teachers behavior

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 6:03am
krispa24's picture
Joined: 04/10/2007 - 09:00

this is my second time to post, my son is ptna, and in kdg.this school yr has been hard, and there have been a couple of things that have upset me over the last 2 months,first she gave my son a fundraising packet that included a chocolate that is labled may contain peanuts, my son told me he handed it back to her and said he can't have that, thank god. at one party that i was able to attend, she was absent and the sub had no clue about my son,i was furious, and the last one, she did a bird seed craft, without contacting me beforehand and when i picked him up and seen what he had i freaked out inside thinking that it was nuts.that day my husband called and complained , which lead her to call me at home 20 minutes before pickup the next day , telling me that the phone call was inapproiate, and she said things to me that were totally uncalled for: like we should of had a list typed up saying what he cannot have, which we did at the beg. of school, i just didn't list bird seed, because who would of thought of that and i had no clue that she would do a craft with that and i had no clue that most bird seeds contain peanuts and are processed in plants that handle peanut products. so it is all my fault for not informing her. and she doesn't know what i am going to do next year when he is here all day,it went on and on, and one point she said, who is to say when he comes to school that he isn't going to be allergic to the pencil and crayon that he uses, like telling me that she cannot check every single thing. i was so upset that i was almost hyperventilating. i didn't deserve that phone call and now i feel like i have done something wrong. i feel that she had my son in danger with that bird feed, and that she should of notified me before hand to make sure that it was alright, thank god there is only 30 some days left because i can't wait until this is over. i don't know how to face her now and how to handle picking my son up everyday. i love my son and i worry everyday when i put him on the bus if that will be the last time that i see him. i cannot handle this.

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 7:31am
seanmn's picture
Joined: 10/01/2003 - 09:00

Do you have a 504 in place or anything in writing?

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 8:07am
MDGCPA's picture
Joined: 02/03/2007 - 09:00

I am reading your post...and I am tearing up, because it brings back memories of when my DS had the same type of teacher in 1st grade. First and foremost...this is a learning process for all of us. You learn as you go. No one can think of every eventuality. This teacher calling you and accusing you of doing something wrong is EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE!!! A parent has the right to call and question and complain whenever they feel their children are at risk, whether it's allergy related or not!
Over the years we have met with the principal many times to work out what's safe for our son...and we negotiate on an ongoing basis as new things come up. The most important lesson I have learned is the importance of having a formal plan with the school...Especially a 504 Plan. Strongest protection you can have...plus you have the Office of Civil Rights behind you.
I have always requested that the teacher always contact me if she is planning any lesson with food, period. That way we can discuss safety at that time. Manufacturers change ingredients all the time. The list at the beginning of the year would really be insufficient for that very reason. It is her JOB to work with you to keep your child safe, not expect you to know everything she is going to do in advance! Don't let her intimidate you. NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR HUSBAND DID ANYTHING WRONG!
{{{{{hugs}}}}}I know how bad you are feeling...I am sure everyone of us has been there...and it's always at the fault of ignorance. Don't be afraid of this teacher, I would speak to the principal about the "way" she spoke to you, then I would request that she take the steps to prevent this type of incident from happening again. (ie: any food with lessons MUST be cleared with you in advance to make sure it will be safe).
These boards are full of info...it's overwhelming, but read, read, read. You will have to get things set up for safety every year. I generally meet with the principal and new teacher 3 weeks prior to school opening, to work out all things we will do for that year.
[This message has been edited by MDGCPA (edited April 12, 2007).]

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 8:21am
TwokidsNJ's picture
Joined: 05/28/2005 - 09:00

Write a letter to the principal explaining what happened and in the letter, request a meeting.
Request an IHCP (Individualized Health Care Plan) and/or a 504.
Write a letter to the teacher with your expectations for the remainder of this year.
Do not be afraid to document her on this. SHE was TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE and she needs to be called on it.
I have been thru it this year (though nothing bad like this has happened; but the K teacher does not always like my formal communication but yaknowwhat -- It has WORKED and resulted in winning over the principal, putting in place in an IHCP for my son and the district putting together a food allergy policy committee.

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 8:23am
TwokidsNJ's picture
Joined: 05/28/2005 - 09:00

One more thing - what STATE are you in? Do you have any state laws on your side?
Also, is there a District or School food allergy policy?

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 8:30am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00


Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 8:33am
Christabelle's picture
Joined: 10/03/2004 - 09:00

Wow, I can't even imagine what I'd do if a teacher called me like that and said those things. Boy would she have picked the wrong girl (me) if she tried it. In the first place, my temper (which is considerable and can be a very cool, nasty burn on my tongue in my responses ) would've taken over in the moment. I would've sliced her up, probably not the 100% best approach initially.
Please do not be intimidated by this fool. How can you face her? Are you kidding? Sweetie, she should be so ashamed to have called and treated you this way. I would take the incident of that phone call ALL THE WAY up the food chain. She needs a big slap down for it.
The bottom line is - she is wrong, you are right, and you need to nip it in the bud. Get it in writing, put it in a 504, and in the meantime, report her for her rude behavior. I think it would be reasonable to say she was harassing you for your child's disability. That should perk up a few ears.
I work with a man with a peanut allergic child. He plans to simply say - like DeeDee in Little Man Tate - "you harm my child with peanuts, and I'll kill you."
Interesting, if it wouldn't get me jailed for threats or something, oh how I'd love to just say that and get right to the point. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 9:50am
Hnonut's picture
Joined: 01/21/2007 - 09:00

I read so many posts on this board about how difficult it is for kids to deal with food allergy. I can't even imagine. I developed my allergies at age 27, after an extended illness. After dealing with the fear and the anger... and the ignorance... I've decided to go back to college and work towards a degree that will allow me to work in the schools in some capacity. I'm still torn between teaching and library science. Perhaps both! At least I'll be able to make a difference from the inside.
I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all of that. I hope that I can help in some small way. It shouldn't have to be as difficult as it is to help people to understand what parents, children... and anyone with this condition has to go through.
Sorry... rambled a bit.
I'm new to the board, so feel free to teach me the rules and such.
Take care!

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 10:54am
TwokidsNJ's picture
Joined: 05/28/2005 - 09:00

I agree with the "harassing me for my child's disability" language. Use strong words -- in a nice way -- and the appropriate action will be taken. I think they will be required to address it, especially if you issue a record of this in writing.

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 1:16pm
joeybeth's picture
Joined: 09/01/2006 - 09:00

i hope you find better teachers in the future. i have never, ever had a teacher for my two PA girls like the one you have described. i have had some that are better at dealing with the PA issues than others but NONE that were insensitive and hostile about having to take extra precautions for my children. i feel so thankful that we've had mostly positive experiences with all of our school teachers (and other staff members) over the years. my girls are now 11 and 8 and every year i ask next year's potential teachers well in advance who would and who would not be open to taking on the necessary precautions and extra work involved. i think this helps. you theoretically should be able to find any teacher willing to care for your child but i find it's best to check in advance. anyone that doesn't want to take on the job is not someone i would want for my children anyhow. we've had not only cooperation and willingness to learn new things from our teachers but we've also had extreme enthusiasm about it some years - which was very nice. i hope you find good experiences after this year.

Posted on: Thu, 04/12/2007 - 11:58pm
seanmn's picture
Joined: 10/01/2003 - 09:00

Have you informed the principal of her behavior? It makes you wonder how she treats her students???!!

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