What\'s harder, being a Girl or Boy with PA?

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 12:52am
smack's picture
Joined: 11/14/2001 - 09:00

I think at this time because our twins are 7 it would definately be harder having dd with pa since she is more into girly girl sleepovers, playdates with girlfriends, make-up, just to name a few.

pa son couldn't care a less about sleeping at friends houses(probably not a boy thing to do)

pa son doesn't wear make-up(anymore) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] only kidding [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

pa son doesn't go on too many playdates either

So, right now or up until now I would have to say it is easier for us to have a boy with pa than a girl

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 2:24am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

smack, interesting question. I've quite often been thankful that it has been my son that is PA rather than my daughter (you know what I mean, I'm not thankful that Jess is PA).
My daughter is so strong willed, into fashion already at 7 (just turned 7 on Monday), sneaking a lip gloss she found at Grandma's, more play-dates, perhaps a couple more sleep-overs.
With her, and I do think it's a *girl* thing, I see this thing about needing or wanting to "fit in" more than I do with Jess. And I do think it's a *boy* thing the way he doesn't care about fashion right now (although he is starting to care about his hair), etc.
I don't know if boys can be difficult personalities as well and I don't want to label Em as *difficult*, but I'll say strong willed. She's been the child since Day One that grabbed stuff when she was sitting in the grocery cart, never Jess (almost as if he instinctively knew about his allergy - I've raised that question here).
I'd say a boy is easier, but that's 'cus I have one so not sure.
But I do know I've said a couple of times, not sure if out loud or not, that thank heaven it isn't Em with PA. I can see her being upset about an Epi-belt and MedicAlert bracelet, etc.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 2:53am
KatiesMom's picture
Joined: 03/01/2000 - 09:00

I don't think it's a boy/girl thing. I think it has more to do with kids learning to deal with what life was dealt them. In my case it's my 9 yr old dd with the allergy. She accepts, wears her medical-alert bracelet 24/7, carries an epi with her at school... I've always said that I'm glad it's NOT my son because he is the more high strung one, but I think if it was him, he would learn to deal with it.

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 3:31am
sport's picture
Joined: 10/01/2002 - 09:00

I have a son and daughter that are both are allergic and I cannot really tell difference one way or the other. They have both been taught to practice extreme caution at school and other places, and so far have done so. Hoope they continue, but you just never know.

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 4:14am
deegann's picture
Joined: 07/27/2003 - 09:00

[This message has been edited by deegann (edited February 09, 2005).]

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 5:41am
tando's picture
Joined: 06/13/2003 - 09:00

I agree that its not as simple as a boy/girl thing. More dependent upon personality... both nature and nuture in my opinion.
For example, I think DS with PA is more cautious in part because he knows what its like to have food make you sick. DS without PA doesn't -- and definitely enjoys the experience of eating more.

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 6:20am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

My nine year old dd is the pa/tna one. My four year old ds [i]may or may not be pa/tna[/i], but [b]he thinks he is[/b], since we are raising him this way, for now.
In our case my ds deals with it way better than my dd ever did. Of course, to be fair: we are not quite as concerned about him since he has never had a reaction. So he hasn't been raised with the same level of parental fear and anxiety.
Also, since he is the second child we are more relaxed in general. And, he has his older sister as an example of pa just being the "normal" way of things.
The purse thing is true, though. Much more cumbersome for a boy/man to have to carry an epipen around.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 6:39am
Sarahfran's picture
Joined: 06/08/2000 - 09:00

I, too, hadn't really thought about it, but it occurs to me that as they get older, it's certainly more culturally acceptible for girls to think about, talk about, and be picky about food, so being the person in the restaurant as a teenager saying "I can't have any peanuts or peanut products" might well be easier for a girl.

