What is going on here?

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 12:15am
Tina H.'s picture
Joined: 10/13/1999 - 09:00

For those of you who are "regulars" to these boards, you must be aware of the underlying tension and animosity that has arisen in many of the recent posts. I, for one, am disappointed at what is going on. How can we judge each other? We all know that this allergy, because of its serious potential, tends to cause much anxiety. And, each of us, because of the varying level and severity of previous reactions, are destined to have different comfort levels. A parent who has witnessed their child go into full anaphylactic shock will undoubtedly handle day to day activities differently than a parent who's child has repeatedly gotten a rash or a few hives. Because we all know that we can't predict the severity of the next reaction, we must all be prepared to handle an emergency situation if it should arise. But, in the meantime, we all have to live our lives the way that suits us best. We cannot dictate to others how they should lead their lives. While some are content living in fear, others refuse to live that way. And, that is their choice. I cannot understand why some of us have chosen to judge others on these boards. We are here to help each other and to learn from eachother. There is no right or wrong answer.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 12:29am
Linda-Jo's picture
Joined: 07/30/1999 - 09:00

Bravo!! Well said. We all are raising our children the best way that we know how in the best efforts to keep them safe. We are lucky to have these boards for suupport and advice. Advice that we choose to accept or ignore, depending on our situations and what works best for each of us. The outcome of it all is raising a happy, well-adjusted child and keeping them safe forever!

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 1:08am
peanutboard's picture
Joined: 10/24/2000 - 09:00

I don't think it is a case of trying to dictate how others should handle their child's peanut allergy. It was an attempt to call on all of us (myself) included to take a step back and evaluate if we are focusing more on the pa, than we are the whole child.
I take suggestions on treating PA about a thousand times better coming from another pa mom. Why, because I know it's a case of "been there, done that." That doesn't mean I will blindly follow along, or even that I will agree with what they suggest. But, I will take it in the spirit it was intended. I have never seen a single poster that wasn't here to learn or help.
And as for this being a support board, I guess I have a different interpretation of support than some of you. To me, support isn't about posting "way to go, great idea!" underneath a post that I disagree with. It also isn't to begin cursing at somebody that disagrees with me.
What it is, is to have a meaningful dialouge that in the END helps our children.
And if we don't challenge each other, and educate each other, what is the point? I may as well be talking to the mirror.
It is from you, that I have learned. It is from me, that some of you can learn. And, many times, we learn from our differences. We are doing ourselves a great disservice if we don't allow our true opinions to be heard.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 7:51am
morgansmom's picture
Joined: 04/29/2000 - 09:00

...but be brave and courageous!!! ...don't use an alias!!!

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 8:07am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I'll admit I haven't been as active on this site as I was in the summer...(my schooling takes up MOST of this reason)....but also, I too have been disappointed in the change. Often I will respond with how I truly feel....and it appears at times as the "devils advocate"....however, I feel that is important. I am 23....been hospitalized, carried epis, been stuck without them....but my peanut allergy is NOT something that I think of daily, or weekly. and I like to re-emphasize that it in NO way dictated my schooling, my play groups or anything else. My mom educated me, and then others that I was around....but it wasn't that BIG of a deal. accidents happened...and even if we lived in a peanut free bubble...they would still happen....or something else would.
I support everyone's fear....I've been there first hand....and your children will too. Prevention is key, but I like to respond extreme at times...to hopefully pull some of the other extremists back to another middle ground.
I was shocked when I heard parents talk about home-schooling because of the allergy, or about IEPs......I tried to educate that the federal money for those services and (very few of it)....is primarily for multi-handicapped children....and if you spent one day with that kind of care, my god, you'd never breathe allergy again.
Again...this is a SUPER place for support, but sometimes, to be honest....I DO think people lose sight of their child. and being PA myself...and at the highest sensitivity to it...I feel I am in a place to say that. PLEASE do not let it run your life. it is a scary thing...but in retrospect....you have very healthy and normal children. That is how they should be treated. But....try and respect the PA adults who have lived through it without all the over-protection. WE may not agree with every decision made...and it isn't our place to....but we might provide some insight you didn't think of.
Trust me.....things are much better in this day than they were in the last decade....acknowledge the progress!

