This person \"Gets It\"

Posted on: Sat, 05/26/2007 - 11:02pm
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm[/url]

quote:

[i]""Special Needs" is an umbrella underneath which a staggering array of diagnoses can be wedged. Children with special needs may have mild learning disabilities or profound mental retardation; [b]food allergies[/b] or terminal illness; developmental delays that catch up quickly or remain entrenched; occasional panic attacks or serious psychiatric problems."[/i]

Finally categorizing "Special Needs" and "Food Allergies" in the same ballpark...(even if it's not a peanut free one. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img])

quote:

[i]"there are some common concerns that link parents of challenged kids, including getting appropriate care and accommodations; promoting acceptance in the extended family, school and community; planning for an uncertain future; and adjusting routines and expectations."[/i]

I especially like this last quote since it seemed appropriate in light of many threads I've read recently (and many in the past). I think there is a tendency to either over-estimate the impact of food allergies or treat them as if EVERYTHING can be made "level" (or "safe", for that matter), or comparable for our children (or ourselves).

Personally? Regardless of the accommodations, I don't think my oldest child is ever going to have access to [i]the same[/i] [b]exact[/b] experience as someone who doesn't have any dietary concerns, given the nature of an [i]exquisite[/i] food allergy, and be able to maintain a sense of [i]normalacy[/i], or even his dignity, for that matter, if I insist on it. I've tried, and yes, absolutely, I think I might have done [i]some[/i] things differently, now that I have the ability to look back.

I think many times "adjusting routines and expectations" is overlooked and the focus is too intense on seeking "accommodations". Maybe out of avoidance of the inevitable realization.

But no advice, no guarantees on the accuracy, currentness, content, or even applicability of the link in the post. However, I applaud the author.

Posted on: Sat, 05/26/2007 - 11:54pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....
The second quote is also why I feel (strongly) that differences from 'median' which are more than two standard deviations from the 'average' in [i]either direction[/i] are really best identified as 'special education' services.
(But a whole lot of crowing "GT" parents wouldn't be so happy to have their kids included in [i]that[/i] kind of 'gifted' program, now would they?)
When you get a certain distance away from the [b]average[/b] experience of being a human being.... there [i]is no such thing as 'equal'.[/i] By its nature, things are always going to be [i]just[/i] a little different for you. But does it have to be 'the same' experience to be a good and worthwhile one?
No. There is a reason that 'adaptive behaviors/mitigating measures' is in IDEA and 504. Different doesn't have to be bad, as long as it is safe and doesn't feel like punishment.
What a great post, MommaBear.

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:11am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....
[/b]
standing ovation right back at ya. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] (When I read the article, [i]I applied it to soooooooooo many other aspects of my life[/i]) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
It's our "Special Needs" that point out how much [i]sameness[/i] we have. What is considered a "gift" can be a "disability" and visa versa. KWIM? I just find it distasteful when people pull out the superiority soapbox. [i]I can see the flaws in the "gift", I <<>> where the cracks hide. I know how [b]disabling[/b] a "gift" can be. How much accommdation it might require or even in order to be recognized as a "gift".[/i] YK?
But I'm digressing, on a tangent, and my hands hurt clapping. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:23am
JacksonsMom's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/21/2002 - 09:00

Great article mommabear.
Check out this link also:
http.//specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm
Or just go to the original link and click on 'whats hot - peanut allergies in school'.
Edited to try and put link in again....Can't figure out how to do it so you can click on it. Sorry! I haven't had enough coffee today [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by JacksonsMom (edited May 27, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by JacksonsMom (edited May 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:28am
chanda4's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/14/2006 - 09:00

thank you for posting, I soooooo agree(and clapping too!!) HUGS
------------------
Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 (beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig & asthma)
Jake-6 (peanut, all tree nuts, eggs, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma)
Carson-3 1/2 (milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig and EE)
Savannah-1 (milk and egg)

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:43am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

And another important thing that I've learned about this (over the years)... is this:
Such separate and [i]inherently UNequal[/i] things don't have to bother my daughter. They [i]will[/i] break MY heart, of course. But they don't have to break [b]hers[/b] if I manage [i]my own feelings of loss.[/i]
So now, before I push for [i]any[/i] accommodations, I take a step back and ask: "What matters to DD here? And what really matters to [i]me[/i]? And why?"
Does she really even care whether or not her experiences are "the same?" She does NOT. She sees perfectly clearly that she also has advantages undreamt-of by her 'unaffected peers.' More than compensation, in her estimation.
It was much easier to understand that a child whose intellectual development is way out of synch would ultimately have a very different set of life experiences from 'average' (Not many 4 yo compare and contrast Sesame Street and Dickensian London, and 'average' people never have the two things intersect mentally...)
I have been much slower to understand that her FA will also irrevocably alter how she experiences her life. Not 'diminish'-- just 'alter.'
Better to go with the flow of that sometimes. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[i]Please note, however, that this DOES NOT mean that schools should feel justified in conducting fun hands-on lessons that my child can only 'watch,' or removing her from class parties, or anything like that. That's just hurtful-- the equivalent of taking a child with a severe mobility impairment to a standard playground to 'watch' the other children. [/i]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:50am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

