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Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 4:39am
Lori Jo's picture
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Joined: 09/17/2003 - 09:00

OK, also just went to look at the site. Wish I hadn't. It's so far beyond my outlook of the world as to be alien. Sorry there are so many angry, hurtful people out there. I still hold to my prior post though. This site is just at the extreme end of insensitive to be ...? I'm blanking on the appropriate adjective.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 4:48am
MommaBear's picture
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Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

wondering if saknjmom would mind if I borrowed a quote of her's from this thread in order to respond?
[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/008543.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum1/HTML/008543.html[/url]
but yeah. what'd we think was going to happen?

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 4:59am
Lori Jo's picture
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Joined: 09/17/2003 - 09:00

Another thought. These are all anonymous posts. These people can write whatever they wish, usually off the cuff, and then hit enter. There are no repercussions (sp?), and certainly no accountability. I think that in every day life - the actual person to person encounters - the number of people who would actually voice these opinions and act on them are much, much lower. Yes, there are those who would, but most people are civilized enough when interacting with others to not let their inner thoughts rule their actions. Do I entirely care if the other mothers in my child's room think I'm reactionist? No, I only care if they choose to go the next step and deliberately choose to put my dd in danger.
On the other hand, every issue I've had so far with other parents, etc,has been not due to antagonism, but from not being educated. I've only seen these flaming, foul type people posted on web sites. Pollyanna? Maybe, but that's how I see it.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:09am
lalow's picture
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Joined: 03/24/2004 - 09:00

Unfortunately it took me two reading to get that post. Some people are too stupid and ignorant to worry about.

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:21am
saknjmom's picture
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Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

We are in a somewhat unique situation with peanut allergies. What I mean by this is that our children's safety with this allergy hinges on decisions non allergic people make. There are few health concerns I can think of aside from smoking where we need cooperation from non affected individuals to keep our children safe.
Right now, we have to help people understand that we are facing a serious situation with the food allergies. I prefer to put the message out there in a way that people will understand and want to help us.
Like many on this board, I have been frustrated so many times when people don't get it. I try to turn back the clock to the time before the allergy was part of my life and think about what I knew about food allergies. Probably back then, if someone asked me to put away my Reeces Peanut Butter cup because some kid next to me was allergic, I'd be wondering what the big deal is since I didn't know about airborne or residue causing a reaction.
We shouldn't expect every person to automatically know when we say our child has a peanut allergy, that they shouldn't eat it around him any more than we should know offhand the square root of 9584622.
We need people to listen to us....will people listen better if we scream and act like they are idiots because they are unaware or will they listen if we find a way to tell the situation in a way they will understand and WANT to help us?
Think about it, we ask people to alter what they eat, where they eat it and we ask manufacturers to alter the way the label their foods, we expect a lot from society. I'm not saying that we're not entitled, I think we are, but unfortunately we are still not in the times with laws and education.
A person in a wheelchair expects certain accommodations so they can get in and out of public places. This doesn't cause a burden to us, someone with diabetes has control of what he or she eats, their condition doesn't spill out to society.
Think about smoking. I don't know at what point people grasped the concept that second hand smoke was affecting non smokers or that pregnant mothers were passing nicotine and other harmful things to unborn babies. I think in the 1970s if you asked a smoker to put out their butt, they would have told you where to go...today, thanks to laws made to protect people, you can barely find a place to smoke outside your home.
Peanut allergies will get there....
For the derogatory remarks on the original post, it's pretty easy to write something like this for the shock factor....it didn't bother me. I don't think this uneducated person would really want to see harm to anyone and doesn't realize the situation we face.
If you weren't dealing with PA, what would you think of the posts here at PA.com?

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:30am
TJuliebeth's picture
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Joined: 03/30/2005 - 09:00

I clicked the link, I didn't see this post/response whatever it is...
but, IMO, the site is sick...I don't think anyone would take whats said there seriously...judging by pictures the posters left, it's a mix of maybe kids or VERY immature "adults."

