so NO ONE allows baked goods/cupcakes/birthday cakes???ever ever at a party/school?

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:05am
My2girls's picture
Joined: 04/12/2007 - 09:00

so no one here ever allows their child to eat cupcakes/cake at a birthday party-school? do you KNOW of anyone who allows this?????? surely there must be some, no?

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:11am
MommyMegan's picture
Joined: 12/07/2005 - 09:00

None from the bakery. No way. X-Cont. all over them. Betty Crocker for me, only. [img][/img]

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:16am
niche's picture
Joined: 02/05/2007 - 09:00

I just replied to one of your other posts and no I don't. within a month of being diagnosed my son had a reaction to bakery bread. no nuts on the label - clearly cross contamination. I bake for DS and bring one with us. If it is another PA or TNA mom who baked it herself I have allowed it. Sometimes I will call ahead and try and find out what exactly they are having so I can bake something similar. and I have started freezing some per tips here. It really isn't worth the risk for us.
DD 10 mos ???

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:25am
McCobbre's picture
Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

You know, I think at the early stages, it's really best to go with BYOC.
I will tell you that this is an area I fudge on a bit, but I'm so incredibly hesitant to mention that, because your emotional/mental state about this is coming through so clearly.
You really have to set your own boundaries. Sure, part of that may come from finding out what others do. Perhaps you should spend some time searching around.
That said, this is our approach. At school functions, DS does not eat anything that is not brought by us. Nada. There have been two school years where I have trusted the room mom, and he has. One room mom had FAs, carried an epi, dealt with cross contamination herself. The other, I was just being stupid, but she honestly didn't have PB in the house and didn't use nuts very often. I work long hours (I'm home today), and it is tough when you do. It just is, and and I'm not trying to start anything, but moms who work outside the home have many different considerations with regard to FA than moms who can stay home. It's just a fact. So there have probably been more fudge areas that I have been comfortable with because I haven't had as much time to investigate, be at school, etc.
Okay--birthday functions outside of school: In my small town, I am familiar with the grocery store bakeries. I have talked with them alot. I know how their cakes come in (frozen). I have looked at their giant frosting containers and read those labels. I have talked with the managers at those bakeries about their procedures. If a birthday cake comes from one of those three places, but not another one, and I or DH is at the party, we typically let DS have a piece. If it doesn't, we tell DS--you can have a McD's ice cream on the way home as a special treat. Oh--and ice cream. DS does not have ice cream at parties unless it is the individual serving from one creamery we trust.
A couple of DS' cakes have come from these three bakeries (DH usually makes DS' cakes, but two years we bought the cake, and DH decorated that because of time constraints).
There have been plenty of parties we've gone to when we've told DS that we aren't comfortable with the cake situation because it didn't come from one of the three or because we couldn't determine which bakery it came from (it might have been one of the three, but we don't know).
It's too bad, but life isn't always fair. And we try to make it up in other ways.
There is this cupcake holder, the Cup-a-cake holder. You can buy it at The Container Store and elsewhere. There's a thread on it in the products board.
Really, this is not as huge a deal as it seems to be.

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:26am
saknjmom's picture
Joined: 04/02/2003 - 09:00

The only time I've allowed it is with a select few friends who GET IT. I've been called by so many moms who want to include my son and say I'll scrub everything etc. I just don't think it's worth it. I always thank them a million times, say thanks for letting me know there is a treat being brought in and that I'll provide something since it is "school policy" that DS eats only food brought from home.
I just don't think a stinking cupcake is worth my child having a reaction and possibly dying....

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:27am
McCobbre's picture
Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

I would add that the birthday cake is the ONLY thing that I will get from a bakery. The only thing. And only from one of those three. I won't get anything from a freestanding bakery.

