What do you say to other PA parents who don\'t take PA seriously?

Posted on: Sat, 07/24/2004 - 9:34am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

In the past month I have had two encounters with two PA mothers who aren't taking PA seriously. I was at a loss for words when they were talking about it. One of these mothers has an older son like 20's so I didn't worry about that one too much because I figured he could take of himself and he had obviously survived under her care, but the other has a daughter who's 6 and SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARRY AN EPIPEN!!! I was so mad. I asked her a million questions about her reactions, who her doctor was that "didn't recommend her carrying an Epipen", etc. and began quoting some statistics and she finally said "You're beginning to scare me." Her daughter has had PA since she was 9 months old and she seemed to know nothing about this allergy. Has this ever happened to you? What do you say?

Cade PA
Carson NKA

Posted on: Sat, 07/24/2004 - 10:32am
mcmom's picture
Joined: 06/15/2004 - 09:00

Lynee, I had a similar experience at the beginning of the school year - one of the kids in my son's class has an older sibling with PA. I was so excited to speak to the mom, because I had so many questions...the first thing I asked her was how they handled his Epipen when he went to friend's homes ( my ds is just 4, and I am worried about the day he will want to go on play dates without me tagging along). Her PA child is about 9. She said that he doesn't take his Epipen with him (!) he just doesn't eat anything. Of course I wanted to say "what about a contact reaction from something in the house?" but I didn't say anything. I wanted to, believe me!

Posted on: Sat, 07/24/2004 - 1:32pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Cade's Mom, after trying to educate (if you will) some PA parents and relatives of PA children (an Aunt) a few years ago, when I lived in another town, and really looking like I was a wacko, when I do meet another PA parent nowadays, I don't say anything.
This year, my daughter (non-PA) had a PA child in her classroom that did not carry his Epi-pen or wear a MedicAlert bracelet. I spoke with one of his parents, just to say hi almost every day after school. I think PA was discussed perhaps twice and very lightly.
I found the earlier conversations I had years ago so frustrating that no, I don't bother now. I respect that other people have their own "comfort zones" and their own way of parenting even, so I just let them be.
I'd just as soon continue to look like Psycho Mom from He**, but don't feel the need to educate other PA parents in *real* life.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 07/24/2004 - 1:40pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sat, 07/24/2004 - 1:40pm
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Alternative to Mainstream:
[b]I found the earlier conversations I had years ago so frustrating that no, I don't bother now. I respect that other people have their own "comfort zones" and their own way of parenting even, so I just let them be.
I'd just as soon continue to look like Psycho Mom from He**, but don't feel the need to educate other PA parents in *real* life.
I feel the same way as ATM these days. I still try to "educate" if I meet someone with a very young/ newly diagnosed pa child. For those who have been at it for a while, though, I just shake my head and roll my eyes to myself, but outwardly don't show all that much of a reaction to the fact that we handle things differently.
Of course it does scare me that these kids are going to be the ones who end up dying from their pa because they never learned how serious it could be. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]
Hang in there,

Posted on: Sun, 07/25/2004 - 1:24am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

Thanks for your replies. ATM - thanks for the link once again. Very interesting posts there. I think from now on I'll do a search by your name since you and I seem to be on the same wave length!

Posted on: Sun, 07/25/2004 - 3:45am
lalow's picture
Joined: 03/24/2004 - 09:00

I read this thread and much of the other and it really hit home. Maybe I am one of those people. I take my sons allergies seriously. Although his one and only reaction to peanuts was what might be considered mild I do carry two epipens everywhere we go. I ask questions at restaurants. The only place he is without me or my husband is the nursery at church and I take a snack and request they not feed him anything. There are no peanuts or obvious may contains in the house. But I dont call manufacturers or quiz people at restaurants and if someone pulls out some peanut butter at a family gathering I just have my son eat at another table. I do think my comfort zone would narrow if he had another reaction. I think deep down I dont believe he is allergic to peanuts.. or that he will outgrow it. I am cautious because I dont want my stupidity to hurt my son. I dont want my son to have to have a "severe" reaction for me to get it.
James 2yrs NKA
Ben 17 months PA,MA,possible EA, and SA

Posted on: Sun, 07/25/2004 - 6:27am
kkeene's picture
Joined: 10/20/2003 - 09:00

We had a lady with twins in my sons play group they were like 1 1/2 at the time. I was having a hard time dealing with it & often cried when I had to talk about it. But this lady pipped up one day & said its no big deal my daughter has it too, we just don't feed it to her any more....
I was like what the H#$@ I am so scared of C/C & Contact & airborn I just can't imagine thinking like that.
I said what about when she does have it some day by mistake & has a bad reaction? & you don't have MED.????? She said well we'll take her to the Dr's.....I said "Well if that happens & you do I HOPE SHE MAKES IT!"
Personally could not live with myself knowing I might not be doing everything posible to keep my son safe...becaue should anything every happen I wouldn't be able to handle it!!!!!
I pray for these people all the time.

Posted on: Sun, 07/25/2004 - 7:22am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I get the general feel how the parents deal with PA after a few questions.
No one I've met, except another member here, takes it very seriously. Bizarre to me, however, I just stop asking questions and don't say much more because they wouldn't get what I have to say anyway. That or they simply don't want to hear what I would say.

Posted on: Sun, 07/25/2004 - 8:53am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

Yes, I'm with Alt to Main and California Mom. There are several other PA kids in our town whose parents do take it very seriously, but one who doesn't. Her DD is 8 and has survived thus far, but I really fear for her. We've spoken about it many times, and she did get her a MedicAlert bracelet, but continues to let her eat M&M's, etc.

Posted on: Sun, 07/25/2004 - 10:45am
julieneaman's picture
Joined: 01/11/2004 - 09:00

I, too, have experienced several parents of pa children who act like it's no big deal. One woman I know doesn't want anyone to know her 6 yr old son is pa. The kicker was we had college friends of my husbands come for a weekend. They have a son our son's age. Both parents are doctors. Before they came, I made a big deal about ds being pa and not to bring any food to the house. I said not even in your diaper bag. I would provide all safe food and snacks and asked for their son's favorites. When they get there about 8 hours into the visit, they say their son is also pa. He had a reaction of hives and swollen lips the 2 times he had either peanut butter or peanuts. They said their ped just said to avoid. No epi, no testing, no label reading. They were very happy with that. They assumed their son was not as allergic as our son. At the time they were both about 18 mos. I gave them some websites to check out and some articles, but they were not interested. I hope their luck holds out.


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