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Posted on: Tue, 01/07/2003 - 1:24am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Lisa said:
Quote:My respect is for those who deserve respect. I still do not believe this woman respected her son enough to be concerned about his welfare. She was concerned about herself.
This made me so angry last night that I had to wait until this morning to answer.
However, I haven't really calmed down all that much, so to put it bluntly, who the hell do you think you are? Everyone on this board deserves your respect if you intend to participate. You do not get to decide who gets respect and who doesn't. I continue to be confused as to why you think Peg didn't respect or have concern for her son, but that is almost beside the point because you don't really seem to care about being a productive part of this support group. You remind me of my husband's sister who continually says hurtful things and excuses herself because they are "true." They are true only in her own mind, of course, just as your conviction that another poster is a bad parent is true only in your own mind. Kelly said it very well that it doesn't take any more time to say something with tact and respect than it does to say it with harshness, and it makes your point more likely to be heard in the first place. I have continued to try to respond to you because in my mind you were not just a garden variety troll but a woman with a PA daughter who could be an important part of this community. And I have tried to express myself without attacking you, although it was pretty hard at times. But I am done with it now. Your vindictive pettiness and know-it-all arrogance makes it clear that you are not worth the effort. (And yes, I am aware that I have stepped over the line into personal attacks. Deserved, in my opinion.)
And as a last comment, saying that you are not going to apologize because everyone else should apologize to you first is the most childish thing I have heard from a supposed adult in a very long time.
Cindy: I am glad you responded to sport as you did (I think it was actually in the other thread, but they are running together in my mind), because I was thinking the same thing. Legitimate complaints about one teacher do not tar the entire profession.
Nick: I have no idea what other thread went so bad that you are thinking about leaving (and I'm hoping that I can resist the impulse to track it down, but probably not), but that would be a tragedy. I can't think of anything that would stop me from coming here, at least as a lurker, so I hope you reconsider. For Erik's sake, if for nothing else.
To everyone else, thank you for being here. You have been the source of much comfort and information and amusement.
[This message has been edited by Kim M (edited January 07, 2003).]
[This message has been edited by Kim M (edited January 07, 2003).]

Posted on: Tue, 01/07/2003 - 1:56am
California Mom's picture
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Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Two important items:
Nick, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE! I always appreciate your comments, your insight, and your humor. Don't let one or two bad apples ruin the bunch; I beg you!
#2 I have been thinking a lot about Lisa and her issues. I think she is a person who likes to get a lot of attention, even if it is negative. She is probably really happy that she has gotten so many of us in a tizzy that we have several threads going which have become about "her", basically. I am going to stop giving her the satisfaction, (after this [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]) by not getting involved any further. So many of us have attempted to be reasonable, to no avail. Yes, I am being mean by attacking one person: that is not my usual style at all. I apologize to anyone I may offend. At this point I am not concerned about offending Lisa because she obviously does not mind offending others, and I am sick and tired of it. You can see by my original post in this thread (first answer to Lisa) how tactful and nice I have tried to be.
I will never leave this place. It is too important to me. I believe I have a lot to offer and a lot to learn. I welcome new-comers whole heartedly, and I cherish and respect all the "old timers", too.
Again, plese stay Nick! I wish I could remember which was the "dog saliva" thread. I am so curious to know what on earth has happened there! Maybe Cindy will e-mail me the link. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] I saw it at least several days ago before it had gotten too ugly.
My best wishes to all. Let's continue on with our support group without getting dragged down. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam

Posted on: Tue, 01/07/2003 - 3:16am
Going Nuts's picture
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Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Nick,
Please don't make us beg... OK, I'm begging - Pleeeez stay! Pretty please?
Amy [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 01/07/2003 - 3:34am
LisaMcDowell's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2002 - 09:00

