Quote:Originally posted by Cindy Spowart Cook:
[b]
yuckypeanutdad, welcome! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I'd also like to *tell* you not to be too hard on yourself. My husband was in denial until my son had his second anaphylactic reaction and almost died.
You've "got it" now. That's what matters.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[/b]
Thats a great way to look at it... Thanks!

Cindy and William's Mummy what great threads !
The biggest mistake that we made were not reseraching enough about PA.
Before buying a car or a camera, I research everything on the web. But before feeding my baby, I did not find out about the foods that I should have avoided until she grew older.
After finding out she was PB, we mentioned it to our pediatrician. Although the ped said it was a serious allergy she neither gave us anymore info nor prescribed the epipen. And we were happy with not giving her any obvious peanut foods and never researched anything until another accidental exposure at a party (thank god, just hives, but still went to the ER and the ER doctor (bless him) gave us a 15 minute lecture on PA and its potential severity.
Stay safe everybody.

Biggest screw up I ever did was taking a bite of a cookie I wasn't sure of, when I had a cold and couldn't rely on my sense of smell or taste as a warning. I didn't realize it was a pb cookie, not a sugar cookie, until my mouth and throat started swelling up. Dumb, dumb move that no one should ever make.

My DH brought bakery cookies into the house for Hanukkah. Our son has grown up on these cookies. DS asked should he have one, I was thinking calories, DS was thinking peanuts and DH was thinking Holiday treat.
I said it's up to you still thinking calories.
DH said go ahead it's Hanukkah.
DS took one bite and WHAM. Epi pen, Benadryl, Off to the ER for about 7 hours and sick for days after that.
DS was 15 and this was his second big reaction, the first being one year earlier. He was diagnosed at age 5 from routine allergy testing.
Somehow I think it was good for all of us because we just saw how sensitive DS was and how quickly a reaction happens and how really horrible this PA is.
But we also got to see what a wonderfully well oiled machine we are and how we act in crisis situations.
I took DS to the hospital (another mistake, should have called 911) and DH stayed home with his mother. I kept in touch with DH the whole time and honestly was more worried about him than I was about DS.
DH was beating himself up for bringing the cookies into the house and encouraging DS to eat one. He was a mess. I've never heard him that upset or sad.
All in all DS did fine after getting over the effects of all of the drugs he had in the ER and we all learned to respect his PA much much more than ever before.
And the cookie? It was not a peanut cookie but had sat in the same display case as the peanut cookies. The bakery now labels their display cases for peanut and we stay away.
Peg

Boy, this could be a long list!
-Not going to the doctor for my DD's reactions just because they weren't helpful the 1st time and had no comment on the matter at well-child checks
-Not researching PA (like someone else said, I research everything else, why the lapse here?)
-Putting a peanut butter-covered knife into the jelly jar
-Thinking "may contain" and "processed on/in" labels were for people with terribly serious allergies, and therefore ignoring them
-Thinking it was okay to take chances as long as I had Benadryl with DD
-Trying to talk DD out of having a reaction ("have a drink of water, you probably just don't like the way that feels in your mouth" - ya think?)
-Waiting to see if the reaction gets serious before getting medical attention
-Going to our regular urgent care clinic instead of the nearest emergency room when DD was wheezing and coughing
-Not using the Epi-Pen
-Letting DD be around people eating peanut butter and letting her eat off of dishes washed with peanut butter dishes
-Not speaking up about her allergy and asking family members that peanut food not be served while she's there
We're lucky she's still alive. At least we've finally gotten an education and she's given us lots of chances to find out how to be careful without most reactions being serious.

Just two:
Because our "debut," if you will, was anaphylaxis that nearly killed our daughter, we were appropriately frightened to start with. We didn't live in denial very much. We really did do a lot of things right. I have to remind myself of that.
-- NOT taking anaphylaxis as seriously as we should. (Out of not wanting to frighten our daughter?? I don't even know... clearly she was already terrified if she was screaming like that, so I don't know what difference it would have made for us to be visibly upset....) We also didn't apply pressure to [i]hospital staff[/i] who didn't check the appropriate vital signs... like BP. You can still die with O2 sats that are normal. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] Allergist later instructed us to make as much fuss as we need to in order to get appropriate care... work it out with law enforcement later. (I think he was kidding about that part.)
--Not asking "pushy" or "unpleasant" questions becuase I didn't [i]really[/i] want to know the answers. It took several years worth of trace and ultratrace exposures from shared lines before I finally [i]got this[/i]. I may come across as rude or even abrasive now, but I trust my instincts and I know knowledge is POWER.
These were both, coincidentally, very big issues for my DH and I emotionally. We don't want to be the resident medical experts when we go to the EMERGENCY ROOM, for heaven's sakes. That is very frightening. Both of us are classic authority pleasers, too, which makes talking back to someone in a uniform almost impossible.
We also didn't want to have to admit that most of the "control" that we think we can exert over food at home is illusory and depends upon events and people so far removed from us.... well. We're major control freaks and this was very difficult to let go of. But knowledge really is power.
Up to a point. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] We also went through a stage where we wanted "Just the facts, ma'am..." but ALL of them. Major data collection mode. And what it all meant.
*sigh* Aye, there's the rub, though. Much of the data you can collect with respect to FA is open to various interpretations. Even the experts don't agree on a lot of things. Then we realized that data was only as good as how we plan to use it. So now we ask, what will we do about this data? If the answer is "nothing" then it isn't worth doing.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited February 23, 2006).]

Re peanut allergy specific? Nothing.
Jason
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[b]* Obsessed * [/b]

Biggest mistake was not using the anapen when we should have and looking back, it was so obvious that it was needed. DD was completely hoarse after having vomited. At the time, our reaction was so slow - I just remember feeling complete panic and helplessness. Next time I won't hesitate for a second - I've learnt my lesson hopefully.

Not making a fuss. People pleasing. I spent my whole life trying to do both when most people around me never cared what they said or did.
When I had children I quickly realized what it meant to be an advocate. If I do not stand up for them when they are small and defenseless then who will?
It was so emotionally freeing for me. I could rightly make any kind of fuss I wanted to. Not rudely or out of context but boy did I fuss.
The three times we have been in the ER with anaphylaxis I demanded we be admitted past the locked doors IMMEDIATELY. It worked well two times but the last time security tried to surround me just as the doors were opening and we got help.
I would have welcomed security because any attention is good attention when you have a child with potential anaphylaxis lingering in a waiting room next to a candy machine that serves Reeses anythings!
I throw that word "anaphylaxis" around to anyone who will listen. Also "shock." If they do not understand I say "DEAD" and they listen.
People respect me and I don't think I have too many that think I'm nuts except for my nurse friend who rolls her eyes if she hears PA. Remember she is the one who let her two son's ear drums perforate with ear infections and still brought them to school instead of to the doctor.
She can roll her eyes any day she wants because that sort of person I DO NOT have to please.
I taught my son all of the above too. So when push comes to shove and he has to handle an anaphylactic reaction alone he can speak up for himself too.
I have an acquaintance who makes a fuss too but she is different. She makes a fuss about everything and people do not listen to her any more because she is plain crazy.
We can make noise and get others to listen to us and still maintain their respect for us. It works I've done it.
I think anyone who knew me in my early years would not recognize who I am today.
peg