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 7:39am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by deegann:
[b]I haven't thought much about it, since my son is only 3. However, one thing I have thought of is how he will carry his epi-pen in the future. A girl could carry it in her purse. Boys don't have such a convenient way of carrying it. He could put it in a back pack at school, but later on, they can't take a back pack into a nice restaurant!
Don't underestimate how big a deal this becomes as they get older. My friend's DH who is deathly allergic to bee stings keeps his epi in the car (when he remembers it at all) because he won't wear a fanny pack, epi belt, etc. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] The man has already almost died once, is he trying to do it again?
Not to mention older boys tend to be more reckless (think driving, extreme sports, etc.) and careless with their health in general.
I know it can be very individual, but I think having a PA boy is tougher.
Good question, Smack.
[This message has been edited by Going Nuts (edited September 22, 2004).]

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 9:22am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

smack, this question is just SO interesting and the responses you've received have been as well. They've got me thinking. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Now I wonder if my daughter is the way she is because she *can* be whereas Jesse obviously *can't* be.
But see, I still think I'd have a helluva time with Em getting her to wear an Epi-belt and MedicAlert bracelet just because they would make her appear *different* and they would be something she would want to hide, whereas with Jess, it has never been an issue at all.
I think it's a boy/girl *thing* but maybe because I have the boy/girl thing going on in my house to begin with, I don't know.
As far as wearing the Epi-belt when he's older, I'm really hoping that Jess will. I know my DH carries a knapsack everywhere and always has (even at his age still yes [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] ) so if Jesse was anything like his Father, then he could carry the Epi-pen in his knapsack if he didn't feel comfortable wearing it.
I'm trying to envision a shirt, tie, suit scenario (I rarely see men dressed like this - you can tell I don't get out much [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/eek.gif[/img] ) and I do think the Epi-belt is do-able with a suit.
I'm fairly sure Nick wore an Epi-belt. What about erik?
And definitely, my daughter tends to enjoy her food a lot more than her brother and I do think it is because she's not allergic.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 09/22/2004 - 11:47pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

From another thread, but I think you'll understand why I'm posting it here too (or, hopefully you do):-
Oh, blah, first thing in the morning. We get a buzz at our apartment door and it was two girls that live one floor down from us. Now, a lot of times, people will just buzz your apartment to get into the building, period, without coming to your apartment. A lot of times kids.
For some reason, these two girls decided that they wanted to walk to school with my kids. The one girl is in Ember's class and the other girl, her sister, is in Grade 6. I have *issues* with Ember hanging around with the child in her class, but no need to go into them here really.
At any rate, the girls ended up showing up at our door and we're just about to leave to go to school. They're standing in the hall eating something. I asked them what they were eating (I just knew) and it was pb on a bagel.
You feel like screaming GET THE HE** AWAY FROM MY DOOR! but of course you don't. DH spoke with them, explained about Jesse's allergy and said that we couldn't walk to school with them to-day while they were eating pb on bagels.
Jesse, when he heard what they were eating, I think because honestly he's NEVER had anyone come to his door eating pb, he almost jumped back as far as he could from the apartment door. I felt so badly for him. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel when someone shows up at your door with something that could kill you.
We get a rag and take it with us when we're leaving the apartment. Now, I know that if they're eating pb on bagels to-day and buzzing my buzzer and using door knobs, probably not the first time nor will it be the last where the is the possibility of residue. But, when you know, at least try to reduce the risk a bit.
Ask Jesse not to touch anything on the way out of the apartment building and we wipe down all of the doors we exit and the railing on the stairs etc.
We get outside and the girls were actually wandering the street, having finished their bagels. They come up to us and DH asks if it's okay if he washes their hands, which it was. He then goes on to explain why it isn't okay to come to our door with pb and has Jesse show them his Epi-pen and he did a really good job of explaining Jesse's allergy to them.
I have to give him credit because I have that fight or flight response and I probably wouldn't have said anything, just made sure I didn't go near the girls at all.
When we got to the school yard, I asked Ember if she usually runs around the school yard holding the other girl's hand, and yes, she does (see, there's something for smack's thread under Main Discussion - the thing with girls holding hands) and I ask her if it would be okay to-day if she didn't hold hands with the other girl.
It was just like man, why am I dealing with this? I know why, of course. But it's just like what I said. We're not used to anyone just showing up at our door with pb in their hands.
Jess seems okay.
Thanks for listening.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]



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