I think these are the links you were trying to paste in:
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm[/url]
and
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/?once=true&"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/?once=true&[/url]
and the one MB quoted from:
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm[/url]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 1:32am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]I think these are the links you were trying to paste in:
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm[/url]
[/b]
great links. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
(oh, and from the link you posted that I quoted is this GREAT blog [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] )
[url="http://www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=43"]http://www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=43[/url]
to the left, I also noted the "Shut up store".
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
I particularly enjoyed this entry:
[url="http://www.shutupabout.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=69&p=53"]http://www.shutupabout.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=69&p=53[/url]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 1:40am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] She sees perfectly clearly that she also has advantages undreamt-of by her 'unaffected peers.' More than compensation, in her estimation.[/b]
Have I not been stating this from [i]day one[/i] here? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] all the same, I also understand I have ginormous limp...my fellow board members, on occassion, remind me how it hinders me. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] BTW, prepare thyself, I have discovered an easy way to post video. . . [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Quote:[b](Not many 4 yo compare and contrast Sesame Street and Dickensian London, and 'average' people never have the two things intersect mentally...) [/b]
Hmmmmm. How unusual. I always made the leap between Star Trek and Sesame Street. Big Bird was Captain Kirk. McCoy, Oscar, and Lt Uhura, Maria. Sure the Count would have been a perfect shoo in for Spock, but I gave it to the zen inchworm.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited May 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 10:50pm
JacksonsMom's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/21/2002 - 09:00

Thank you Corvallis Mom, for posting those links for me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 05/28/2007 - 5:23am
McCobbre's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....
The second quote is also why I feel (strongly) that differences from 'median' which are more than two standard deviations from the 'average' in [i]either direction[/i] are really best identified as 'special education' services.
(But a whole lot of crowing "GT" parents wouldn't be so happy to have their kids included in [i]that[/i] kind of 'gifted' program, now would they?)
... omitted stuff
What a great post, MommaBear. [/b]
I'm grateful for the link MB.
And CM--when I was reading MB's post, before I even read the article in the link, I was actually thinking about GT more than food allergies. So your comment made me smile.
Yep--special needs. It's all about meeting the need, whereever your child is, whatever the need is.

Peanut Free and Nut Free Community

Click on one of the categories below to see all topics and discussions.

Latest Discussions

Latest Post by doggydude Sun, 07/19/2020 - 4:36am
Comments: 1
Latest Post by Tinsley Thu, 07/16/2020 - 8:12am
Comments: 5
Latest Post by Tinsley Thu, 07/16/2020 - 7:21am
Comments: 13
Latest Post by beachgal2020 Wed, 07/15/2020 - 1:45pm
Comments: 79
Latest Post by doggydude Wed, 07/15/2020 - 12:46pm
Comments: 46
Latest Post by beachgal2020 Thu, 07/09/2020 - 2:17pm
Comments: 173

Peanut Free Store

More Articles

Peanut oil is an inexpensive, healthful and inoffensive way to cook—unless you have a peanut allergy!

Light peanut oil is popular as a...

Are you looking for peanut-free candies as a special treat for a child with...

People with peanut allergy should know about foods to avoid, as many who are allergic to peanuts are allergic to other nuts like walnuts, cashews...

If you or your child has a peanut allergy, that unmistakable smell of peanuts wafting through the air...

Whether you have a child with a peanut allergy or you are sensitive to packing a nut-free lunch out of concern for other people’s children, it is...

For those living with peanut allergies, having a source of ready-to-eat 'safe' foods can be a...

Those with severe peanut allergies soon learn to look for the 'peanut-free sign' on any packaged food purchase. This is a notation found on a wide...

For many people with peanut allergies, baked goods present one of the most significant risks. Even if...

Are you craving sweets? Those with peanut allergies must be especially careful when indulging their...

Peanuts and Nuts Can Trigger An Asthma Attack

According to the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology (AAAI), more than 3...

There are more "peanut-free" products than ever on the supermarket shelves. This means more choices than ever for peanut-allergic shoppers and...

It Is Easy To Buy Peanut Free Chocolate Online

Ask any parent of a child with a potentially life-...

How Do You Determine If A Food Is Safe For A Peanut Allergic Person?

The answer varies. “Peanut-free” means different things to different...

Recently, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a New Drug Application for an epinephrine auto-injector (EAI) designed for use with...

Fact 1: Over a third of food allergy reactions happen after the first known oral...

It can be easy to overlook the presence of nut allergens in non-food items because the allergens are often listed by their Latin or scientific...

It’s hard to think of Chinese food without thinking of peanuts. China is the world’s leading peanut producer, and that’s not a coincidence....

Soymilk is one of the most popular alternatives to cow’s milk. As well as being rich in fiber, soy is a great source of protein and contains all...

My mom was at a lakeside restaurant enjoying fish and chips when her mouth began tingling. The next day at a family gathering, we had grilled...

Peanuts and peanut oil are cheap and easy additives to food and other commercial goods. It is surprising (and alarming if you have a...