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:38am
starlight's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by 3xy1PAinNH:
[b]I personally think there is a grain of truth in what is written...not for everyone, but for some. I come here for information. I have received tons of it. But I am still shocked at how extreme some of the moms seem. I forget when it dawned on me...but there was a mom about a month ago that had a user name something like "Scared to Death" or something like that...and she was posting about her child having anxiety and emotional issues related to her allergy.
Just like anything in life, it is possible to obsess and go too far. TO over-protect. Having said that, our children...who we brought into this world, have a life-threatening allergy to something that can be foudn every day in society...so a certain amount of paranoia is necessary for survival.
It is all about balance...and honestly, it depends on the severity of the child's allergy. I would wager a bet that the moms who seem most 'paranoid' are the ones who have children that have severe reactions. Or they are the moms who have watched their child almost die.
SO yeah, some truth...but take it with a grain of salt. They are intitled to their opinion...doesn't mean you have to own it as yours.[/b]
Honestly, I agree with 3xy1PAinNH. There are quite a few times I see a post on this board and I wonder if sometimes people are going overboard.
Back when I was in school, a 504 was unheard of for PA. Actually, PA was practically unheard of. Myself, Eric, and Adrienne are all adults who grew up with PA. We all have survived. I can't speak for Eric or Adrienne, but *I myself* never had a peanut-free table, a peanut-free classroom, or had other children wash their hands after eating. We would eat lunch, the majority of the children having PB&J, then we'd go out to recess and play on the equipment. I slid on the same slides, played with the same balls. We even played hand games (Micky mouse built a house, donald duck messed it up, etc), and I wouldn't wash my hands afterward. And I lived with my hands near/in my mouth. I eat from bakeries, I eat ice cream. I survived, never had a reaction. Calling a company? Not trusting ingredient labels? Also unheard of back then.
I *personally* believe that if I had to do it all over again knowing what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing. I know the way I grew up would be impossible for quite a few of you. But I think comfort zones should be based on reaction history, not 'what if's'. If you're already airborne sensitive, then by all means you should request a peanut-free class. If you're already contact sensitive, then get the kids to wash their hands, get a peanut-free table. As 3xy1PAinNH said, some paranoia is necessary. If we weren't all obsessive about it in some degree, no PA child would live past their 5th birthday. But at the same time, I think that some people do take it too far for their individual situation/sensitivity. I think only the precautions that are necessary should be taken. A peanut-free school seems a bit much for a child who is not airborne or contact sensitive and who has never reacted to traces. Peanut-free class, maybe. But the whole school just seems unnecessary
But that's just my educated opinion based on my personal experience. I've read the studies and actually lived with the allergy. These people have not. And unfortunately, not everyone is compassionate. If every single person genuinely cared about people other than themselves, then there would be no war, no homelessness, no corporate scandals. Part of being human, of being ANYTHING alive, is to have a degree of selfishness. It is a natural instinct to look out for what's best for yourself and your offspring above all others. To look beyond that, to care for other people, takes effort. An effort that as the population grows, money and resources grow slim, and teaching manners fall to the wayside, it seems more and more people are not willing to make. In short, it is easier (both physically and mentally) to critize than to be kind. It is easier to make swooping generalizations than it is to read scientific journals and literature. And it is easier to just pack a granola bar or PB in a lunch than stop to read ingredients or cut up celery and carrots. People tend to take the easy way out, and it seems to me the person who posted the blog just likes to revel in their own selfishness and lack of effort to care, and wants others to, too.
I don't really have the time to look this over, so I just want to say that this is only my opinion. I do not mean to offend anyone or critize any choices anyone has made and I am sorry if at any point it comes off that way (unless it comes across as me critizing the person who posted those blogs, that I did mean [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:41am
Adele's picture
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Joined: 01/31/2005 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by saknjmom:
[b]
If you weren't dealing with PA, what would you think of the posts here at PA.com? [/b]
I would have thought, 'wow, I had no idea it was so serious'.
People understand that a bee sting can cause death in an allergic person....so why don't they understand PA?
Why in the h*ll do some become so enraged when their children can't eat a PB sandwich at school or they are denied peanuts on a flight. I don't get it!
Is it because to them, a peanut is harmless and a bee isn't, even if they aren't allergic to bees?
I think the majority of people don't get it, but will get it if they are educated. There's a minority that will never get it....but they're probably as stupid about many other things too.
edited to add a p.s.
If anyone does post on the offensive site, why don't you post a link to the 'in memory' thread.
[This message has been edited by Adele (edited October 30, 2006).]

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:44am
ajas_folks's picture
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Joined: 04/28/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by saknjmom:
[b]
If you weren't dealing with PA, what would you think of the posts here at PA.com? [/b]
(Ignoring Off Topic) --
I would find the majority of what is posted here informative and eye-opening.
I would find some of it over the top. Even as a PA poster, I find some of it over the top. (And my household has a super-tight Safety Zone when dealing with PA.)
I would find it interesting to perhaps, trace over a length of some years, one poster from early-on posts through to current posts. Interesting to see how some adapt and change (or not) as he/she becomes more educated in dealing with PA and also more practiced in dealing with PA (or, dare I say, even possibly [i] more comfortable [/i] in dealing with PA??!).
I would be left saying to myself, "Geez, I had NO idea how hard it might be to live with PA."
But, then again, that's just me-the-forty-something-PA-mom-who-has-done-this-PA-thing -for-8-years-now talking. What do I really know, anyway.
~Elizabeth
------------------
~Elizabeth,
Mother to 2:
DD age 5, NKA, treated as though PA/TNA
DS age 8, PA, possible TNA
(PA diagnosed & ana reaction 1999)

Posted on: Mon, 10/30/2006 - 5:52am
saknjmom's picture
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Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

I also find some things over the top. I've found my own behavior over the top.
I was also thinking, when someone comes here just out of curiosity, there is really no mission statement or tidbit to preface the discussions with.
Maybe a short, informative mission statement on the homepage with some statistics and facts would further help people understand why we're here and more about peanut allergies.

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