We Label Our Children PA on This Site. Are There Any Alternatives?

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 3:13am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

pWhen we visit this site, we label our children, who are allergic to peanuts, PA.br /
This, of course, makes sense, because we all know what it means and it shortens up allergic to peanuts for typing, reading, and thread-starting./p
pI'm sure that most of us only label our children this way when we're on this site.br /
I know that I only call Jesse PA here. I don't call him PA anywhere else./p
pDoes it make anyone uncomfortable using this short form? People other than PA parents/people read this site. Could we be giving them the impression that we feel okay about labeling our children and that they can therefore label our children and perhaps not as nicely as simply PA?/p
pCan anyone think of any alternatives to this or does anyone even think it's necessary? Are we all fairly clear that we only label our child this way on this site and that we all hope that whoever isn't PA reading this site would also understand this? We are only labeling our children this way for discussion on this site as PA. It is short, it is quick, it is easy. Just the same as TNA./p
pJust wondering what anyone else's thoughts may be on this. I know that this has just been brought up in another thread. I also do know that it is a term that I only use about Jesse on this site and that's why I feel comfortable labeling him in this manner./p
pThe argument could be made that since we are on a PA site, there is no need to put an adjective before our child at all, because it would be just a given that we are speaking about our child that is allergic to peanuts.br /
But, sometimes, in discussion, we are talking about all of our children, some who are allergic to peanuts and some who aren't.br /
So PA and non-PA comes out easily and naturally ON THIS SITE./p
pDoes anyone feel uncomfortable labeling their child on this site in this manner, and, if so, do you have any thoughts on how we could change the wording?/p
pBest wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]/p
p------------------/p
p[This message has been edited by Cindy Spowart Cook (edited February 12, 2001).]/p

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 3:26am
Merri - Kim's picture
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Joined: 01/31/2001 - 09:00

This seems like it could end up being touchy. I'm going to reply anyways. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] I don't feel uncomfortable about saying my child is "PA". He is. First he is Keeton, second he is allergic to peanuts. But, sometimes it is necessary to reverse the order for safety. I don't use "PA" anywhere else - I don't need to. If someone was to ask "Is he PA?" I'd just assume that they've been reading our boards! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] I think other labels such as "Peanut Boy" would be more offensive for sure - especially in a setting where my child us supposed to be loved and nurtured. I've worked in daycare and when teachers start to label like that, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't like the child, but it most likely means that they feel the child is a bit of a pain for them. That has been my experience anyways - oh, that sounds like I was labelling. No, I was a lowly student and just listened (with disgust) as some of the teachers did their thing. Anyways - I don't mind the PA term. Kim.

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 3:26am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I don't think there's anything wrong with differentiating between our PA children and our non-PA children on this site. Our posts need to be clear and concise, so this is the way to do it.
At the risk of being flamed, I must say, perhaps we are becoming TOO politically correct here? In "real life" I don't refer to Cayley as anything but Cayley, and I expect other people to use her name too. Of course, a derogatory nickname would never be acceptable, but why is PA derogatory on this site?
Come on, my peanut allergic daughter, Cayley, as opposed to my non-peanut allergic daughter, Hannah? What a mouthful!
Nicknames, or "labels" such as Four-Eyes and Bucky definitely hurt a child's self esteem and trigger the pack mentality in other kids to tease them mercilessly. I don't see PA in this way - especially since, once I leave this site, the word "PA" never leaves my lips!

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 3:41am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Merri-Kim and Cayley's Mom, I agree with both of you wholeheartedly! I do not call Jesse PA anywhere except on this site and it's only because I'm trying to write in a clear, concise manner as you suggested, Cayley's Mom.
This question was actually raised because of a discussion in another thread and I just wanted to see if anyone did feel uncomfortable with us labeling our children PA on this site?
I actually believe we use the label so that we can differentiate, especially in discussions where we are talking about more than our "allergic to peanuts" child - i.e., we may answer that our PA child is a picky eater but our non-PA child is not.
I think it has always been the board's terminology and for good reasons. It was not me that felt uncomfortable with it. I just wanted to know if anyone was.
Cayley's Mom, you sounded right ready to rip my head off re political correctness! No, I agree with you, it's just that I was wondering if others maybe didn't feel comfortable with our labeling our children.
Also, Merri-Kim, yes, there is a BIG distinction between PA parents/people calling our children or ourselves PA on this board, and someone else calling our child names, such as Peanut Boy, Peanut Kid, Nut Girl.
Our labeling, in this manner, on this board, only made sense to me and I am really clear that this is the only place that I refer to my son or anyone else's child who is allergic to peanuts as PA.
I certainly didn't mean to tick anyone off, that was not my intention. I had just picked up that maybe some people did, in fact, feel uncomfortable labeling their child this way and was wondering if it was a great number of people, and if so, if there was an alternative. No big deal.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 4:08am
anonymous's picture
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Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

