The Death Thing

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 10:22am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

The death thing. Hadn't thought about that in quite some time. Yes, use the words life-threatening and severe here quite a bit but Chrikey, the death thing.

Is it something that we block?

Can you imagine living 24/7 knowing that your child could die because of a stupid peanut?

Or are we all doing that somehow? And what are the coping mechanisms for doing that exactly?

How is it that we're not all wigged out individuals?

Best wishes!


Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 11:18am
momma2boys's picture
Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

I have my moments being wigged out [img][/img] . Seriously though, I do. I think that certain things remind me of the death thing and it freaks me out. Then you block it out because you can't live your life thinking about it all the time.
I wonder how many years it takes off our lives?
[This message has been edited by momma2boys (edited July 27, 2004).]

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 11:21am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Alternative to Mainstream:
[b]Can you imagine living 24/7 knowing that your child could die because of a stupid peanut?
would it be "just" a [i]stupid[/i] peanut, or a much more insideous peanut?
Maybe even a series of events, some possibly that we were unaware of? Possibly relying on past experiences? Relying on others food preparation, label reading, word of mouth, or just plain other's [i]judgement[/i]?
Would contributory factors be because someone forgot their epi-pen, refused to carry it, or [i]ignored increasing symptoms[/i]? Not implying an epi-pen is a guarantee, not implying anything, not implying blaming the victim. Just remembering some of the deaths I've read about attributed to PA.
I mean, I don't know if I'm ready to give a peanut that much power over my family's lives.
You've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 11:41am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Momma Bear, your post is very thought provoking and will require further thought before I can respond. [img][/img]
momma2boys, I just posted this in another thread. It was something California Mom said and I remembered. Just thinking about this within the last couple of days. Clicked into me that I don't often think that yes, Jesse *could* die.
Is it because the Epi-belt is strapped around his waist whenever we leave the house?
Is it because we have the "comfort zone" we have?
Why is it that I don't very often thing about "the death thing" anymore? And then, to extend that, why, what was it the other day, that MADE me think about it?
When I've read here about other things that are considered "risky business" perhaps in comparison to PA - having your child ride in a car and the possibility of a car accident. Well, my children don't do that (only because they have idiots for parents [img][/img] )
Perhaps in just crossing a four lane road to get a bag of potato chips there was some risk involved, but yes, I do consider the risk from PA to be much greater. Why?
The residue factor?
I do think that I, for the most part, BLOCK it. I didn't even know about the whole blocking mechanism until I met current DH who chooses to block a great many things.
But blocking is not denial. Right? It's a way to cope so that we are not slowly (or perhaps quickly) driven insane.
And even with that looming in the back of our brains, we all somehow manage to lead relatively *normal* lives, don't we?
Struggling tonight with that. Not clear why.
Perhaps because I can't remember why it was I just thought about that within the last couple of days. Yes, that Jesse could die.
Of course, the thought did go away or I would have posted it here when it happened, but when I read a post by California Mom to-day it came back. Yes, the death thing. [img][/img]
Best wishes! [img][/img]

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 11:45am
Danielle's picture
Joined: 04/08/2003 - 09:00

To be honest, I think I am wigged out but not all in a negative way. We are going on 18 months since her first reaction and each day I feel like it is a blessing that I haven't had to use the epi. I always keep in my mind that it WILL HAPPEN AGAIN and I must be ready and prepared and I do think of it constantly. Last night, we were out at a party (just me and hubby) and I looked down to see peanuts and I said to the man next to me "so strange to think that those could kill my daughter". It is with me every single second of the day and night with my 3 year old PA and possible 19 month old since she has allergies/intolerance to wheat, rice, oats, barley, egg abd blueberry. I am really so strict with it all and have become even more diligent and compulsive. The life threatening thing always comes up when I explain it to people because I am afraid that they will not "get it". I really hope one day that there can be something that takes away the life threatening part of these food allergies. I can live with staying away from the peanuts/nuts but the life threatening aspect just scares me beyond belief. I wish I could say I was more relaxed but still diligent about it but I am honest on these boards and I know that I worry about it day and night.

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 11:51am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
Great point though. I don't think there are many medical conditions that can be life threatening at any moment like f.a. [/b]
I disagree.
I mean, there are a great many people walking around there with AAA's (my father was one), AICD's (for cardiac arrythmia's----my uncle has one), Diabetes, Asthma (my son has had numerous close close [i]close calls[/i] even with active prevention and diligent monitoring, CHF (ie: flash pulmonary edema), Tracheostomies, Seizure Disorders (ie: SUDEP: Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy------[b]the statistics are amazing[/b]), and even certain Cardiovascular Disease and Strokes Just Waiting to Happen (uncontrolled high blood pressure comes to mind and noting some people have a great deal of difficulty controlling it even when they are compliant). I mean, to name a few, and just off the top of my head.
If there weren't, [i]I may not have a Job[/i]. I've seen someone's blood sugar [i]plummet[/i]. I've scrambled to a patient bedside with the crash cart as their heart rate bradys down to asystole. I've seen patients arrest from a tiny clot that decided to move. Clotting disorders, hate 'em. I mean, sometimes, ya just can't spot who has them.
Not trying to disparage the seriousness of PA, just trying to relate that I don't feel my sons are such an oddity in the health maintenance realm. Quite the contrary, we've been blessed. Our burdens are light, and I'm thankful.(And I just couldn't walk by certain aspects of the post, hope you understand.) I mean, [i]it's not the way I see it, and I wanted to give voice to that.[/i] maybe it's just me.
........I have a family member who recently suffered a horrendous accident while driving. Nearly took her life, and even months later, she is still suffering, and events of that day could still claim her life. As far as we can tell, it was due to a rather common medical condition.

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 11:57am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Forgot to mention in my previous post: I mean, one death sudden, others were [i]lingering[/i], but have lost several close family members to diabetes and diabetic complications. I just pray pray pray my son's never receive the burden that accompanies Diabetes.

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 1:36pm
WoozerMom's picture
Joined: 12/28/2000 - 09:00

Just stopped by, and I saw this topic. I am PA/TBA, and I only think about the "death thing" when I get on a plane. That is the only time when I feel not in control of the allergy. I think you will find as your children grow older, they will learn to manage their allergies. I will be 65 in November.

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 2:26pm
Mom2Sariah's picture
Joined: 12/14/2003 - 09:00

The "death thing" seems to hit me about every other day. Plus during my sleep. I often wonder if it will go away or become easier to block or fade as the years come?? hmmmmm.....I'd like to think so.

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 2:29pm
persnicketyFriend's picture
Joined: 05/14/2004 - 09:00

You said, "Great point though. I don't think there are many medical conditions that can be life threatening at any moment like f.a. You know what I mean." My husband has a severe shellfish allergy, but besides having a f.a., he's allergic to bee stings. It's JUST as scary to me. I think about it every time I see a bee or wasp fly by him, although though he's much more calm about it than I am...
I think being the parent/wife or person with a f.a. or another life-threatening allergy, it's on your mind daily, whether subconsciously or not. Scary... It never goes away...

Posted on: Mon, 07/26/2004 - 2:34pm
e-mom's picture
Joined: 04/23/2000 - 09:00

For me, it has NEVER crossed my mind that my son could die from eating a peanut--NEVER!
What crosses my mind is he might get hit by a car or we might get into a car accident. I also say a prayer [b]every[/b] time I/we fly.
I fear death a great deal but I don't relate peanuts as being a part of it.
On another note, WOOZERMOM, wow! Glad to see that you are still around this board. I think of you often and wonder if you are still with us. [img][/img]
[This message has been edited by e-mom (edited July 27, 2004).]


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