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Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 11:34am
bandbmom's picture
Joined: 12/14/2005 - 09:00

The person that made those comments about our board is just plain ignorant and, as we all know, there is plenty of ignorance in the world toward all different types of people whether it be race, medical conditions, physical or mental disabilities, etc. Most of them just don't understand because they've never had to walk in the other person's shoes, some of them just hate for no reason at all. I feel sad when anyone can feel that much hate towards another human being.
I've read comments in the past from some posters saying that they think some of the people on this board are over-the-top. It really surprises me. I can't say I've read every thread and every single post, but I can say that I haven't read anything and thought "wow, that is really out there". It's all about the comfort zone thing, but I believe dealing with this allergy is comparable to having your child walk along side a busy road every single day; maybe they will be okay, maybe a car will or won't accidentally hit them, maybe they will remember not to walk into the busy road. It's a constant worry. I also compare it to the fact that *we* don't let our kids play out in the front yard by themselves at 7 and 5. ALL the other neighborhood kids do and have been since the age of 5 with no parents in sight. They probably think we are over-protective and over-the-top. Our thought is that it only takes a second and our children could be gone forever. It is the same with PA; one bite and your child could be gone forever.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 11:39am
BriandBrinasmom's picture
Joined: 10/20/2006 - 09:00

Barb, I think the reality is that there is a continuum with food allergies and, from wherever you are on the continuum, some posters are going to look "lax" and some are going to look "over the top." I'd like to think that we're not all such delicate flowers here that we can't say what we think and understand that it's just our personal viewpoint. I don't think it's bad for new posters (or old) to see that there are differences of opinion.
I've found a lot of interesting ideas in this thread, especially that there's more resentment toward food allergies because there's more imposition on people than with other conditions. Parents get really ticked when little Susie can't bring that peanut butter sandwich on the field trip. Every action we parents of FA children take adds to the expectations (and resentment in some cases) of society. What you do may affect me. What I do may affect the next allergic kid who comes through my son's school. Given that, I don't think we should be afraid to talk about what reasonable accommodations are, and what (as a community) we consider "over the top."

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 12:43pm
Carefulmom's picture
Joined: 01/03/2002 - 09:00

There is also almost no privacy with pa because it requires cooperation from other parents. That is another one of the problems. In dd`s elementary school there was a diabetic child, but no one knew which one it was. Everyone knew about dd`s pa. Lots of people did not know about her milk allergy because it did not require any cooperation from other parents. You really don`t have much privacy with pa the way you would with other medical issues.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 1:17pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

responses like this are the reason i always attempt to be calm, reasonable and factual when i bring up my two girls' peanut allergy (and to only bring it up when it makes sense to do so). it's tough when you are facing attitudes that are already negative and especially tough when those very people have only come into contact with "over the top" types with fa's or children with fa's. sadly, i do see why the person who made these awful statements feels this way. some people do seem to be very aggressive and demanding. however, sometimes it's hard to be a parent with a PA child or children. sometimes we have to be more aggressive with our requests and sometimes we don't. i haven't found it ever helpful for me to be demanding, self-centered and rude BUT i have found that there are certain situations (mostly within family) in which i have had to be more "over the top" than i like to be. it just depends on the situation and the people one is dealing with. in general, i think "over the top" types make attitudes about fa's more negative than they already are. that's why i try so hard to be a good representative of the food allergic population. regardless, people like the one who posted this garbage should be more thoughtful and less hateful. it's really not something to make fun of, whether or not you agree with someone else's approach to protecting their child(ren).
[This message has been edited by joeybeth (edited October 30, 2006).]

