Too Much To Ask???

Posted on: Thu, 02/08/2007 - 11:43pm
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

I asked my daughter's Mother's Day Out programs to send letters home (she goes to 2 different programs). The Monday/Wednesday school happily sent it out and posted a sign at the door to her classroom. AWESOME!! Very happy with that.

The second program (she only goes there Thursdays) is hesistant to send out my letter. They said that someone made the comment that its "a lot to ask" --- I'm furious!!

What do you respond? Please help me calmly respond.

Also, they have mini Snickers at the sign in table .... are you kidding me????

I want to withdraw her, put her in a bubble, keep her safe. I'm trying not to be crazy/obsessed [img][/img]

Do you think I should continue to try & educate these people? Her teachers seem to "get it" but Snickers in a big bowl at the door seems ridiculous. Before Calista's allergy, I would have mindlessly eaten those.

Again, any advice on how to get the point across without being crazy?? I actually left her there yesterday, but was constantly thinking of those dang Snickers!

Is it ridiculous for me to ask that they not have a bowl of Snickers??

Mom to 2 Beautiful Girls
Taylor 5 - no allergies
Calista 1 - Peanut Allergy

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 2:33am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Honestly? There are two alternatives.
They just overlooked it-- easy enough to do. We see the world with very different eyes than other parents. We see hazards that make us lose sleep where other people (seriously) don't even [i]notice anything at all[/i]. Mindless is the term. The solution is to offer a "safer alternative" for them... rather than attacking them for not thinking of it sooner.
OTOH, the fact that they seem to think your letter is a "lot to ask" in combination with the candy seems to me a red flag of sorts. No matter what they are telling you, they really still don't "get it." Unless you are asking for other parents to be limiting/changing what they are doing on their own time. THAT seems to be the 'line' for the rest of the world. KWIM?
I wouldn't (personally) leave a PA child with them until you have figured out which it is. If it is the latter, you have to figure out if they are just a little slow or if there is real resistance to being educated on the subject.
Good Luck. [img][/img]
(At least you have one program helping you out!)

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 2:38am
Sarahb's picture
Joined: 01/22/2007 - 09:00

Hi....I'm new at this...but I think if your daughter is 1 and PA she needs to be in a nut free environment period.
I don't know the best way to go about that or what your letter is asking for. But if I were you I would continue to push - maybe try a different angle - and if it doesn't work find an alternative for her.
We just got our preschool to go nut free. What we did is call all the schools in the area and create a list of what their policies were. We showed this to ds's school and they saw for themselves that most of the schools were nut free. I'm not even sure that we directly asked them...we just said...hey look at what everyone else is doing and how they are doing it and how EASY it is to do and they saw for themselves and have made the change. But my DH had to do all the talking because I don't think I could have been as low key about it.
Good luck!
OH...if they have such young children I would seriously caution them about the child who is PA and no one knows yet. That if nothing else would make me change! There will be no epi pen or plan and bad things could happen! I would bring that up to them.

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 5:50am
NicoleinNH's picture
Joined: 06/21/2003 - 09:00

[This message has been edited by NicoleinNH (edited June 09, 2007).]

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 6:26am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

They keep saying that at this age, they aren't worried, but "when she gets older, into the next class". I think I'm going to go armed with some literature on Tuesday and see what kind of reaction I get.
I'll also bring some "safe" candy & throw away the Snickers!
Mom to 2 Beautiful Girls
Taylor 5 - no allergies
Calista 1 - Peanut Allergy

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 8:18am
Sarahb's picture
Joined: 01/22/2007 - 09:00

Nice pun! Good luck!

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 10:49am
chanda4's picture
Joined: 12/14/2006 - 09:00

I don't agree with banning(okay, please don't tear into me), but I do however agree with eating allergen foods safely...a bowl of snickers out in the open, is not safe. If my 1yr old(my youngest is I am putting myself in your shoes) if they did not tighten up the reigns so to say....and at least keep food contained to one area(like a lunch table, that they cleaned off properly after food was eaten there, handwashing etc...) then I don't think I could send my kid there. I mean, she's only one, she has NO concept of food other then *eat it*. If I put my older son in this situation, then I wouldn't be so nervous(I would want some percautions in place, but there doesn't seem to be ANY here) but for a baby to be crawling/walking around, eye level with a bowl of snickers...that seems crazy.
Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 (beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig & asthma)
Jake-6 (peanut, all tree nuts, eggs, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma)
Carson-3 1/2 (milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig)
Savannah-1 (milk and egg)
[This message has been edited by chanda4 (edited February 09, 2007).]

Posted on: Fri, 02/09/2007 - 11:24am
TwokidsNJ's picture
Joined: 05/28/2005 - 09:00

I would not be comfortable with that. You need to go in with some data showing other preschools and MDO type programs have gone pn/tn-free. And they need to understand the risk.
You way want to check out the MA Dept of Education document or the Ann Arbor Public Schools policies/procedures -- both have samples of accepted letters that many schools are using. The letters are an accepted process and are not "too much to ask".
At this point I would withdraw from the 2nd program. They do not get it and your daughter will not be safe. But do send the letter explaining why anyway. They need to hear it from a few parents before they change their may help someone else.

Posted on: Mon, 02/12/2007 - 12:34pm
falcon's picture
Joined: 07/03/2004 - 09:00

If they absolutely feel they need to have candy there, perhaps you can bring in a bag of nut free candy they can use and a list of nut free vendors for the future. You could say something like - my child has a life threatening allergy to peanuts and I am concerned that she might come in contact with someone who is eating one of the snickers. How about if we replace the snickers with these? (Tootsie roll products including Andes Mints, Junior Mints, Junior Caramels, Sugar Daddies, Sugar Babies, and Charleston Chews, Dots - are all made in a peanut/nut free environment.) Then we don't have to be concerned. Do you mind if I replace the snickers right now? It is unfortunate and hard to believe that my little one can end up in the ER just because someone happened to touch her after eating a candy bar with peanuts! Amazing isn't it?
Usually folks rally and come around without an issue with this type of talk. If you think they are still not believing you, rattle on about how more and more children are becoming allergic, how the good new is that the person or school can actively prevent a life threatening reaction by doing little things like replacing or eliminating the candy. Relay circumstances where just a tiny bit of exposure from cross contamination or residue caused a reaction. People are usually amazed and are taken aback when I tell them that I don't eat peanuts, because my son will have a reaction if I touch him or kiss him after I have eaten them, etc., etc. I try to stay light, chatty, and matter of fact. Good Luck!

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