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:36am
qdebbie1's picture
Joined: 02/10/2005 - 09:00

I have pretty much the same ideas as McCobbre. I imagine they too do not have tree nut allergies to worry about. I have interrigated the grocery stores to death and allow a certain few. At school, its none. Myself and another pa parent take turns making giant cupcakes for our pa kids at school. If the kids have to have different, cupcakes then it will be different and oh so much better(ha).
I would never eat any of the free standing or any cookies from a bakery. We do get krispie creme doughnuts if the store has them.
Read rinse and repeat. Learn all you can and then find your own way. [img][/img]

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:46am
Going Nuts's picture
Joined: 10/04/2001 - 09:00

There were only two parents who I trusted, who I knew totally got it.
For all other celebrations, I kept a "safe stash" of non-perishable treats in the classroom for these occasions. When he was still in preschool, I kept cupcakes in the freezer. He was always OK with it.

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:47am
anonymous's picture
Joined: 05/28/2009 - 16:42

If something is bought at a store, I'm comfortable with checking the label and proceeding appropriately -- IF the mother isn't putting it on her own serving tray. In other words, if a box is sent to school, I'm OK with that (my child's in preschool, so the teachers have me check the label at dropoff). I also keep a safe snack at school in case there are any surprises. My child is happy to know that his fav. popsicle sits in the freezer in case he can't have what everyone else is having.
I do not allow baked goods from anyone's home except for a couple of people. My aunt bought a new cookie sheet that she uses only for my child's cookies, and she uses Cherrybrook Kitchen mix or something else I approve. Cookie sheet is washed with a new sponge, and it's stored in a cabinet that contains only stuff for my child (a couple of pots and other things like that).

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 12:59am
jami's picture
Joined: 09/02/2004 - 09:00

In response to this question.
My sons- do not eat food from anyone --except--Mom-Dad, Grandma's, 2 Aunts, and 2 friend's Moms-- We have been dealing with this for 7 years. Until year 5--they only ate food previously supplied by Mom-Dad (which really means Mom--LOL).
My oldest son - has always been extremly vigilant and careful about following our rules--my younger son (who didn't test positive for food allergies until he was 3) Still had the rules all of his life--but his personality is sooooo different--luckily--everyone else knows the rules--to help him.
Grandma's and Aunts have been trained from day one--ask lots of questions--and will still call/check with me. My 2 friends--who also have kids the same ages as mine--have been there from day one--and have always asked lots of questions and have proved to be wonderful. One of them eventually ended up with a child who is PA (another one is soy) The other parent has a son who used to tell people he was allergic to nuts--because his friend was--and he still refuses peanut butter ect...
I needed for other people to eventually understand--because it takes a village--but as I said--the first 5 years-my older son only ate food provided by MOM--and yes I hate to cook/bake--but--I figured this was God's way of forcing me to learn--I still hate it-- years later--But- it is easier than figuring out what is safe.
As far as the emotions-you will get there- and then something will surprise you and send you into tears again--I try to think of it as a reality check-yes it can be hard at times--but I still have my children--so even if I am over the edge--or a differnt "comfort zone" than someone else (really it isn't as strict as some people) --I must be doing it right--for my child! You will get there--I promise!
Michelle mom to:
DS #1- 7 - peanut, tree nut, asthma,environmental allergies
DS-#2- 4- Milk, Peas, Peanuts, Tree nuts, Asthma, environmental allergies

Posted on: Fri, 05/04/2007 - 1:05am
Corvallis Mom's picture
Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

My perspective is probably different than that of parents who are dealing only with PA... in that there is [i]no way[/i] a bakery item can be okay for my severely egg allergic child.
But here is [i]ANOTHER[/i] reason [b]not[/b] to allow this. For now.
This goes toward [i]teaching [b]your child[/b] good management skills.[/i] Before you decide to allow something or not, ask yourself if that decision [i]makes sense[/i] to your almost 4 yo. If it will seem arbitrary, then [i]don't do it.[/i] The reason is that she may well decide that there isn't a firm rule about what is safe and what isn't.....leading to some VERY unwelcome surprises for you when she's 6-8 years old and decides [i]ON HER OWN[/i] that something is 'probably okay.'
Save yourself the stress down the road by making the rules [i]crystal clear[/i] for her, and for you, and for everyone else in your lives. [img][/img]



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