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Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 1:30am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]Mommabear, why in the world does Turlisa need to know about 504's or IEP's????? [/b]
because they possibly can be a useful tool in navigating PA?
is what the A.S.E plan presents contradictory to the any "plan" themom has consented to? I don't know. If it does, then [i]what's the point[/i]? (Is this a "patient confidentiality" issue?)
So, do I now give others the authority to lay out in writing life and death decisions for my child? I mean, can we even agree amongst ourselves what is appropriate? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Has the school agreed to a "ban" and is it currently in place. Would this plan revoke that? What does "themom" desire?
Got to imagine if after I consented to an IEP, 504, [i]whatever[/i] for my cubs, someone else could write up [i]their own plan[/i], bring it to a board meeting discuss my cubs publicly, and change/negate what is essentially [b]my *right* as a parent and guardian[/b]. And what *should* for all intents and purposes be a *private/confidential matter*. How would you feel if your neighbors invited themselves to your *yearly physical*???? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]
I mean, as far as I understand it, the only *rights* I/my cubs have at school is what enables my cubs to recieve a free and appropriate public education. I COULD BE WRONG.
General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form.

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 1:32am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]Mommabear, why in the world does Turlisa need to know about 504's or IEP's????? She is presenting a plan at this meeting. [/b]

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 1:39am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by momma2boys:
[b]And before my son started school, I had no clue what a 504 was, so why you feel she must know this is beyond me. [/b]
[i]do you think the school board *should know*[/i]
Maybe it's a Standard of Care/Ethical Issue. I don't know, maybe I just come from a different *perspective*.

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 1:39am
momma2boys's picture
Joined: 03/14/2003 - 09:00

Mommabear, what I'm saying is we can't stop her or anyone else from showing up with their own suggestions for plans. Even at our own schools. I am assuming that the school will say "We have a plan that was agreed upon with the school and the family. Period"
So look beyond the plan. Let the school deal with it.
As far as 504's and navigating pa, she doesn't have to do that. We as parents of pa children have to do that. All she has to do is abide by the rules!!
Put simply, dealing with all this crap is a major pain in the a$$!! I hate having to deal with it. I hate that my child has to have accomodations and I can't just drop him off at school with no worries. It is a LOT of work getting a pa child to school. Why in the world would I think that non pa parents need to know all the same info and be as knowledgable about it as I am? All I ask for is understanding and that they abide by the rules.
turlisa is going to the meeting with the plan she made up, period. What good is it doing for you to piss her off, and themom, who obviously does not want you to treat her this way? Do you think themom will be happy if turlisa says screw it, i've had enough, i'm not going to bother? I don't think that will happen, because I think she wants to help, but what if?

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 3:31am
California Mom's picture
Joined: 07/14/2000 - 09:00

2 quick points:
1) themom; I hope you will reconsider having a 504 for your son. The whole point of it is to give your son legal protection if his rights are violated. Whatever the school is willing to do to keep your son safe should be in a 504 document.
2) MommaBear is trying to help. She has a different style than many who post. I (of all people [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] ) do know that it can be unsettling at times.
However, I am certain that she means only the best and she does bring up an awful lot of good points!!!
[img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img] Miriam
p.s. themom, good luck at the meeting!!!!

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:16am
mommyofmatt's picture
Joined: 03/12/2004 - 09:00

Best of luck at the meeting! I think you have a good plan to stay anonymous for now, find out what everyone's thinking, and then craft a calm, rational argument for your son's safety. It sounds simple to do on paper right?!, but I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. {{{HUGS}}}}}
Hey, I even got teary eyed ordering my son's medic alert bracelet. LOL at how pathetic I am....
I hope this all dies down for you and you achieve a plan that you're comfortable with so your son can be properly educated and stay safe!!!
Lisa, PLEASE go the meeting and support themom. She needs your support to help diffuse a situation that sounds like it has gotten out of hand. Don't let your frustrations from this sight distract you from doing something incredibly helpful to protect the life of a child!
And, again, thank you for all the time you've taken to learn about food allergies and in trying to turn a bad situation around!!
By admitting that you made a mistake in your initial protests, and saying that you've learned how deadly this allergy can be, will I think calm people down to a more manageable degree to at least listen to the rationale behind the current plan.
And, that is what themom needs.
Meg, mom to:
Matt 2 yrs. PA,MA,EA
Sean 2 yrs. NKA

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:36am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

is supporting "themom" equivocable to supporting what accommodations [i]"themom"[/i] requests?

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:40am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by mommyofmatt:
[i]By admitting that you made a mistake in your initial protests, and saying that you've learned how deadly this allergy can be, will I think calm people down to a more manageable degree to at least listen to the rationale behind [b]the current plan[/b].
And, that is what themom needs.
trying to imagine the message sent if someone who made such a turn around would support something in the manner described above.
General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. Just letting my imagination run wild. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/tongue.gif[/img]

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:44am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by themom:
[i]So Lisa, are you saying that in order for my son to be somewhat protected at school, and others not threaten his life by sending in PB on purpose, I have to let them have a room where the toxic substance has to be allowed?
We dont have a 504 plan anymore. We have an IEP but the allergy is not under the IEP, just a Health plan. The school violiated the 504 we did have last year numerous times. Hence the lack of trust.
This is my son's LIFE, he is only 7. I wish I did not have to send him to school, but I am not qualified to teach him through his learning disability. We are not rich, I am a stay at home mom. I hAVE Ayounter boy as well.
[b]If people are willing to send in pb products on purpose, I dont want to give these same people permission to bring it in at all.[/b]
I think I understand better than most people give me credit for. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
ps........was OHI ever discussed under an IEP to cover your child's Food Allergy?
General Disclaimer: I am not offering advice in any manner or form. Just asking a question.

Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2004 - 4:49am
e-mom's picture
Joined: 04/23/2000 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by turlisa:
[b]so many to respond to.. I cant believe the sh*t I am taking just trying to help out. Whats in this for me? absolutely nothing!
to MommaBear, I am not even going to respond to the dangerous weapons question. Lets not get off focus here.
e-mom, what am I telling these people now? I am telling them that there is a real danger that they should take the time to learn about like I have, but that maybe there is a way to accommodate everybodys needs. To answer your other question, yes, for the most part, I think it is a control issue. Its almost like,[i] I will do anything I can to help you out, but dont demand that I do it or I will stop in a heartbeat.[/i]
And you are right, I have gotten myself incredibly involved in this. Why? because I in a state of anger, and without knowing what I know now, I wrote a letter to the editor, put up posters and helped to get the protest going,I helped to fan the flames so to speak. So after I learned about it, i tried to put together a plan to difuse tempers and still KEEP THIS LITTLE BOY SAFE, why? because I am trying to do the right thing! Am I personally going to send pb to school? no, I am not. What am I getting out of this? I am getting my FULL NAME dragged thru the mud by an @$$clown who is blaming me for everything from the holocaust to the Iraqi war on a local public channel. I am getting ALOT of people who are going to be at that meeting because I was supposed to "let the school board have it" who are now going to be p*$$ed off at me because I am not going to all out fight for them like they are expecting, and MOSTLY I have been getting nothing but SH*T since I came to this site from MommaBear simply because I am trying to help!
What do I want to see happen? I would like this plan go in effect, and by the 2nd week have the kids telling their mothers that " they want something else for lunch " so they can sit in the lunch room with the rest of their friends. I would like to see these people come together and see that this isnt just a story but a little boy who can die if they f#ck up so opt to leave it out of their kids lunches because its the right thing to do. I would like to see that the peanut room isnt needed at all.
I think they are just blowing smoke and venting. I dont think for a minute that they would follow thru with something that horrific, and I think they are looking for a reason to be helpful but cant change their mind without looking like they have no backbone. and some others are just stirring up crap because they like causing trouble.
Do I want pb back in the school? I personally could care less. It was more of a convenience for me so my dd didnt have to eat salami everyday.
to MommaBear about 8&3... that is something the school has in place, it is not something I thought up, I am using the schools wording. (at least one thing you cant argue with me about)
and MommaBear, Like I have said MANY MANY times, NO I PERSONALY WILL NOT SEND PB TO SCHOOL! did you hear me that time? or are we going to address this question again?
You know, in what I have been reading here, alot of you only have peanut free classrooms, and if that is the case why is it so hard to accept a peanut free school with the exception of ONE classroom?
And lastly Themom, I am not saying that at all. I am saying that most of these people [b]are[/b] blowing smoke, and venting their anger at a situation they have no control over. This area in general is more attitude than anything, all talk no action sort of thing. thats why I have alot of support, because I was willing to act. they will continue to protest and talk big, but in all actuality they will comply to the ban. BUT I am also saying that if people see you as a person that is willing to compromise for the needs they [b]think[/b] they have and not just trying to take something away from their kids, when given a choice the majority will be more than happy to do the right thing. And once the parents stop b*tching about it at home, the kids will stop at school.
I have to say though, with all the crap and frustration I have been getting from MB, I'm not sure if its even worth it for me to go the the meeting at all. I wanted to help, and I wanted to offer what support I could, but after all, what am I getting out of it? other than a headache?
***** sorry if I have offended anybody here, but I can have extreme moments of stress and frustration too! I guess what they say is true.. no good deed goes unpunished. [/b]
[taking a break from my never-ending list of things to do! ugh!]
EXCELLENT response! This is the way I was hoping you'd respond to my questions.
Now when you go to the meeting tonight (it's tonight, right?) use your anger and frustration and possibly read what you just posted to the crowd of upset parents (of course changing the names to reflect "the crowd" of parents might be more suitable. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
Ya know, I could almost hear you breathing heavy as you were responding. hehehe [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
Since "the mom" (really wish I had a name here) isn't going to be speaking I would be very glad to know that you will. I'm looking forward to hearing what kind of response you are going to have with these upset parents. As you have been educating yourself with this allergy, I believe that you can also educate some of these other people as well. Perhaps get through to the most outspoken people.
Question that you could ask them: How would they feel if their child and family were in "the mom's" situation? About everyone wanting them out of the town, etc.
I truly hope everything goes well at the meeting and I'm glad you are here giving us input.
Keep it up Lisa, you are going a great job! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]


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