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Posted on: Fri, 07/12/2002 - 12:22am
mae's picture
Joined: 07/12/2002 - 09:00

The biggest mistake we made was not using the epi pen when we should have. We were just sitting down in a restaurant, when my son (PA/TNA) who was only 2 at the time, grabbed a piece of flatbread out of a bread basket on the table and put it in his mouth. Within 10 seconds he started vomiting - lots.
My husband and I strugged to get him out of his high chair, while trying to figure out if he was choking or having a reaction. When he finally stopped throwing up, we realized he was trying to get air in, not the bread out or down, and that he had just had a reaction. Once he got it out of his system, he seemed fine. No hives or swelling.
We cleaned up and went home - very upset. In retrospect, I know that we should have used the epi pen and called 911. We were so shaken we didn't even think to take him to an ER to have him checked out.
I wouldn't hesistate to use the epi pen now. Our GP explained that it wouldn't have worsened the situation (if he'd been choking) - which I was worried about.
Good topic!

Posted on: Fri, 07/12/2002 - 4:11am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

mae, welcome! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
That was also our biggest mistake. When Jesse had his second anaphylactic reaction, we didn't administer the Epi-pen until he had every symptom of anaphylaxis except passing out. He almost died.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 07/13/2002 - 3:35am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Another "mistake" I made was assuming that the school would take appropriate action(s)after I educated them about our child's PA. It took me a L-O-N-G time to accept that the only person who would make sure that my dd was safe at school was me... even with an excellent and cooperative staff and a written IHP in place. It's exhausting and I still get frustrated, but overall I've accepted this as the reality of my situation and my role in it.

Posted on: Sun, 07/14/2002 - 9:46am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Gail, I really think you've hit the nail on the head as far as alleviating stress and frustation - acceptance of our situation. I believe I've now recognized that there is always going to be something that comes up at Jesse's school that doesn't adhere to his school plan (my biggest thing is my being the food monitor for the whole school). I spent the first two years of him being in school banging my head against what I felt was a brick wall. I've finally stopped doing that, to the best of my abilities.
I really do think that until we accept that we are going to run into different situations that can be difficult or scary, we can feel constantly stressed and frustrated.
Acceptance. I feel you've really got that right.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sun, 07/14/2002 - 11:01am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

Hi Cindy! I appreciated your response.
Yes, there WILL always be things that come up at school, and OFTEN it seems! It was a dilemna for me for years because I, on the one hand, had a great deal of respect for the school staff and knew they were good, smart, and honorable in wanting to do "the right thing". They were generous with their time with me, did lots of staff training, etc. etc. But I felt I was going crazy and often angry that they wouldn't catch things. I was constantly reacting to the multiple things that were falling through the cracks. Our IHP helped by proactively addressing many of the issues, but the bottom line is that it is really up to the parent to know what is going on at school at all times. I guess I believed that at some point I wouldn't need to be very involved at school, that a 504/IHP or someone would somehow take the burden off of me...rescue me. Know what I me? But it was hard for me to learn that this is my absolute job, my duty as the parent, and that it is without respite.
I know that probably sounds depressing, but my acceptance of this actually makes it feel less so. Acceptance does lessen the stress.
Gail [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 07/16/2002 - 12:47pm
JanetE's picture
Joined: 04/17/2002 - 09:00

This sounds incredibly irresponsible and boneheaded now, but I began using soybean butter at home last spring as a PB substitute for my PA son. I then packed it in his school lunch a few times when we were low on groceries. Everyone in this class knows about his PA and he explained to them about the soybean butter. So far, so good, right?
But weeks later a classmate put his peanut butter sandwich in my son's lunchbox when he wasn't looking as a "joke". My son thought it was his soybean butter sandwich and nearly ate it. Crisis was averted this time (narrowly), but I will NEVER pack anything in his lunch box again that could be confused with peanut butter or peanuts. I never dreamed this scenario would happen!

Posted on: Tue, 07/16/2002 - 2:44pm
Carefulmom's picture
Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

My big mistake was believing that imitation (soy) ice cream that did not state was on shared equipment with peanuts was not a "may contain". I have since checked on all the imitation ice creams (Rice Dream, Toffuti Cuties, etc.), and they are ALL on shared equipment with peanuts. So without knowing it, I was giving my daughter may contains for years. I would warn everyone not to give their pa child any store bought real or imitation ice cream without checking with the company to see if it is on shared equipment. If it is, it is really a may contain and not stated. The soy ice cream I gave was also on shared equipment with milk and not stated. Hard to see the logic in that since most people are buying it because of milk allergy.
[This message has been edited by Carefulmom (edited July 17, 2002).]

Posted on: Wed, 07/17/2002 - 2:40am
yuckypeanutdad's picture
Joined: 07/15/2002 - 09:00

So far, my biggest mistake, which I much regret, was not believing he was allergic.... Way back when he was about 18 months old I gave him a bite of a peanut butter cup.. he threw up and went purple, and had a horse throat for the rest of the night but otherwise was ok... Not even thinking it could be a PA, I continued eating peanut butter, and peanuts around him... I never gave him anymore peanut products, cause it was always in the back of my mind, but my wife and I continued having peanut butter every morning etc... Man are we lucky.... Now were are strict and don't even allow "may contain traces" products in the house, nor to be eaten by us out of the house...

Posted on: Wed, 07/17/2002 - 2:54am
katiee's picture
Joined: 05/09/2001 - 09:00

*ALWAYS listen to that inner voice (not to well meaning family members who say... "oh, he's fine")!.
*NEVER hesitate to give the epi-pen
*ALWAYS call an 911, never try to drive to hospital yourself!

Posted on: Wed, 07/17/2002 - 3:47am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

JanetE., how old is your son? Soybutter had been posted on this website as a good alternative to pb. When my son started school where we live now, I realized I actually lived in a place where I could find soy butter if I wanted to (the previous town we lived in I couldn't). I was going to suggest to the school that we have a taste testing thing and offer it as an alternative to non-PA parents for the peanut free classroom.
I spoke with my DH about this and his response was that he felt it would be confusing to people and that you may not be able to tell the difference. Now, I've never seen soy butter so I have no idea. Sometimes, my DH surprises me at how enlightened or how he can look at a situation totally different than I can. Me, I was trying to appease people and think of an almost equal substitute, but he immediately thought about the possible dangers of the substitution. And your post proved it!
However, I wouldn't beat myself up about it!
Seriously! It has been posted on this website as an alternative to pb and I do know a few members that do use it. Maybe it's something they just use in their homes and don't send to the school, I don't know.
What I feel absolutely terrible (and there has to be a stronger word) about is that some other child would actually do this to your son. I have spent most of this year with my Jesse being bullied, but interestingly enough, it hasn't had to do with his allergy.
Are you able to speak with the class at the beginning of the school year and let them know how serious the allergy is? What that child did, perhaps he does think is a joke, but it's not. He needs to be educated. It also sounds as though your son doesn't have a "peanut free" classroom or peanut free table in the cafeteria. Are you able to have one implemented?
See, again, I wouldn't totally blame yourself.
yuckypeanutdad, welcome! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I'd also like to *tell* you not to be too hard on yourself. My husband was in denial until my son had his second anaphylactic reaction and almost died.
You've "got it" now. That's what matters.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]


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