This person \"Gets It\"

Posted on: Sat, 05/26/2007 - 11:02pm
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm[/url]

quote:

[i]""Special Needs" is an umbrella underneath which a staggering array of diagnoses can be wedged. Children with special needs may have mild learning disabilities or profound mental retardation; [b]food allergies[/b] or terminal illness; developmental delays that catch up quickly or remain entrenched; occasional panic attacks or serious psychiatric problems."[/i]

Finally categorizing "Special Needs" and "Food Allergies" in the same ballpark...(even if it's not a peanut free one. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img])

quote:

[i]"there are some common concerns that link parents of challenged kids, including getting appropriate care and accommodations; promoting acceptance in the extended family, school and community; planning for an uncertain future; and adjusting routines and expectations."[/i]

I especially like this last quote since it seemed appropriate in light of many threads I've read recently (and many in the past). I think there is a tendency to either over-estimate the impact of food allergies or treat them as if EVERYTHING can be made "level" (or "safe", for that matter), or comparable for our children (or ourselves).

Personally? Regardless of the accommodations, I don't think my oldest child is ever going to have access to [i]the same[/i] [b]exact[/b] experience as someone who doesn't have any dietary concerns, given the nature of an [i]exquisite[/i] food allergy, and be able to maintain a sense of [i]normalacy[/i], or even his dignity, for that matter, if I insist on it. I've tried, and yes, absolutely, I think I might have done [i]some[/i] things differently, now that I have the ability to look back.

I think many times "adjusting routines and expectations" is overlooked and the focus is too intense on seeking "accommodations". Maybe out of avoidance of the inevitable realization.

But no advice, no guarantees on the accuracy, currentness, content, or even applicability of the link in the post. However, I applaud the author.

Posted on: Sat, 05/26/2007 - 11:54pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....
The second quote is also why I feel (strongly) that differences from 'median' which are more than two standard deviations from the 'average' in [i]either direction[/i] are really best identified as 'special education' services.
(But a whole lot of crowing "GT" parents wouldn't be so happy to have their kids included in [i]that[/i] kind of 'gifted' program, now would they?)
When you get a certain distance away from the [b]average[/b] experience of being a human being.... there [i]is no such thing as 'equal'.[/i] By its nature, things are always going to be [i]just[/i] a little different for you. But does it have to be 'the same' experience to be a good and worthwhile one?
No. There is a reason that 'adaptive behaviors/mitigating measures' is in IDEA and 504. Different doesn't have to be bad, as long as it is safe and doesn't feel like punishment.
What a great post, MommaBear.

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:11am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....
[/b]
standing ovation right back at ya. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] (When I read the article, [i]I applied it to soooooooooo many other aspects of my life[/i]) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
It's our "Special Needs" that point out how much [i]sameness[/i] we have. What is considered a "gift" can be a "disability" and visa versa. KWIM? I just find it distasteful when people pull out the superiority soapbox. [i]I can see the flaws in the "gift", I <<>> where the cracks hide. I know how [b]disabling[/b] a "gift" can be. How much accommdation it might require or even in order to be recognized as a "gift".[/i] YK?
But I'm digressing, on a tangent, and my hands hurt clapping. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:23am
JacksonsMom's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/21/2002 - 09:00

Great article mommabear.
Check out this link also:
http.//specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm
Or just go to the original link and click on 'whats hot - peanut allergies in school'.
Edited to try and put link in again....Can't figure out how to do it so you can click on it. Sorry! I haven't had enough coffee today [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by JacksonsMom (edited May 27, 2007).]
[This message has been edited by JacksonsMom (edited May 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:28am
chanda4's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/14/2006 - 09:00

thank you for posting, I soooooo agree(and clapping too!!) HUGS
------------------
Chanda(mother of 4)
Sidney-8 (beef and chocolate, grasses, molds, weeds, guinea pig & asthma)
Jake-6 (peanut, all tree nuts, eggs, trees, grasses, weeds, molds, cats, dogs, guinea pig & eczema & asthma)
Carson-3 1/2 (milk, soy, egg, beef and pork, cats, dog, guinea pig and EE)
Savannah-1 (milk and egg)

