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Posted on: Wed, 10/11/2006 - 3:40am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

What? You didn't give them a deadline? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 10/11/2006 - 5:54am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

It sounds like schedules do not mean much anyhow...
what scares me is that these are people she's supposed to trust to teach her children how to tell time using clocks and a calendar.
Since when does "tomorrow," or "next Tuesday afternoon" mean 'ohhhhh, you know' (with a vague wave)?
I'm sorry that they so obviously learned nothing the first time, MB. Maybe you should speak more slowly in meetings-- use simpler words or something... Sometimes this helps me-- I wouldn't be so impatient if they [i]were[/i] truly struggling with a situation's complexities because they have a mental age of 3. And really, how do I know that they don't? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] From some people's actions, it is the only reasonable conclusion.
Hang in there. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 10/11/2006 - 6:02am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Gail W:
[b]What? You didn't give them a deadline? [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
apparently I didn't need to....(give a girl a break [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] it was 2 a.m.! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img] )
Reply received at noon today:
[i]"Hi Mrs. <>,
I have asked that Mrs. XXXXXXX, the school psychologist give you an assessment
schedule. To do a file review, you only need to call the co-op and schedule
an appointment. If you want a copy, they will ask you what you want copied
and may charge you for the copying. You can do the same for <>
permanent file at <>."[/i]
(from the director of "Special Services" whom I cc'd)
[This message has been edited by MommaBear (edited October 11, 2006).]

Posted on: Wed, 10/11/2006 - 6:07am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Quote:Originally posted by Corvallis Mom:
[b]I'm sorry that they so obviously learned nothing the first time, MB. [/b]
C'mon now! [i]have some faith[/i]. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 1:05am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

Mrs. XXXXXXX (school principal):
I spoke with (district director of education services) yesterday regarding the difficult day (son) had. (son) had a "Red" day on his behavior chart. I left a message with the secretary, (name). She took detailed notes to pass to Mrs. (teacher) and you that he had been medicated earlier with cough syrup for bronchitis, which was still lingering since last week.
He had also seen Dr. (pediatrician) for this last week.( If you need the documentation, let me know.) I had also relayed that he should not suffer "punitive" punishment by restricting his recess or worse, making him stand "at the wall" during recess. That he needed his large motor breaks. That we had agreed on these last two points. That if he had any incidents or behavior became a problem during the day, considering the point we are at, I would be called to pick him up immediately.
Nonetheless, I wasn't informed as his day disintegrated, as he "moved to red" on his behavior chart at the very start of the day. I have had poor judgment trusting other adults would, including yourself, follow through on agreements. He was again, punished by being made to stand at the wall during recess for moving to "red" on his behavior chart. This happened yesterday morning. We had agreed (via district special ed services supervisor) (son) would not be punitively punished, especially by having his recess taken away. And especially for things that we suspect are part of a covered disability under IDEA, for which he is currently, but slowly being evaluated. (He is a previous "special education student" with a PDD label.) That it was counterproductive to our cause. That it was inappropriate, most definitely inappropriate, considering that the Social Worker has already suggested incorp orating additional large motor breaks into his day. I'd say, on the district end, it is especially inappropriate, since other staff, namely (social worker), have already used the label "ADD/ADHD" in conversation with me when discussing (son)'s behavior. Even if only for the purposes of potentially filling out a referral sheet, as it was explained to me.
I don't feel that label (ADD/ADHD) is correct, only trying to understand the logic. Or the lack of it.
I have never, despite numerous requests, many in person to you, received a phone call back from Mrs. (teacher) regarding scheduling conflicts and parent teacher conferences. Currently, we are still lacking a rescheduling of that conference.
It is, as I indicated in phone messages last week and the week prior, and over the phone to you, impossible for me to coordinate such through daily messages in a homework planner. The homework planner communication device was intended for brief quips and homework instructions, in an attempt to accurately understand homework needs and his lack of turning in assignments.
As of our phone conversation last week (which you emailed me in a synopsis at my request), you informed me that it could be because I asked Mrs. (teacher) [i]her age.[/i] Apparently, you have had opportunity to touch on this subject with her. It is my belief, that for a teacher, it would be impossible to address (son)'s needs or serve his best interests, if they refused, were reluctant, or merely hesitant to communicate in person, or over the phone with a parent. That if that is the case, there is a conflict of interest, and an inability to serve that child appropriately. Do you agree? If not, please explain...
I find it concerning since (son) is currently undergoing a "full case study" and the ability to communicate between staff, and in particular, his teacher, is paramount. When you are a teacher, you cannot selectively limit your relationship to that child alone, but must indeed, include that child's care-givers. Namely, in this situation, his parents. Particularly if they express concern, and request involvement. Which we have, ad nauseum.
Now, if you, as a supervisor are aware of such a conflict, it is not sufficient that you act as a liaison. Unless it is to re-institute an open and communicative parent/teacher relationship. I believe it is unethical to enable the cessation of person to person communication in such a situation. For it to remain so creates an inequality between (son) and his peers. Do you agree?
My profession prepares me for this discussion, if only to say, that as a licensed professional that deals with numerous persons of many life stages, and specifically with disruptions that my unfortunately occur during them, I am required to address not only the individual, but also the support system they have, providing emotional support to all involved. Can I say, I feel this is sorely lacking by certain members of your staff?
It is an impossibility, for me to maintain an ethical practice, and entreat myself to such delicateness or fragility. In other words, I don't take things personally. It's a luxury those I serve cannot afford. It gets in the way of appropriately meeting their needs in a timely manner. It puts them at risk.
Please note, we agreed (son)'s attendance would continue possibly Monday through Wednesday, and possibly Thursday if his behavior during the day did not continue it's downward trend. Apparently, he is not making it past the morning hours before "moving to red", and we are once again at odds, unable to share a common ground regarding appropriate motivation and correction for his behavior that does not punitively punish him for a potential disability. Namely "Autism".
I have informed you previously and continue to be forthright in suggesting to you the risk/benefit ratio is not in his favor if we are to require his school attendance for the evaluation to proceed. That it is taking an extreme emotional toll on him. That it is harming him. I therefore, am once again, requesting that the evaluation take place outside the classroom setting. It is how my older son was evaluated, and in all regards, seems to be the most appropriate way to address the situation at hand. All things considered.
(son) did tell me he underwent some form of "test"ing in the afternoon, after "moving to red", and after being made to "stand at the wall" during recess. But prior to staying after hours for "tutoring". Seems a long day for an adult, let alone a child who is obviously having difficulty adjusting. I ask you: Is this how you ensure the validity of a test? I'm dumbfounded. And it is disturbing to think that possibly (son)'s day is structured as to engender tantruming.
I am requesting any further communication be via email or more specifically, during a conference at our earliest convenience. To date, the conference meeting regarding a "behavior plan" has not been rescheduled after being canceled on the behalf of the district. Any conference will necessitate the presence of (district sped super) and (co-op sped super) as (son) was under "(co-op district number)" designation in the past. I can be available tomorrow morning, if the opportunity comes to fruition.
I am still awaiting notice that (son)'s cumulative record, complete with annotative detail, is ready and available for review.
With much concern,
Mrs. (moi')
~no advice, just personally. they might play wastepaper basket ball on the desktop....

