This person \"Gets It\"

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[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm[/url]

quote:

[i]""Special Needs" is an umbrella underneath which a staggering array of diagnoses can be wedged. Children with special needs may have mild learning disabilities or profound mental retardation; [b]food allergies[/b] or terminal illness; developmental delays that catch up quickly or remain entrenched; occasional panic attacks or serious psychiatric problems."[/i]

Finally categorizing "Special Needs" and "Food Allergies" in the same ballpark...(even if it's not a peanut free one. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img])

quote:

[i]"there are some common concerns that link parents of challenged kids, including getting appropriate care and accommodations; promoting acceptance in the extended family, school and community; planning for an uncertain future; and adjusting routines and expectations."[/i]

I especially like this last quote since it seemed appropriate in light of many threads I've read recently (and many in the past). I think there is a tendency to either over-estimate the impact of food allergies or treat them as if EVERYTHING can be made "level" (or "safe", for that matter), or comparable for our children (or ourselves).

Personally? Regardless of the accommodations, I don't think my oldest child is ever going to have access to [i]the same[/i] [b]exact[/b] experience as someone who doesn't have any dietary concerns, given the nature of an [i]exquisite[/i] food allergy, and be able to maintain a sense of [i]normalacy[/i], or even his dignity, for that matter, if I insist on it. I've tried, and yes, absolutely, I think I might have done [i]some[/i] things differently, now that I have the ability to look back.

I think many times "adjusting routines and expectations" is overlooked and the focus is too intense on seeking "accommodations". Maybe out of avoidance of the inevitable realization.

But no advice, no guarantees on the accuracy, currentness, content, or even applicability of the link in the post. However, I applaud the author.

On May 27, 2007

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....

The second quote is also why I feel (strongly) that differences from 'median' which are more than two standard deviations from the 'average' in [i]either direction[/i] are really best identified as 'special education' services.

(But a whole lot of crowing "GT" parents wouldn't be so happy to have their kids included in [i]that[/i] kind of 'gifted' program, now would they?)

When you get a certain distance away from the [b]average[/b] experience of being a human being.... there [i]is no such thing as 'equal'.[/i] By its nature, things are always going to be [i]just[/i] a little different for you. But does it have to be 'the same' experience to be a good and worthwhile one?

No. There is a reason that 'adaptive behaviors/mitigating measures' is in IDEA and 504. Different doesn't have to be bad, as long as it is safe and doesn't feel like punishment.

What a great post, MommaBear.

On May 27, 2007

Quote:

Originally posted by Corvallis Mom: [b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....

[/b]

standing ovation right back at ya. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] (When I read the article, [i]I applied it to soooooooooo many other aspects of my life[/i]) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

It's our "Special Needs" that point out how much [i]sameness[/i] we have. What is considered a "gift" can be a "disability" and visa versa. KWIM? I just find it distasteful when people pull out the superiority soapbox. [i]I can see the flaws in the "gift", I <<>> where the cracks hide. I know how [b]disabling[/b] a "gift" can be. How much accommdation it might require or even in order to be recognized as a "gift".[/i] YK?

But I'm digressing, on a tangent, and my hands hurt clapping. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

On May 27, 2007

Great article mommabear. Check out this link also: http.//specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm Or just go to the original link and click on 'whats hot - peanut allergies in school'.

Edited to try and put link in again....Can't figure out how to do it so you can click on it. Sorry! I haven't had enough coffee today [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

[This message has been edited by JacksonsMom (edited May 27, 2007).]

[This message has been edited by JacksonsMom (edited May 27, 2007).]

On May 27, 2007

thank you for posting, I soooooo agree(and clapping too!!) HUGS

------------------ Chanda(mother of 4) Sidney-8 (beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig & asthma) Jake-6 (peanut, all tree nuts, eggs, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma) Carson-3 1/2 (milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig and EE) Savannah-1 (milk and egg)

On May 27, 2007

And another important thing that I've learned about this (over the years)... is this:

Such separate and [i]inherently UNequal[/i] things don't have to bother my daughter. They [i]will[/i] break MY heart, of course. But they don't have to break [b]hers[/b] if I manage [i]my own feelings of loss.[/i]

So now, before I push for [i]any[/i] accommodations, I take a step back and ask: "What matters to DD here? And what really matters to [i]me[/i]? And why?"

Does she really even care whether or not her experiences are "the same?" She does NOT. She sees perfectly clearly that she also has advantages undreamt-of by her 'unaffected peers.' More than compensation, in her estimation.

It was much easier to understand that a child whose intellectual development is way out of synch would ultimately have a very different set of life experiences from 'average' (Not many 4 yo compare and contrast Sesame Street and Dickensian London, and 'average' people never have the two things intersect mentally...)

I have been much slower to understand that her FA will also irrevocably alter how she experiences her life. Not 'diminish'-- just 'alter.'

Better to go with the flow of that sometimes. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

[i]Please note, however, that this DOES NOT mean that schools should feel justified in conducting fun hands-on lessons that my child can only 'watch,' or removing her from class parties, or anything like that. That's just hurtful-- the equivalent of taking a child with a severe mobility impairment to a standard playground to 'watch' the other children. [/i]

On May 27, 2007

I think these are the links you were trying to paste in:

[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm[/url]

and

[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/?once=true&"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/?once=true&[/url]

and the one MB quoted from:

[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm[/url]

On May 27, 2007

Quote:

Originally posted by Corvallis Mom: [b]I think these are the links you were trying to paste in:

[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm[/url]

[/b]

great links. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

(oh, and from the link you posted that I quoted is this GREAT blog [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] )

[url="http://www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=43"]http://www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=43[/url]

to the left, I also noted the "Shut up store". [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

I particularly enjoyed this entry:

[url="http://www.shutupabout.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=69&p=53"]http://www.shutupabout.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=69&p=53[/url]

On May 27, 2007

Quote:

Originally posted by Corvallis Mom: [b] She sees perfectly clearly that she also has advantages undreamt-of by her 'unaffected peers.' More than compensation, in her estimation.[/b]

Have I not been stating this from [i]day one[/i] here? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] all the same, I also understand I have ginormous limp...my fellow board members, on occassion, remind me how it hinders me. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] BTW, prepare thyself, I have discovered an easy way to post video. . . [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]

Quote:

[b](Not many 4 yo compare and contrast Sesame Street and Dickensian London, and 'average' people never have the two things intersect mentally...) [/b]

Hmmmmm. How unusual. I always made the leap between Star Trek and Sesame Street. Big Bird was Captain Kirk. McCoy, Oscar, and Lt Uhura, Maria. Sure the Count would have been a perfect shoo in for Spock, but I gave it to the zen inchworm.

[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited May 27, 2007).]

On May 28, 2007

Thank you Corvallis Mom, for posting those links for me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

On May 28, 2007

Quote:

Originally posted by Corvallis Mom: [b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....

The second quote is also why I feel (strongly) that differences from 'median' which are more than two standard deviations from the 'average' in [i]either direction[/i] are really best identified as 'special education' services.

(But a whole lot of crowing "GT" parents wouldn't be so happy to have their kids included in [i]that[/i] kind of 'gifted' program, now would they?)

... omitted stuff

What a great post, MommaBear. [/b]

I'm grateful for the link MB.

And CM--when I was reading MB's post, before I even read the article in the link, I was actually thinking about GT more than food allergies. So your comment made me smile.

Yep--special needs. It's all about meeting the need, whereever your child is, whatever the need is.

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