What would you like families of non-allergic children to know?

Posted on: Sun, 01/07/2007 - 8:11am
gabbytiger's picture
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Joined: 12/08/2005 - 09:00

I was just thinking if I could get one or two points across to parents of non-allergic children, what would they be. I would probably want them to know that my son is a perfectly, healthy and happy child who happens to be peanut allergic. He still loves playdates, birthday parties, and other children, so please do not be afraid to include him your lives. It is possible for him to lead a normal and safe life.

What would you want others to know?

Posted on: Sun, 01/07/2007 - 12:04pm
sacena's picture
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Joined: 07/31/2006 - 09:00

I would tell them all the things that you just said, which are very important things. Then I would add how careful we are in not allowing peanut products around our child. Some parents just don't get how dangerous this allergy is.
There is a parent at my son's school who has said on many occasions "I can assure you that I will never pack any peanut or nut products in ****'s after school snack so he can play with ****". A week later, the kid opens a peanut crunch something or other bar after school. And then many times after that. That's one kid's birthday party we would never go to!

Posted on: Sun, 01/07/2007 - 12:23pm
kelly01's picture
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Joined: 03/19/2001 - 09:00

Hi Gabbytiger:
I would want them to know that not all allergies are not alike, nor do people manage them alike. I might handle things differently than another parent, my son might have more restrictions/less restrictions than others with PA, etc.
I am a pretty approachable person and work at my sons school. Therefore, I get lots of parents who have questions for "what to make that is safe for so and so" with allergies (not my child). It is great that they are asking questions, and using me as a starting off point. But it is hard to get them to understand that just because I let my son have something, doesn't mean that it is okay for another child.
Take care,
Kelly

Posted on: Sun, 01/07/2007 - 1:04pm
joeybeth's picture
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Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

one of the things i would like others to realize is that anaphylaxis and regular allergies (like say, seasonal allergies such as hayfever, etc) are two very different things. others often think i take all these efforts to protect my kids from simple rashes, sneezing and itching. wouldn't it be nice if it were just rashes, itching and sneezing??? one woman recently said to me, after a near ingestion at a restaurant that claimed their crushed butterfinger topping was crushed heath bar, "let it go. just be glad your girls didn't eat it and break out or whatever happens."
hmmmm.....anaphylaxis does not equal breaking out....not from our past experiences.
i would also just like others to occasionally be willing to learn new things and be open to the fact that food allergies can be very serious and that it doesn't take a lot to help minimize risks.
most people i've run into are very helpful and thoughtful. i really can't complain. we are lucky to have such a caring community and family has come around over the years too.

Posted on: Sun, 01/07/2007 - 11:45pm
saknjmom's picture
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Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

To most, I would like to tell them how much I appreciate their thoughtfulness when they are considering my son. I have had moms at his school buy new mixing bowls, spatula, muffin tins hoping he could enjoy cupcakes for bday treats at school. I've had moms order birthday cakes for their child's bday from pn free bakeries so my son wouldn't be left out. I've had moms I'm friends with plan bday parties for their own kids that are also safe for DS. I appreciate their consideration so much. I remember at the end of kindergarden, I wrote every mom in the class a thank you for their help and consideration. They were very touched, as I was that they were so helpful.
There are certain people who I wish could deal with this allergy for a long day with one of thier kids so they would appreciate how much worry and work it is to keep allergic kids safe.
[This message has been edited by saknjmom (edited January 08, 2007).]

Posted on: Mon, 01/08/2007 - 12:58am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

"Do not feed my child anything".
That's the main one. Seems like everybody wants to anyway.

Posted on: Sat, 01/13/2007 - 10:46am
Cindy2's picture
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Joined: 02/24/2006 - 09:00

I would like them to know that just because it doesn't seem like it contains nuts they have to read the label. Also, just because they don't use many nuts in their kitchens or can't remember the last time they did, I don't want them baking for DD. Lastly, we all have our own levels of comfort. Just because other alleric kids in the school eat certain things doesn't mean it's ok for my allergic daugher. I know most people mean well, but sometimes I feel like they're trying to prove something.
Thanks for letting me vent!
------------------
Cindy
Mom to:
Stephanie (12)
Jessica PA/TNA (10)
[This message has been edited by Cindy2 (edited January 13, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/14/2007 - 12:12am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

* No, I'm not crazy-- my daughter [i]can really DIE in a few minutes[/i] from her food allergies. Yes, even without actually EATING the food.
* Please observe our rules about food. Do not bring food into my house. Do not feed DD anything. She can not stay where there are nut/pn products. All of these are necessary for DD's safety. We have developed them over many years of hard experience, and it makes us uncomfortable when you plead with us, demand, or sneakily try to break them.
In addition, my absolute biggest pet peeve of all time is selfish people who think that they need to EAT everywhere-- and then find (inconveniently, I am sure) that they have no way to dispose of trash in those places, therefore leaving it wherever it falls or they tuck it. This is an unbelievable mine field for an FA toddler, and it still makes every trip out of our house a spin at roulette.

Posted on: Sun, 01/14/2007 - 12:49am
momll70's picture
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Joined: 09/26/2006 - 09:00

I would like to say that no peanuts means "no peanuts". I have been told "this is a peanut free classroom" only to find out one day they were about to serve ice-cream with peanuts on top. What is peanut free about that?
[This message has been edited by momll70 (edited January 14, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/14/2007 - 1:17am
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

First off thank you to those who understand.
To the others:
I am not over reacting.
I know what I am doing.
Yes I have plenty of other things in my life besides teaching my son to keep himself safe.
I am not making him nervous. He does not have PA because I make him nervous.
Yes a peanut can kill my son. I'd rather not show you how.
Please do not try to get my son to taste foods he is reluctant to eat. If he does not eat he'll be fine.
(this is all in the past my son is 22 now!)
Peg
[This message has been edited by Peg541 (edited January 14, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 01/14/2007 - 1:45am
momll70's picture
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Joined: 09/26/2006 - 09:00

This is for everyone that keeps saying that the reason so many kids are diagnosed with allergies is because the doctors test for too many things (no matter how many times in the past few years I keep saying that DS had a reaction before he got tested):
Keep your eye on the pendulum. You are getting sleepy... when you wake up you will understand everything I have to say....etc, etc.
[This message has been edited by momll70 (edited January 14, 2007).]

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