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 1:09am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

most recent posting sent yesterday morning.....

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 1:40am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

What a bunch of sh*ts. Ugh. How [i]can[/i] these people claim to "love" the children they are supposed to care for??
Your family is most definitely in my thoughts, MommaBear.
Not that I doubt for a moment that you can handle them.... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] But it would be nice if they did the right thing once in a while [i]without that foot up....[/i] Well.
Good luck.

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 1:45am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

I'm sure they're trying to figure out what it is that you want. If they could only understand that you want them to do the right thing that is THIER job to do. Instead, I think they want you to tell them. To make their jobs easier. . .
But this was priceless:
Quote:Originally posted by MommaBear:
[b]As of our phone conversation last week (which you emailed me in a synopsis at my request), you informed me that it could be because I asked Mrs. (teacher) [i]her age.[/i] Apparently, you have had opportunity to touch on this subject with her. [/b]
ROTFL! ! ! ! ! !
OMG MB! You crack me up! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/biggrin.gif[/img]
I guess you [i]could[/i] also point out that you that you never indicated to the teacher that you were 'refusing' her 'services', nor did the teacher ever ask asked for your informed consent to 'refuse services'. LOL!

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 2:02am
Gail W's picture
Joined: 12/06/2001 - 09:00

I apologize for making light in my earlier post above. I understand this is painful and disgusting. Do you think that the principal will see the teacher's action toward your cub as [i]retaliation[/i]? [i]harrassment[/i]? Does acting out of spite, being vindictive, change the seriousness of the situation in your opinion? (It does in mine.)

Posted on: Wed, 10/18/2006 - 2:06am
MommaBear's picture
Joined: 09/23/2002 - 09:00

School Response:
[i]"Dear Mrs. (Moi'),
Thank you for your clarification of your concerns. We are in the process of
setting up a meeting to address these concerns. Please email me back with a few
dates and times that you are available to discuss your concerns (preferably on a
Wednesday when our team in meeting.) As you stated in our conversation this
morning, you would be contacting me within an hour but I have not heard from you
regarding whether or not (Son) would be in school this afternoon for testing
with the speech pathologist. I am assuming that he will not be here for the
testing today. Please remember that if (Son) is going to be out of school, it
is imperative that you call the office to call him in with the reason for which
he will not be in school. Someone will contact you when the meeting is
They only tell me the speech path is going to be in after I limit his attendance. (lol) Like I'd send him after the day they put him through....
I should be thankful they didn't fight with him [i]over what items he could eat first[/i] in his lunch. [b]Again.[/b]
They are not nutritionists. They have no dr.s orders regarding his lunch. [b]I never requested they "monitor" and [i]restrict[/i] his lunch. [/b] Items *I* send for him in his *private* lunch. I can sooooooooooo identify with parents who bristle at the thought of someone rifling through their child's food telling them what they can and cannot eat. Or when they can eat it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img] It has nothing to do with a food allergy in this instance. Just the schools unfounded locus of control.
They say he isn't eating enough at school and maybe *that* is why he is not engaged.... I send *two* snacks, one lunch. They want him to eat his sandwich before his pudding, fruit cups, or chips or raisins for instance. Bigger bozos. (Not sent all for one meal, but in separate meals)
They leave it up to 10 dollar a lunch period housewives (or worse, #######' [i]volunteers[/i]) to handle. I mean, some broad from the neighborhood is hassling my child about his lunch.......no license, no training, no authority, no liability...
[i]They've questioned my ability to feed my family appropriately, and in particular, my child.[/i]
@** *****.
I've got to ask myself: "Who exactly are they expecting a tantrum from?" [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]



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