What to do about horrible daycare experience?

Posted on: Sun, 02/22/2004 - 5:00pm
Satori's picture
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Joined: 02/23/2004 - 09:00

We found out my 3 yr old dd is PA after a child who had just eaten PN butter crackers touched her and she went into anaphylaxis within minutes at age 2. (I'm severely allergic so its not in the house so she was never exposed) We've not had another incident since, she's been in preschool since age 2 for speech issues and both schools she has attended were fantastic about her PA and without argument made her classes and playground PN free. Now here's the problem, when I put dd in a home daycare almost a yr ago I stressed how severe her allergy is and they assured me they had no problem going PN free. I pick up dd Friday and guess what's going on?? The kids are shelling and eating peanuts at the kitchen table! There's shell debris all over the place and another kid is sweeping it up and flinging it all over the place! I ask her what's going on and why are they eating peanuts and her response is "I do serve peanuts and its not like she's in the room!" (she was 10 feet away in the living room) So we get the heck out of there and by the time we get home dd is coughing pretty bad, her eyes are horribly back screaming allergic reaction and her nose is a river. I double dosed her with Binadryl followed by Prednisone and prayed we didn't need the epi too. Thankfully within 15 minutes the reaction stopped but I am so mad! I have been looking for another daycare for a while because of other issues but as soon as I mention the PA they refuse to deal with it. She is on a waiting list for a PN free daycare/preschool but its looking like it wont open up till this summer. As far as I'm concerned they are FIRED and I don't know what I'm going to do for child care. Tomorrow I'm giving her her "2 week notice" and CC'ing a copy to the state who pays for it and to licensing as well since this shows gross negligence in the care of a child in my opinion. What else can I do?

Posted on: Sun, 02/22/2004 - 6:21pm
toomanynuts's picture
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Joined: 08/23/2003 - 09:00

I am so sorry for you and your dd. What a horrible experience. I would be so mad!
I would definately let the State Department know and the licensing department that is such horrible negligence of your little one.
What were your reasons for putting her in a home daycare based on the previous safe preschools she attended? Why did the home daycare tell you that they had no problem going peanut free then have peanuts when they know she would react? Do you have to give her a 2 week notice or can you just remove your daughter and never bring her back? Sounds to me like the home daycare isn't really taking your dd safety into consideration nor do they really understand PA.
Could you put her in a friends or families home that is aware of her PA until you find her another preschool. If you lived near us our home is Peanut Free she could stay with us [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] My dd is 3 she is PA/TNA and she is airborne and contact reactive. So I know that if I was in your situation (as probably any of the parents here would be) I would be so angry!!!
I am glad that your dd was okay and did not have an anaphylactic reaction. I still so very sorry that she had to go through that. I hope that you don't have to take her back there.
Maybe one of the other parents here could give you more advise. Just wanting to offer some type of support!
[This message has been edited by toomanynuts (edited February 23, 2004).]

Posted on: Sun, 02/22/2004 - 8:15pm
Claire's picture
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Joined: 04/19/2000 - 09:00

I do not think a 2 week notice is necessary. She has put your child in danger. I would never go back into that house again.
I myself have been doing day care all of my life and would certainly respect the wish of the parent.
Best of luck to you. claire

Posted on: Sun, 02/22/2004 - 11:45pm
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Well, how badly do you have to work right now? 2 weeks notice is not sufficient, take her out today. They jeopardized your child's life in a place she was supposed to be safe.
Peg

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 1:04am
Sarahfran's picture
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Joined: 06/08/2000 - 09:00

I agree with the others--take her out now and skip that two week notice!
Did you get it in writing when you placed your child in her care that the daycare would be peanut free? If you did, that'll make your case stronger when the licensing board sees it (not that you don't already have a great cause for questioning the provider's qualifications).
We had a somewhat similar situation when my DD was two. She's been in the same home daycare since she was three months old. She was diagnosed with PA when she was 18 months (although that was just the official diagnosis; we already knew she was allergic because of a reaction she had at 12 months). We discussed it with her DCP, and she was fine with going peanut free--or so we thought! Turns out she went peanut free with all of the snacks she provided, but she didn't notify other parents about my DD's allergy, and my DD ended up having a bad reaction at about two years old when she got her hands on another child's peanut butter crackers. Because of the long relationship we had at that point, we didn't pull my DD out immediately, but rather took that opportunity to educate our DCP futher about food allergies. My DD is still in the same daycare and hasn't had any reactions in the three years since then. I think Claire's immediate and very frightening reaction was more of an incentive than anything I said, though!
But you have neither the long relationship with this provider nor reason to think she may change her ways. This doesn't mean, however, that other providers are necessarily the same way. I'd go interview as many home based providers as you can (if you can take time off of work, that would be ideal, since taking the time off now to find a good daycare provider will mean fewer hassles and less time lost from work later) and see if you can find any willing to accomodate you. Someone new to home daycare might be perfect--if they are just getting started, they'll be in a better position to set rules for children from the start so no one will have to change any behavior. New daycare providers also tend to have their own young child/children at home, so you could educate her about the dangers of food allergies and avoiding contact with highly allergenic foods before age three, so she'd have incentive for keeping peanut-free for the sake of her own children!
Good luck!
Sarah