Hi Cindy,
I still believe it is polite to either wait for an invitation or ask to be invited into someone else's even w/e-mail (home. And by not doing the polite thing, can this be interpreted as an excuse for stalking?
I've noticed that in some posts you have suggested to people that they post elsewhere. You are the person I learned it from. Why are you allowed to do this? It gives the impression that not only are my posts being policed everyone else's are & will be also.
As for insisting on telling people what to do...why choose to read something or continue reading something you don't like?
Is it possible that the things I said just were not ready to be heard?
And since some of you insist on referring to the other thread, you will finally notice a change from "I" to "we", and fortunately God provided a coordinator w/enough food allergy awareness training to provide direction. I see this as a lesson to prepare my daughter for young adulthood & to take responsibility especially because she has a potentially lethal peanut allergy. Even if I did not prepare her properly, & it could be corrected w/time I do not want to take any unnecessary chances or have my daughter feel overwhelmed w/responsibility. End of story.
Yes, Nick...I believe w/some support groups there is a time for one to leave. I believe it is when one has come full circle or those that want to invest their time in crusading for their cause or in my case when I have completed my work by having my questions answered to benefit me & others.
While thinking about my PA Awareness presentation, I have become quite concerned that even those w/a PA child or PA young adult are somehow not getting enough PA information on all its aspects; even those that are adults or have reached young adulthood(reference to "What would you do?, the possibility also it exists that this young man knows how to manange his allergy & is aware of what could cause a reaction (ingestion, tactile or airborne or all three) so that he feels comfortable w/out carrying an Epi-pen and that others just feel uncomfortable by it...I'll have to ask PA adults).
PA is "manageable", but first one must recognize the tools then use them w/the understanding that one does have "control" and is willing to take "control" to use appropriately and effectively.
It has been demonstrated to me by others & by my own personal experience of the mistakes one can inadvertently make, or by simply choosing to use "tools" ineffectively or inappropriately. One can be ineffective by not stating their needs appropriately by not having a clear idea of what one needs and can be made unclear to the person listening when emotions are too involved. Likewise, a condition even an allergy can be used to promote awareness or it can be used to gain personal attention or used to gain special privileges or to depend on others or what have you.
In all my years of working w/people w/disease & those associated w/them, I never found a more effective way conducting a "wake-up call" to denial. I attended numerous seminars, classes, searched through psychology books, talked w/people, etc. "Denial" of anything is a strong shield, almost inpenetrable. For most it takes something very serious to happen or someone shouting in one's face w/a wake-up call to reality. I was in denial of my disease, and I see it very possible for others to be in the same place.
By the way Cindy, why is Momma Bear allowed to kick me out of her smoking survey post?
The purpose of my questions is to get answers to them. I hope you can respect that because I know that when I am talking w/people about my daughter's PA and they ask questions like "is it just peanuts or can she also react to peanut butter" or "can I give her a Nutter Butter cookie while we talk". I respect them by allowing them to "learn" by answering their questions w/out prejudice & recognizing the desire to learn...even if no one respects the me, its okay, but the thread is being clogged & it is causing difficulty in finding the answers to the questions not only for myself, but for others. Now I have clogged up this post by sidestepping the original topic with explaining myself. Let's proceed w/the matter at hand, shall we.

Posted on: Tue, 01/07/2003 - 4:26am
Kim M's picture
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Joined: 06/09/2001 - 09:00

Lisa, you may have your ideas about what is and is not polite, but message board convention is that if your email is public, others may use it. If you only want people to use your email by invitation, then you should make your email address unavailable. And being "impolite" is not remotely akin to stalking.

Posted on: Thu, 01/09/2003 - 3:16pm
KarenH's picture
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Joined: 09/21/2002 - 09:00

Actually, if it's public (an e-mail address) then how is it any different then having a phone number? People can look you up at any time and phone you. Companies sell e-mail address lists, and advertising sends e-mail to you. If it was stalking, then that would be illegal.

Posted on: Fri, 01/10/2003 - 2:45am
LisaMcDowell's picture
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Joined: 12/06/2002 - 09:00

Let's try this again, I will re-post this topic under "What is this support group about?"

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