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:43am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

And another important thing that I've learned about this (over the years)... is this:
Such separate and [i]inherently UNequal[/i] things don't have to bother my daughter. They [i]will[/i] break MY heart, of course. But they don't have to break [b]hers[/b] if I manage [i]my own feelings of loss.[/i]
So now, before I push for [i]any[/i] accommodations, I take a step back and ask: "What matters to DD here? And what really matters to [i]me[/i]? And why?"
Does she really even care whether or not her experiences are "the same?" She does NOT. She sees perfectly clearly that she also has advantages undreamt-of by her 'unaffected peers.' More than compensation, in her estimation.
It was much easier to understand that a child whose intellectual development is way out of synch would ultimately have a very different set of life experiences from 'average' (Not many 4 yo compare and contrast Sesame Street and Dickensian London, and 'average' people never have the two things intersect mentally...)
I have been much slower to understand that her FA will also irrevocably alter how she experiences her life. Not 'diminish'-- just 'alter.'
Better to go with the flow of that sometimes. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
[i]Please note, however, that this DOES NOT mean that schools should feel justified in conducting fun hands-on lessons that my child can only 'watch,' or removing her from class parties, or anything like that. That's just hurtful-- the equivalent of taking a child with a severe mobility impairment to a standard playground to 'watch' the other children. [/i]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 12:50am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

I think these are the links you were trying to paste in:
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm[/url]
and
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/?once=true&"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/?once=true&[/url]
and the one MB quoted from:
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/gettingadiagnosis/p/whatare.htm[/url]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 1:32am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]I think these are the links you were trying to paste in:
[url="http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm"]http://specialchildren.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/peanutsschool.htm[/url]
[/b]
great links. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
(oh, and from the link you posted that I quoted is this GREAT blog [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] )
[url="http://www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=43"]http://www.shutupaboutyourperfectkid.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=43[/url]
to the left, I also noted the "Shut up store".
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
I particularly enjoyed this entry:
[url="http://www.shutupabout.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=69&p=53"]http://www.shutupabout.com/index.php?option=com_jd-wp&Itemid=69&p=53[/url]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 1:40am
MommaBear's picture
Offline
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] She sees perfectly clearly that she also has advantages undreamt-of by her 'unaffected peers.' More than compensation, in her estimation.[/b]
Have I not been stating this from [i]day one[/i] here? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] all the same, I also understand I have ginormous limp...my fellow board members, on occassion, remind me how it hinders me. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img] BTW, prepare thyself, I have discovered an easy way to post video. . . [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
Quote:[b](Not many 4 yo compare and contrast Sesame Street and Dickensian London, and 'average' people never have the two things intersect mentally...) [/b]
Hmmmmm. How unusual. I always made the leap between Star Trek and Sesame Street. Big Bird was Captain Kirk. McCoy, Oscar, and Lt Uhura, Maria. Sure the Count would have been a perfect shoo in for Spock, but I gave it to the zen inchworm.
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited May 27, 2007).]

Posted on: Sun, 05/27/2007 - 10:50pm
JacksonsMom's picture
Offline
Joined: 07/21/2002 - 09:00

Thank you Corvallis Mom, for posting those links for me [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Mon, 05/28/2007 - 5:23am
McCobbre's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b] [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] That sound you're hearing is a standing ovation....
The second quote is also why I feel (strongly) that differences from 'median' which are more than two standard deviations from the 'average' in [i]either direction[/i] are really best identified as 'special education' services.
(But a whole lot of crowing "GT" parents wouldn't be so happy to have their kids included in [i]that[/i] kind of 'gifted' program, now would they?)
... omitted stuff
What a great post, MommaBear. [/b]
I'm grateful for the link MB.
And CM--when I was reading MB's post, before I even read the article in the link, I was actually thinking about GT more than food allergies. So your comment made me smile.
Yep--special needs. It's all about meeting the need, whereever your child is, whatever the need is.

