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Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 5:55pm
barb1123's picture
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Joined: 04/08/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by JenniferKSwan:
[b] I'm more offended by that quote than by the ignorance of people who don't deal with PA on a day to day basis.
Do you not remember what that initial diagnosis was like? I apologize but I don't know how long you have been dealing with PA.
My son was diagnosed over a year ago (August, 2005). I knew it was serious because they prescribed the Epi pen but honestly I was dealing with all of his other food and environmental allergies. In November, it was all over the news that the Canadian girl died from kissing her boyfriend. Everyone who knew of Aiden's allergy felt the need to bring this up to me. So I started thinking this is serious... So the research began. Read lots of articles about kids who died due to food allergies. Read a study following kids who have ana rxn's to food throughout school, only to have many of them die before they reached the 6th grade. HOLY MOSES! I had nightmares that Aiden was being chased with a pb&j around the playground...
Then I found this site and it should have calmed me initially, but it didn't. You start reading about the nightmare's of 504's, family and manufacturers and you just want to bubble your child. I'll be honest with you, I stopped leaving the house with Aiden. He was allowed in the backyard and that was it. Guess what? He had a reaction, he had several reactions - not PA but to his other food allergies and a few mystery ones as well. Don't ask me why that worked for me, but it did. I'm not lax when it comes to peanuts and nuts - they still cause me to have panic attacks. I move to another register if someone is buying a peanut product, even if Aiden isn't with me. I'm aware, but not necessarily paranoid that the person purchasing nuts is out to get my son. I still haven't forgiven several family members, but I will be in their presence on neutral ground.
I understand the screen name ScaredToDeath because it is just so overwhelming initially. Possibly had I been a more creative person when it comes to screen names, I would have chosen a very similar name. It's a journey from diagnosis to finding your comfort level. For some of us, it's harder than others.
[/b]
Yes, exactly. It's a slippery slope once people here start saying this one is over the top or a little overboard. Once people start saying things like that, the more nervous parents start censoring themselves, "Oh, that sounds a little extreme, I better not post that" that sort of thing. Next thing you know everyone is A-OK with PA because everyone is too afraid of appearing crazy.
This is NOT the spirit in which this board was intended (at least to the best of my knowledge and I'm talking self-censorship and inhibition) and I've been a member since 2000.
I don't care what troubles or concerns people have about PA they should be able to post here and get comfort, information and support and I think it's wrong to make comments about anyone being "over the top"
Barb
Edited to add:
I guarantee that there are members reading that vile C**P and saying to themselves, "Wow, I can't believe people feel that way about my kid(s) or me. Maybe I am overeacting, maybe I need to relax, maybe I need to GO OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE because not only are these lunatics so vehement about it but folks at PA.com might think I'm a bit over the top too.
Badness.
[This message has been edited by barb1123 (edited November 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 8:37pm
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

You know, this stuff really doesn't bother me that much because there are idiots all over the Internet.
And as I tell my kids...What goes around comes around.

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 9:40pm
mommyofmatt's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

Ya know, I've reached a milestone, just had to share. I didn't even click on the link [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Why am I so happy? Because these things used to totally send me into a tailspin, I'd respond on the other site and it would be ineffective emotional babble and it would consume me for days.
I understand why these posts upset others, I have so been there. But I think people are so much bolder over the internet. They can say whatever they want without any face to face consequences. I doubt these same people would act the same way if you met them face to face.
After 3 years of dealing with MFA that aren't going away any time soon, some major concerns about my other ds healthwise which have pretty much been resolved, and a pregnancy with #3, I've come to a new place (At least at this moment, I reserve the right to have a tailspin at any time [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ).
I don't care AT ALL if other people think I'm over protective of my ds. He's alive, thriving, and a happy little boy. Alot of the initial panic has gone away since ds is older and much more aware, and better able to protect himself.
As far as declaring others over the top, I have to agree with Jennifer. It's human nature to make judgements about people, everyone is of course entitled to their opinions. But this forum should be safe for people to post anything with food allergies.
For those people who have been dealing with allergies longer, I thought the goal was to help those just diagnosed and perhaps alleviate some of their anxiety.
I agree that overly rude PA parents can hurt people's perceptions of PA...but anxiety is part of what comes with this diagnosis. We may all have different levels of it for any number of reasons. And people who are very lax about PA may be dealing with some denial on the seriousness of the issue.
But we're all here to help each other and help keep our kids safe.
Ok, climbing down off my soap box now. If you've read this whole diatribe, thanks [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Meg

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 10:10pm
saknjmom's picture
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Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

