - Chinese, Thai, Indian restaurants. It is nice not having to ask so many questions.
I love Asian dishes and they often have peanuts or satay sauce - so I take the opportunity to have them on these nights out. Or a salad with nuts!
My husband eats peanut butter at work (we don't keep it in the house) - so having the odd meal with nuts/seeds is my treat! I do feel a little guilty, but i just make sure I wash up afterwards.


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