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 11:10pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Quote:Originally posted by Adele:
[b] People understand that a bee sting can cause death in an allergic person....so why don't they understand PA?
Why in the h*ll do some become so enraged when their children can't eat a PB sandwich at school or they are denied peanuts on a flight. I don't get it!
Is it because to them, a peanut is harmless and a bee isn't, even if they aren't allergic to bees?
I think it is because someone who is allergic to bees doesn't have a reaction to just being around one--they have to get stung. Those who don't deal with PA think it's the same idea--you have to actually eat the peanut to have a reaction. They don't see peanuts as attacking people, and know nothing of airborn, transfer, or cross-contamination.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 11:24pm
krasota's picture
Joined: 04/24/2000 - 09:00

Seriously, don't bother. The author of that blog thinks that you are all completely crazy for having children. Zie think the worst of you for being *parents*. The fact that you expect any accomodation for your children . . . well, zie find that ludicrous.
Do not waste your time there.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 11:58pm
momll70's picture
Joined: 09/26/2006 - 09:00

They really need to get a life if they have so much time on their hands and have nothing better to do then to read posts that don't have anything to do with their situation or what they believe in. It's really sad actually. Just think abt how we get their blood pressure rising when they read our posts (and they actually sound angry about us) but don't let them get your blood pressure rising because it's not worth it.

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 10:06am
Triciasmom's picture
Joined: 08/03/2000 - 09:00

How many of you actually have LJs and know about the blogging fringe? There are a lot of people out there that spend their free time trolling this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME.
Why? Because they can. What kind of life do you think these people really have? If you think this kind of rage is bewildering, you should check out the various different fandoms for TV shows or Harry Potter or other pop culture stuff. People are cruel online because they can hide behind their computer screens.
Don't pick a fight with people who trash those with PA. You are not going to win. Just walk away. Put that energy into protecting yourselves or your children from the more real dangers at hand. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 2:23pm
JenniferKSwan's picture
Joined: 06/19/2006 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH:
[b]I personally think there is a grain of truth in what is written...not for everyone, but for some. I come here for information. I have received tons of it. But I am still shocked at how extreme some of the moms seem. I forget when it dawned on me...but there was a mom about a month ago that had a user name something like "Scared to Death" or something like that...and she was posting about her child having anxiety and emotional issues related to her allergy. [/b]
I'm more offended by that quote than by the ignorance of people who don't deal with PA on a day to day basis.
Do you not remember what that initial diagnosis was like? I apologize but I don't know how long you have been dealing with PA.
My son was diagnosed over a year ago (August, 2005). I knew it was serious because they prescribed the Epi pen but honestly I was dealing with all of his other food and environmental allergies. In November, it was all over the news that the Canadian girl died from kissing her boyfriend. Everyone who knew of Aiden's allergy felt the need to bring this up to me. So I started thinking this is serious... So the research began. Read lots of articles about kids who died due to food allergies. Read a study following kids who have ana rxn's to food throughout school, only to have many of them die before they reached the 6th grade. HOLY MOSES! I had nightmares that Aiden was being chased with a pb&j around the playground...
Then I found this site and it should have calmed me initially, but it didn't. You start reading about the nightmare's of 504's, family and manufacturers and you just want to bubble your child. I'll be honest with you, I stopped leaving the house with Aiden. He was allowed in the backyard and that was it. Guess what? He had a reaction, he had several reactions - not PA but to his other food allergies and a few mystery ones as well. Don't ask me why that worked for me, but it did. I'm not lax when it comes to peanuts and nuts - they still cause me to have panic attacks. I move to another register if someone is buying a peanut product, even if Aiden isn't with me. I'm aware, but not necessarily paranoid that the person purchasing nuts is out to get my son. I still haven't forgiven several family members, but I will be in their presence on neutral ground.
I understand the screen name ScaredToDeath because it is just so overwhelming initially. Possibly had I been a more creative person when it comes to screen names, I would have chosen a very similar name. It's a journey from diagnosis to finding your comfort level. For some of us, it's harder than others.
Mommy to Aiden (1/26/05) PA,wheat,barley,soy,egg and others yet to be discovered and Connor (7/21/06) with possible egg allergy

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 3:30pm
ElleMo's picture
Joined: 06/19/2003 - 09:00

The irony of this whole thread (on LJ,not here) is that this woman asked to have trees chopped down that interfered with *her* swimming pool. It is not like she is asking for every nut tree in Conn. to be chopped down.


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