thinking ahead to teenage years

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For those of you who have lived through teenage years with PA I have a question. My 6 year old dd is very spirited in nature. I often think about her as a teenager. When it comes time for her to date, will she be wise enough to ask her date if he has eaten nuts recently. Worse yet, will he be smart enough to answer truthfully or will he just be thinking about getting the kiss. I think about this alot because my oldest daughter is heading to highschool in the fall and I know how fast time goes. I worry about the hormones taking over for the common sense. We all know that teenagers don't want to be singled out as being different.

On Feb 10, 2004

My PA son is 19 and has grown up with the full knowledge that his PA is fatal. In a gentle kind way though. He knows how to take care of himself in an emergency and how to mobilize those around him when he needs help.

He is off to college for the first time this year and doing very well.

The usual teenage rebellion did not hit us with both kids and I think that had a lot to do with how we approached the whole thing.

I can't imagine a PA kid rebelling and eating peanuts or deliberately doing something so dangerous. But you never know.

We are partners with DS and I never held back anything. We discussed kissing, drinking, sex, everything that I thought they needed to know, including how PA affects all of these things.

We also managed to raise two children who care nothing for peer pressure and always went their own ways happily and safely. They are kind decent brilliant interesting adults today. I'm not saying middle school was fun but they managed to finish unscathed and wiser to boot.

If I get a thought of something I need to go over with DS in regards to his PA he is usually open and ready to discuss. I try to not flood him with my worries, he has his own worries about the situation. But he has made a lovely life for himself and looks toward his future eagerly.

Yes he is different and he knows that. He also celebrates his difference now that he is old enough to not let it weigh him down.

And Yes his world is smaller than we would like it to be but out of necessity. He is making the best out of what he has and what more could we ask for?

I would say be honest as soon as your child is old enough to handle the whole story. Give it to him in little bites here and there.

I always found that it was easiest to talk about difficult things while driving. It still works today. We get plenty of eye contact all day long but when it comes time to discuss kissing and sex and peanuts and drinking etc it really works well in the car. Both kids benefited and you have a captive audience. And again, not too much at once. Choose your battles.

Good luck Use my email anytime you need to talk.

Peggy

On Feb 10, 2004

Thanks Peggy! I am glad to hear that your son is doing well in college. I remember that you were so worried about him last summer when you were getting ready to send him off for the first time. I think the " first times" are always the hardest. My PA/TNA dd is my 4th child. So, I have been through many firsts with my other kids, she of course is " special." We've gotten through preschool and now we are managing our first year in the lunchroom. I just recently let her go to her friends house for the first time. (Other than someone who lives on our neighborhood) I know that she understands as much as any 6 year old can. I worry more about other people not understanding. Like a teenage boy who wants to have a little kiss!!!!! And I agree, the car is a great place for important conversations. If for no other reason than they can't escape you!

On Feb 10, 2004

I thought maybe I should tell this story.

A co-worker told me when she was dating her husband, he told her he was allergic to peanuts & tree nuts.

She didn't believe him and thought he was joking with her. She bought a package of M & M peanuts and stuck one in his mouth while he was driving.

The next place they went was the ER because his face blew up like a balloon.

So, please tell your children to tell their friends that it is not a joke and they could die from eating peanuts.

On Feb 10, 2004

Here is a link to a previous thread about kissing:

[url="http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum24/HTML/000015.html"]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/Forum24/HTML/000015.html[/url]

On Feb 11, 2004

The teenage years worry me because there is drinking involved. I am not naiive, and while I will tell my children 'no alcohol' I know what went on in MY high school. Even 'good' kids had the occassional beer/or equiv. I'm afraid that if my daughter drinks she will forget precaution about peanuts. Same in college.

On Feb 11, 2004

MicheleR, Thanks for the link. I never thought to do a search on "kissing!" Probably because it wasn't the only thing I was thinking about. But, after reading only some of those comments, I know I have a lot to look forward to with my daughter . Now I can pray even harder for some sort of vaccine before she is ready for the kissing stage!!!

On Feb 11, 2004

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[This message has been edited by deegann (edited March 15, 2004).]

On Feb 12, 2004

I have these exact worries.

We saw a new allergist Tuesday who said that the companies making Tanox have "made up" and research is continuing. She felt confident that it would be available within 5 years. I hope so... well before the teen years.

Paula

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