I see what you are saying, Barb, and I see you've taken offense to "over the top." I am sorry about this. Maybe over the top is not the correct description. Who wouldn't be over the top in trying to keep themselves or their child safe?
Maybe a better description would be the way you say it or the way you present the PA situation.
I just feel that it is similar to calling and making a complaint. Many times if you call, state your problem, what you would like done to correct the problem gets better results than calling and telling them what horrible serice you've received, how idiotic their employees are and ranting and raving. You basically get written off as a jerk and they don't want to help you.
I find I get more attention and more cooperation from others if I treat them with some respect when dealing with the PA, give them the information they need to help me keep DS safe.
I ranted and raved in the beginning. I thought that the fact that my family knew that DS nearly died would be enough that they wouldn't THINK of putting out food that could hurt him. Unfortunately, I didn't do anything except scream and yell at them and basically tell them they were stupid idiots. That isn't my normal nature either. I later realized that I didn't give them the info they needed...they didn't know about xcontamination, airborne situations, residue reactions any more than I did before the diagnosis. My highly charged emotional state was keeping me from being sensible and effective in handling PA.
We know how serious it is on our side of the fence, others sometimes do not. We have a choice how to put the message out there. We can put out an informative message, without alienating people or making them think we're crazy! That's all I'm saying.

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 10:34pm
smudgesgarden's picture
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Joined: 02/26/2006 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by starlight:
[b] Honestly, I agree with 3xy1PAinNH. There are quite a few times I see a post on this board and I wonder if sometimes people are going overboard.
Back when I was in school, a 504 was unheard of for PA. Actually, PA was practically unheard of. Myself, Eric, and Adrienne are all adults who grew up with PA. We all have survived. I can't speak for Eric or Adrienne, but *I myself* never had a peanut-free table, a peanut-free classroom, or had other children wash their hands after eating. We would eat lunch, the majority of the children having PB&J, then we'd go out to recess and play on the equipment. I slid on the same slides, played with the same balls. We even played hand games (Micky mouse built a house, donald duck messed it up, etc), and I wouldn't wash my hands afterward. And I lived with my hands near/in my mouth. I eat from bakeries, I eat ice cream. I survived, never had a reaction. Calling a company? Not trusting ingredient labels? Also unheard of back then.
In short, it is easier (both physically and mentally) to critize than to be kind. It is easier to make swooping generalizations than it is to read scientific journals and literature. And it is easier to just pack a granola bar or PB in a lunch than stop to read ingredients or cut up celery and carrots. People tend to take the easy way out, and it seems to me the person who posted the blog just likes to revel in their own selfishness and lack of effort to care, and wants others to, too.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img][/b]
EACTALY!!!!!!!!
im trying not to go overboard with my sons allergy, but its hard. i know that in his case, being around a peanut isnt life threatining. eating some , well thats a diffrent can of worms.
i do think that some of us (myself included) do go over board sometimes, and from an out siders view it must look like a bunch of bord moms trying to get attention because of there childs disabilty.
i find this web site very helpfull on a viriety of levels.
just last night i wasnt sure about some candy the kids could keep and i did a search and it gave me the answers i was looking for.
as far as the people who post there negitive opinion on that blog, i dont care. (thoe it does make me sad thinking that theise are the people who will be going to my sons school) they are just a bunch of ignorant jug heads with nothing better to do with there time but pick on other people. proably to make them selves feel better.
who knows.
i love this web site, and everyone here has helped me figure stuff out, almost every day.
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
erin