You know, I have a tendency to perhaps focus my debates too personally. When I took a university course entitled "Feminist Sociology", the debates I had with my DH!! He felt I was attacking him personally, when all I was really doing was getting heated up over the subject matter. So, Cindy, sorry - I'm not the head-ripping-off type! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
I do, however, have 2 further points to make!
1. The usage of PA came naturally to the users on this site. To try to remember who it offends and who it doesn't offend when replying to posts would be problematic, in the least.
2. It is a GIVEN that our children are more than the sum of their allergy! Peanut Allergy may be a "curse", but it's not a "curse-word"! Most of our kids don't read this site anyway, and most of the adults on this site refer to themselves as PA sufferers - and we KNOW they are more than just an allergy! Clear, concise descriptive term, yes - derogatory term, no, in my opinion.
Just my 2 cents.

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 4:47am
DMB's picture
DMB
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Joined: 02/22/2001 - 09:00

I use pa and non-pa when I am talking about both of my children in one post. Since this website is primarily for people with peanut allergies, I like to differentiate between my two children when I am talking about both of them in the same post because one does have a peanut allergy and one does not.

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 5:02am
blackmoss's picture
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Joined: 12/26/2000 - 09:00

Just my thoughts, but I don't see anything wrong with PA. It is simply what it is, and I don't think it is truly a label. It is nothing more than a description. The internet is becoming more and more abbreviated. Pretty soon I think we will all speak a second language that is nothing but abbreviations. It's takes longer to type than it does to speak for most of us, so we take shortcuts wherever we can.
Besides PA isn't the only phrase that describes my child medically he is also HI (hearing impaired) and/or HoH (Hard of Hearing). The internet is full of abbreviations - we all live with them. They are not labels, when we write to people we never say .. hey PA person or hey parent of PA child, we still refer to each other by name/screen name so I think of it as nothing more than helping to save time and keep everyone straight on which person you are talking about.

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 5:26am
PattyR's picture
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Joined: 04/12/2002 - 09:00

I agree there is nothing wrong with PA, I think the original point was should we say PA son, rather than my son who has PA. I am not really saying one way or another but coming from the special education field, it is currently politically correct to put the child first as in a child who is deaf of hard of hearing rather than a deaf child or a hard of hearing child.
I'll be the first to admit that our society is getting irritatingly politically correct but I just thought I would put it out there!
That field is always changing labels to be politically correct. For example, it has gone from Mongoloid, to Down's Syndrome, to now... a child with Down's Syndrome. The goal obviously is for the child to be viewed first as the child rather than first as having a disability.
By the way blackmoss, my field until recently was the field of hearing loss.

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 7:29am
arachide's picture
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Joined: 08/16/2000 - 09:00

...and here I was thinking all along that "PA" stood for "pretty awesome", you know, like my pretty awesome son... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 8:21am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

arachide, right on! I actually have a pretty awesome son too!
PattyR., I completely see what you're saying, but again, for the purposes of the board, it's still quicker (and I'm a really quick typist) to type PA son rather than son who has PA or is PA.
I think it's like what someone above said where soon we'll have a whole new cyberspace language. Look at all the abbreviations some of us have had to learn, or still don't know when we're on the board.
PattyR., again, I understand completely where you're coming from, and if it was not only on this site, then I would say, yes, definitely, word it that when when describing your child.
But, for the sake of clarity, conciseness and quickness, I really think we're doing okay with it the way we are. And then, if you think about what arachide added, although then when we type non-PA daughter or son, we mean non-pretty-awesome.....
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2001 - 8:53am
PattyR's picture
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Joined: 04/12/2002 - 09:00

I love it arachide! I think I will think of it that way from now on! Please everyone, post with what you feel comfortable. Thanks for bringing up the post Cindy.
[This message has been edited by PattyR (edited February 12, 2001).]

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