Husband not taking allergy seriously...

Posted on: Fri, 05/15/2015 - 10:39pm
lspeare's picture
Joined: 05/16/2015 - 05:24

So the conversation as my husband was leaving this am to take our 3 year old with a peanut allergy our for breakfast went something like this:
Him: We don't really need to take her whole bag
Me: No, here take the epi-pen
Him: Oh, we've been to this restaurant a bunch of time I don't think we really need that but oh, ok, I'll take it for your peace of mind.

This is not the first time he's been dismissive of the seriousness of her allergy. She has never had a severe reaction but has skin-tested positive twice. Anybody have any ideas on what to do about this? I'm not only mad, but also a little worried about having him take care of her if he really thinks we don't have to take an epi-pen with us all the time. Before you suggest counseling, we tried that and his reaction was that "you and the Dr. (who's son has a nut allergy) spent 1/2 hour telling me I was wrong"

I should add, he's really a good guy in general.

Posted on: Sat, 05/16/2015 - 2:30pm
g3ryphon's picture
Joined: 04/06/2015 - 11:18

My husband was the same. Then we made chicken tacos in the crock pot one day. I purposely did not add cumin and went to work. While I was gone my husband added cumin to the mix. That night our 1 year old son devoured all the chicken. I didn't know my husband had added the cumin.
Our sons mouth swelled up for a few minutes, his poop changed for the next few days and had a horrible rash. All because of cross contaminated cumin, which has now been thrown away. My husband is now 1000x more careful and if he ever questions anything, he texts our calls me right away.
It sucks that it took our son having a mild reaction to wake him up. I truly hope it doesn't happen that way for you. I should add we keep his auvi-q's at home, at my mom's house and two in his diaper bag. We took him to the park one and a little girl offered him nutella. He is only 16 months, I can't teach him to say no yet op this. This is why we take his meds with us everywhere.

Posted on: Tue, 05/19/2015 - 4:30pm
J and C Mommy's picture
Joined: 06/04/2010 - 13:26

My husband seems to be a slow-understander on this point. My Mr. 7 year old was diagnosed at 2 years old. Over the first two years we both struggled with the adjustment. I was just beginning my education of life with anaphylactic food allergies. Our allergist told us to make our home allergen free. But at that time my husband was still eating peanut butter and peanut containing snacks at home. He was in some kind of denial. He thought the doctors were making up this food allergy to make money. He felt depriving our son of the foods he is allergic too was going to be a sad existence. Psychological was higher on his list when compared to the seriousness of our child's allergies. I went to 3 food allergy walk events without my husbands support. We have been dealing with this for 5 years now and the learning curve is very tediously slow with him. He still refuses to bring the Auvi Q with him when he takes my son out. My in-laws are not understanding either. They just tried to get my son to eat one of his allergens a couple weeks ago. And they wonder why I don't allow them to spend time with my son without me being there. After a few trips to the emergency room, multiple allergist appts, and too many near-misses with my son's allergies I just made a decision. I had it with being nice and letting things go. I have made it my mission to keep my son from having another anaphylactic reaction. I have eliminated all of his allergens from our house. Sure my inlaws still give us foods my son is allergic too a few times a month. I have a big trash can outside for that. My son is my focus. Hopefully your husband is more understanding by the time your little one gets into school. Mine is still struggling to understand why I insist on all the precautions I do. But we are food allergy moms. We have to be tough and insistent to protect our children above all. You are not alone with this.

Posted on: Fri, 05/22/2015 - 8:22am
2crazyboys's picture
Joined: 04/16/2015 - 15:15

My son was diagnosed at 17 months. He is now almost 6. I still have to remind my husband to take the epipen if he's taking him somewhere alone, and then he inevitably leaves it in his truck to freeze or get too hot. I don't know what the answer is, but you are not alone.

Posted on: Fri, 06/05/2015 - 3:20am
shanlyn's picture
Joined: 06/05/2015 - 08:07

we've suspected the peanut allergy for about 2 months now and finally got confirmation through bloodwork.
While waiting for results, my husband went to the store to get us movie night snacks and what does he come back with?? Snickers and reese's!
It's going to be a huge adjustment in our home as we all LOVED peanuts.
I hope he realizes just how serious it can be.

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