More Community Posts

Peanut Free and Nut Free Community

create a new community post
Latest Post by Italia38 Tue, 11/12/2019 - 2:43pm
Comments: 2
Latest Post by absfabs Mon, 11/11/2019 - 1:28pm
Comments: 2
Latest Post by absfabs Mon, 11/11/2019 - 1:23pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by Italia38 Fri, 11/08/2019 - 12:10pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by Italia38 Fri, 11/08/2019 - 11:47am
Comments: 6
Latest Post by sunshinestate Thu, 11/07/2019 - 3:43pm
Comments: 4
Latest Post by sunshinestate Thu, 11/07/2019 - 2:48pm
Comments: 7
Latest Post by penelope Tue, 11/05/2019 - 3:44pm
Comments: 12
Latest Post by penelope Tue, 11/05/2019 - 3:35pm
Comments: 13
Latest Post by absfabs Tue, 11/05/2019 - 2:11pm
Comments: 6
Latest Post by absfabs Tue, 11/05/2019 - 2:09pm
Comments: 5
Latest Post by chicken Tue, 11/05/2019 - 12:06pm
Comments: 5
Latest Post by sunshinestate Mon, 11/04/2019 - 1:44pm
Comments: 3
Latest Post by sunshinestate Thu, 10/31/2019 - 11:20am
Comments: 2

More Articles

For people who suffer from anaphylaxis, a severe allergic reaction that can result from an allergy to...

Anaphylactic shock (A-nuh-fih-LAK-tik shok): A severe and sometimes life-threatening immune system reaction to an antigen that a person has been...

In 1963 the American Medical Association designed a special symbol that would alert emergency medical personnel of special medical conditions when...

Finding allergy-free foods for an office potluck may seem impossible, but more options are available than you might think. Eating foods prepared...

One of the most difficult things for a parent to do is determine whether his or her toddler has a cold or a...

More Articles

More Articles

You no doubt have your own way of teaching people about your child’s food allergy, a way that suits your temperament, and style of communication....

Reliable peanut allergy statistics are not that easy to come by. There is a lot of available research on food allergies in general but not too...

Most people know that to enjoy whatever food safety accommodations an airline offers they need to inform the airline of their allergy prior to...

A 504 plan* documents food allergy accommodations agreed to by parents and their child’s school. Plans are typically created during a 504 meeting...

If there is a child at your children's school allergic to peanuts, the school probably discourages or may not allow peanut products to be brought...

If you are on a budget, but you need to wear some sort of notification that you have a peanut...

Unless we consciously carve out time for self-care, constant food allergy management can slowly erode our sense of well-being. Signs of allergy-...

Peanuts cause more severe food allergic reactions than other foods, followed by shellfish, fish, tree nuts and eggs. Although there is only a...

If you avoid peanuts, it’s likely you know the joy of cashews. Slightly sweet and smooth in texture, cashews provide not only relief to those with...

The prevalence of food allergy has dramatically increased over the past two to three decades, and not just among children. Preliminary results...

When someone in the family is diagnosed with a food allergy, a choice must be made whether to ban the problem food or foods from the home. The...

Looking for a fun way to share what you know about your own food allergies? Or are you hoping to educate the people around you in a fun way about...

According to the results of a new study, children lacking Vitamin D may be more susceptible to food allergies. Researchers working at the Albert...

If you or your child has a peanut or nut allergy, identifying the presence of nuts in food becomes a priority, but what if the written or spoken...

Soap allergies can cause a lot of discomfort and itching. If you suddenly develop a rash or bumps on your skin, you may suspect that you have an...