Unreasonable requests? - Peanut Allergy Information

Unreasonable requests?

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My niece has a mild peanut allergy in addition to an allergy to dogs. Thank goodness she has never had to use her epi pen and our family has always taken the necessary steps to protect her as much as possible at family events. However, her parents are now refusing to attend family events if we don't have every dish available for their daughter to eat. They feel it's unfair for her not to be able to eat everything that is served. The parents also refused to attend a 50th anniversary dinner, because the restaurant could not guarantee there was absolutely no peanuts products in the food. The restaurant told the parents they were welcome to bring in something for their daughter to eat so she could join the family. This was my parents favorite restaurant and they refused to come. How does our family handle this? We know the parents frequent other restaurants that are not peanut free, and the mother has even taken their daughter to a pet store to hold the puppies, that she is allergic too. They are even refusing to let their daughter spend the night at her grandparents house, or be without a parent when with the grandparents. She has never been served anything that would harm her at her grandparents house and like I said, has never had a reaction where she had to use the epi pen. Any advise as to how to handle this situation?