This mother will not give up...

Posted on: Fri, 10/24/2003 - 7:18am
virginia mom's picture
Joined: 03/12/2003 - 09:00

Not only does this mother not "get it", but it seems as though she has it out for my child - Last year, my daughter and her daughter were in the Kindergarten grade but different classrooms. Since the children switched rooms during the day, both classrooms were peanut free. Now, this mother's daughter has low blood sugar, and, as a result, has to have peanut butter as a snack during school. Last year, because of the peanut free classroom, she had her snack in the clinic. This year, this mother is not satisfied with her daughter having a 1:30 snack in the clinic and wants her to have it in the classroom. The teacher asked if I would agree to this and I had to say "no". I can tell that this will not end here but why does this mother want to play Russian Roulette with my daughter's life? It's not like she doesn't understand the risk - our daughters have been in the same preschool and grade school since they were two years old.

Posted on: Fri, 10/24/2003 - 9:10am
ALLERGYMOM's picture
Joined: 10/09/2003 - 09:00

Does it have to be peanut butter? and if so why? Cant she use candy or something else? I know when my grandmothers sugar drops she drinks orange juice or eats a mint or some type of candy.
I wish you luck and keep us posted on how it goes ok [img][/img] Sorry this is happening to you. Like we dont have enough to worry about huh.........
Have a great day [img][/img]

Posted on: Fri, 10/24/2003 - 10:53am
Kathryn's picture
Joined: 02/17/1999 - 09:00

Well, I would just let the school know that you appreciate that the special needs of all children need to be accommodated but in this case that means that the classroom is off limits for peanut butter. You might ask the teacher if peanut butter is the only alternative as another food would be safe for the classroom.

Posted on: Fri, 10/24/2003 - 10:58am
virginia mom's picture
Joined: 03/12/2003 - 09:00

According to this mother, it HAS to be peanut butter. My daughter's pediatrician said that if this girl was her patient, she would recommend yogurt - but of course if I suggest it, the mother will rip my head off. When I was young, I also had low blood sugar and my father, who is a doctor, would give me a piece of candy or a stick of gum when I started "fading". What this mom does not want to realize is that she has a choice of foods to keep her daughter's blood sugar regulated - our only "choice" for PA is avoidance and, as we all know, that is not always easy. I'm going to send a note in to the first grade teachers on Monday, along with a copy for the school nurse, reiterating the need for vigilance in keeping the classrooms peanut free. It would only take one "oops" episode for a tragedy to occur. Thanks for responding and I'll keep you posted.

Posted on: Fri, 10/24/2003 - 12:19pm
Peg541's picture
Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Funny the teacher should ask you if you mind? Sure I mind if you try to kill my child! I'd go after the teacher first and then administration. Let them deal with the mother.

Posted on: Mon, 10/27/2003 - 12:38pm
domesticgodess's picture
Joined: 08/26/2003 - 09:00

sounds to me like it is less a medical problem for the other mother and daughter, and more of a spoiled child issue!just my outlook on it.never has NOT HAVING peanut butter killed or harmed anyone.correct me if i am wrong!maybe you could take some crafts into this mother? keep her busy? must be nice to have all that time on your hands?
i just have a slice of orange or a glass of juice and that seems to bring my sugar up instantly!

Posted on: Mon, 10/27/2003 - 1:11pm
becca's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

This is so frustrating, when schools put you in this position. I am with Peg. You should not be asked if you mind. Perhaps informed that there is an issue, but the school has a policy in place and has a responsibility to uphold that policy. It is their job to take that stance objectively and deal with the other mother re: her child's issue. I guess it compares to making our kid sit alone to eat, but there are other food choices that would be safe to have in class, so there goes that argument.
I would address it with the teacher that you would appreciate them upholding the present policy as the position of the school and having nothing to do with any conversation with you. I made sure when we enrolled in our preschool, that *if* they decided to go "PN free", that it be made very clear it is the school's decision. Even if it were at my request, ultimately it is a school decision. Unfair to pit you and this other mother against each other. becca

Posted on: Mon, 10/27/2003 - 10:55pm
Dawn's picture
Joined: 02/22/1999 - 09:00

Hmmm...I wonder if your daughter was allergic to milk that the [b]only[/b] snack her daughter could have would be cheese?
I agree with the others. The school should tackle this, not you. Seems like an easy solution. PB in the clinic, no PB in the classroom - her choice.
Good luck - keep us posted!
[This message has been edited by Dawn (edited October 28, 2003).]

Posted on: Tue, 10/28/2003 - 12:38am
kkeene's picture
Joined: 10/20/2003 - 09:00

Sorry I didn't have the time to read all of the other posts so sorry if this has already been said.
It is my understanding that it is very difficult to get a room P free in the first place & it requires latters from your childs Dr to even get the school to accept that it has to be this way.
So should this other mother not have to do the same. Does her Dr really tell her it has to be PB. Perhaps the school should request a letter from her DR. & have the mom make sure that the Dr is aware there is a PA airborne child in the class.
I can't see any Dr. ordering this & if the request for the letter might just get is mother into the Dr's office perhaps he could make her understand both childrens needs.

Posted on: Tue, 10/28/2003 - 5:16am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

posting this to compliment thread.

Posted on: Thu, 10/30/2003 - 5:04am
rilira's picture
Joined: 11/11/1999 - 09:00

We had a similar issue on the first day of school. A classmate of my daughter's is diabetic. At 10:00 her mother walked into class unannounced and called out to her daughter that it was time for her snack -of course PB crackers. The daughter was horrified because her mom made such a scene.
The teacher pulled the mother outside and explained the nut free status of the classroom. Well, mom brought a whole bag of snacks for her daughter to have in the classroom- all nuts. Well the teacher and I talked and I said if the little girls doctor says she has to have nuts then we will have to accomadate something we would have to make something work.
So next I went to talk to the health aide -who blew a fuse. She called the mother and explained evidently not for the first time about the nut free classroom. Come to find out mom had not even taken our new school schedule into consideration. The girl eats breakfast at school which happens at 9:00 am - she doesn't need a snack at 10:00. Our snack time is 11:15 and that should be fine. Also the mom didn't want her to forget a snack so that why she wanted them in the room. Every other kid has to bring their snack everyday but this mother didn't want the hassle. Our school has a large diabetic population and every other kid keeps their emergency snacks in the health office. which is where they should be if they are feeling like their sugar is low.
Anyway my point (yes I eventually have one) is try to further investigate the issue and try to be diplomatic - find out if there is legitimacy to her request or not.
Good luck,


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