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 11:04pm
ajas_folks's picture
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Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by ajas_folks:
[b] (Ignoring Off Topic) --
I would find the majority of what is posted here informative and eye-opening.
I would find some of it over the top. Even as a PA poster, I find some of it over the top. (And my household has a super-tight Safety Zone when dealing with PA.)
I would find it interesting to perhaps, trace over a length of some years, one poster from early-on posts through to current posts. Interesting to see how some adapt and change (or not) as he/she becomes more educated in dealing with PA and also more practiced in dealing with PA (or, dare I say, even possibly [i] more comfortable [/i] in dealing with PA??!).
I would be left saying to myself, "Geez, I had NO idea how hard it might be to live with PA."
But, then again, that's just me-the-forty-something-PA-mom-who-has-done-this-PA-thing -for-8-years-now talking. What do I really know, anyway.
~Elizabeth
[/b]
Never exempted MYSELF from my above characterization of "over the top".
Though in using that phrase, I was mainly referring to posts which describe [i] the manner or tone one used, i.e. HOW [/i] one handled the situation & what appeared, IMHO, to be an overly extreme response to a not-so-extreme situation. Not trying to belittle. Trying very hard to keep objectivity in my personal dealing-with-PA world.
Barb, and others who took objection to my term "over the top" -- I apologize for this phrase, as it was NOT meant to offend or discourage posts by anyone.
In a way, it was meant more to laud those who seem to have found the "more balanced" approach that works for them. (Oh, geez. Please don't anybody take "balanced" to mean something it does not, coming from me.)
I may just be digging my hole deeper here. Trying to clarify, but it is hard to do so in a written board post.
~Elizabeth
------------------
~Elizabeth,
Mother to 2:
DD age 5, NKA, treated as though PA/TNA
DS age 8, PA, possible TNA
(PA diagnosed & ana reaction 1999)
[This message has been edited by ajas_folks (edited November 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 11:06pm
mommyofmatt's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by starlight:
[b] Honestly, I agree with 3xy1PAinNH. There are quite a few times I see a post on this board and I wonder if sometimes people are going overboard.
Back when I was in school, a 504 was unheard of for PA. Actually, PA was practically unheard of. Myself, Eric, and Adrienne are all adults who grew up with PA. We all have survived. I can't speak for Eric or Adrienne, but *I myself* never had a peanut-free table, a peanut-free classroom, or had other children wash their hands after eating. We would eat lunch, the majority of the children having PB&J, then we'd go out to recess and play on the equipment. I slid on the same slides, played with the same balls. We even played hand games (Micky mouse built a house, donald duck messed it up, etc), and I wouldn't wash my hands afterward. And I lived with my hands near/in my mouth. I eat from bakeries, I eat ice cream. I survived, never had a reaction. Calling a company? Not trusting ingredient labels? Also unheard of back then.
[/b]
Starlight, I appreciate your posts. It lets me look at things from a different perspective. A potentially much less complicated way to live. My ds has no problem in playgrounds, shared toys etc, I'm so glad. I know some kids who DO though.
My ds has had reactions to things on shared equipment with milk. I know he's very ingestion sensitive. People's kids may have different sensitivities requiring different precautions.
Also, when I was a kid (and I'm older than you [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ), there wasn't SOOOO much food in schools. It was lunch and that's it. Now food is so much more prevalent in schools IMHO, and peanuts are an ingredient in many more foods, so I don't think the comparison is quite apples to apples.
These conversations are good to have. It makes me think: can I loosen my comfort zone in any way. Then I decide nope, for now. But it's good to think about. We certainly want to do the best for our kids in all aspects of their lives. I wasn't at all offended by your post, just wanted to bring up these few things. Meg

Posted on: Tue, 10/31/2006 - 11:23pm
mommyofmatt's picture
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Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

Let's see how many times I can post in one thread?!
I think there's a big difference between casually mentioning some people appear over the top at times, and singling out and criticizing a person's user name and using words like shocked and extreme. That was what I found offensive, to be honest.
Since I'm gathering the blog was about how crazy and overprotective we are, it's only natural that we'd start to discuss how crazy and over protective we are...
I don't care what the crazy blog people think, but as I posted to Starlight, I do take into consideration what others here think and post because I can always make improvements and adjustments on how I handle things if it seems to fit.
And, yes I do agree that presentation of hysteria isn't necessarily the best approach.
Meg
(done with boring you all now...pregnancy hormones or post-Halloween jitters must be kicking in)
[This message has been edited by mommyofmatt (edited November 01, 2006).]

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 1:05am
Laura Duke's picture
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Joined: 01/26/2006 - 09:00

I honestly don't know what is the purpose of your post would be except that you have entirely to much time on your hands. Time is a luxury that I cannot afford! Just a F.Y.I. let this serve as your **WARNING** DO NOT re-post anything that I have posted or written on my son's and my Blog.
HAVE A NICE DAY!
This message is intended for where the writer posted it. Any distribution of this message in any way is prohibited without my written consent. I reserve the right to pursue all legal means at my disposal to enforce my son

Posted on: Wed, 11/01/2006 - 1:07am
starlight's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by mommyofmatt:
[b] Also, when I was a kid (and I'm older than you [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ), there wasn't SOOOO much food in schools. It was lunch and that's it. Now food is so much more prevalent in schools IMHO, and peanuts are an ingredient in many more foods, so I don't think the comparison is quite apples to apples.
[/b]
True. Very true. I do remember in 4th grade, my teacher did use candy and stickers for rewards (which was safe, my mom made sure of that), but aside from that one teacher, there wasn't much food. The occasional birthday and holiday party, but it wasn't a daily (or even monthly) occurance. And I can only think of 3 or 4 children in my elementary school class (about 50 kids divided up between 2 or 3 teachers) who were significantly overweight. Gotta wonder what happened to the good old days of moderation.

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