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 2:06am
Satori's picture
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Joined: 02/23/2004 - 09:00

Thank you everyone [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] My dd will not be going back and a friend is going to watch her while I look for child care again. As far as I know I've called every daycare around and no one is willing to take a PA kid [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img] The only one that does is the one she's on a waiting list for and even her preschool has tried getting her in sooner because she's being kicked out of her current preschool for being to advanced for her class now (speech emersion class and now she never shuts up! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] which would mean a full day at daycare which would be really bad for other reasons. There's a lot of other issues going on at that daycare but this was the last straw. My contract with her and the state say I am required to give a 2 week notice but in my notice I'll be outlining all the reasons why she's being removed (I'll state all the issues that have been going on) and I'll CC a copy to the dept that pays for my childcare and licensing. I'm a single mom with no other source of income besides my job so taking time off is not an option. I'm hoping I can talk my friend into watching her till there's an opening at the new preschool (full day program).

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 2:10am
StaceyK's picture
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Joined: 05/06/2003 - 09:00

Not willing to take a PA kid? I believe that is illegal unless they are Church-based daycares. My solution to this would be for me to stop working and stay with my PA child, but that is not possible for everyone.

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 4:35am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

I agree with everyone else: screw the two week notice. They put your daughter's life at risk, and violated their agreement with you that the day care was to be peanut free.
I also agree that you should pursue these schools that say they will not take a peanut allergic child. If they accept any federal money at all, they must comply with the ADA, and a peanut allergy qualifies as a disability under the act. From the little you've described your situation, it seems that the daycare facilities you are investigating accept government money, so I can't imagine that they don't qualify. You might be able to get them to come around just be pointing that out. If not, talk to a lawyer.
And lastly, kicking your child out of preschool because she's too advanced??!!! What the heck is going on with that? Of course you want a preschool situation that is going to be challenging for your child, but in your circumstances this seems to be a bit extreme, and is further complicating your problems. I think at the least you should insist that she be able to stay at her current preschool until you find a suitable replacement.
Good luck.

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 4:55am
CorinneM1's picture
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Joined: 06/20/2002 - 09:00

I agree with Claire. I would not be going back there if I was in your position and I would not need to give her a 2 week notice.

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 5:14am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Kim M:
[b]And lastly, kicking your child out of preschool because she's too advanced??!!! What the heck is going on with that? Of course you want a preschool situation that is going to be challenging for your child, but in your circumstances this seems to be a bit extreme, and is further complicating your problems. [/b]
Don't have a clue about any other situation, but wrt *my own personal, highly individual, and unique situation*,.............
My youngest cub will be *dismissed* from the Early Intervention Program he now attends (through public education), now age 4, come the end of the school year. Apparently, he is functioning in many aspects well above his age level. I am being told his speech has been remedied and he is now even [i]overly linguistic[/i]. (Way to come out of the shell) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] [b]Imagine That. Who woulda thunk it? [i]No surprises here.[/i] Seems to run in the family. Although I give much credit to the many wonderful, dedicated, and [i]extremely patient[/i] and [i]intuitive[/i] individuals and teachers who have lovingly [i]guided[/i] him. His primary teacher is a joy and a treasure. I cannot say his success would have been achieved without their compassion and concern and talents. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
He was primarily in the program due to a *speech delay* --- didn't [i]speak[/i] more than *no*, *Momma*, and *hi* at nearly age 4. I will admit though, *I* have always been communicative with him and visa versa. Even if not spoken.
I will add he is scheduled to attend another program (pre-K type of deal) for *at risk* children. I am told it will be an age/grade level appropriate program. I truly thank these people. Staying in the current program is *not an option*. I will admit he seems very *adjusted* to the current program and really really really *enjoys* it. No surprises. It is probably very comfortable for him, and in many ways. Afterall, he is "King".
Sometimes, however, being "King" is not always *appropriate*. Again, only with regard to *my own personal, highly individual, and unique situation. Gotta admit, *I* have become very comfortable with the program as well and teared up at the thought of him leaving it. I still do.
Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. I don't even have answers to some of *my* own questions. And I have many questions.

Posted on: Mon, 02/23/2004 - 8:12pm
abbylukesmom's picture
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Joined: 08/28/2003 - 09:00

Satori
Where are you from? I know several extremely reliable private sitters in my area. Maybe someone else close to you will know someone too.

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