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 9:06am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Jdickson6, it's posts like yours that I find so encouraging. I had mentioned something to Andy along those lines on another thread (the one that became so contentious, in fact!). It is so heartening for me to read a post like yours and hope that my daughter will grow up with a healthy sense about dealing with her allergies, and not let fear run her life.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 11:30am
Changed by office's picture
Joined: 11/06/2006 - 09:00


Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 12:02pm
Stacy's picture
Joined: 10/11/2000 - 09:00

jdickson6 I liked your reply. I feel that educating those around us and our children in a non threatening way is the best way to protect our children. There are so many things that can happen to a child that we have no control over, that we have to have faith. I've seen things happen to children that a dose of benadryl or epi won't fix, and yes these things can also happen to our PA children. So what do we do? We educate them and those around them. When they are younger we guide them. But the time comes when we have faith that we have taught them well and we trust them. Accidents may happen, but they can happen to anyones child and we deal with it when it happens. An accidental peanut ingestion is treatable, a child accidently hit by a car is not always so. When I first started reading some posts I was frantic, and then someone pointed out some of the real tragadies that I could be living with and I felt grateful that I am only dealing with PA right now. With so much diabetes in my and my husbands family, we are very lucky to have a beautiful daughter whose life threat happens to be treatable by something other than a shot once or twice every day for the rest of her life, and two other children whose worst condition happens to be sibling rivelry. I have removed all peanut products from my home and carry benadryl and an epi-jr. at all times, purchased the medic alert bracelet, and tell everyone I know about her allergy and how to treat it, and have started sending information into the schools, but I realize anything could still happen to her or my healthy children tomorrow. We just need faith and friends for support, and I hope that is what we have here.

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 12:23pm
Sue's picture
Joined: 02/13/1999 - 09:00

I get pretty emotional when it comes to my child's safety / life, so I'm pleased to see that you have covered a fair number of my thoughts.
I have a hard time trying to understand why home schooling becomes a big issue on this board. If a parent wants to home school, so be it! They can! It's their choice - for what ever reason.
No. We don't home school.
For those parents that don't want to use the ADA to help provide some form of accomadation for the PA allergy, DON'T. For those of us that want to use it for our PA child, DO. These accomadations are VERY hard to come by and I use it with no regrets. I do not think that a wheel chair ramp will be removed somewhere in the USA because my daughter has a "peanut free" classroom. There is NO cost to this ADA accommadation.
Most of the things we ask for in the way of accomadations for our PA daughter boil down to compassion. That doesn't cost much.
IF a parent of a PA child wants to have 1 epipen or ten, we don't need to beat it to death. It is their choice.
There is so much on this board about almost all subjects and issues concerning PA that I think we might want to consider "searching" this board before starting the 6th topic titled "Kellogs" (just an example) with the same issues. It's good to keep these subjects open and active because a lot of the time there are good answers that are already there for new questions.
NO, I am not trying to be mean or nasty. I love this board, the information, the support, and you people!!! I just wish we could get back to people sharing medical info, school accomadation suggestions, and how to deal with relatives, friends, doctors, etc, without so many loooooong stories and details on how we felt when we heard that Joe's cousin, twice removed, thinks we are over-reacting to the peanut allergy.
Venting is GOOD, I believe there are a couple of threads for venting, but it seems that we are seeing more and more venting in almost every thread. ** Yes, similar to what I am doing right now!!!
Now, you can beat me up, call me names, and tell me you don't like me, But - please keep it short. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Stay safe
Sue in Sunny Arizona
[This message has been edited by Sue (edited March 12, 2003).]

Posted on: Thu, 10/26/2000 - 11:48pm
mom2two's picture
Joined: 06/09/2000 - 09:00

thanks, i like your level headed approach.
its bound to ruffle some feathers but thats always going to happen when people disagree.

Posted on: Fri, 10/27/2000 - 4:40am
Changed by office's picture
Joined: 11/06/2006 - 09:00



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