Siblings of (PA) children

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I thought this would help the children and parents.

Let me start by saying that my soon to be 9 year old dd has [b]no[/b]peanut allergy. Twins soon to be 6 years old,one with (PA)Little V,and Little A (no PA).

Nine year old has seen Little V (both times)with reactions. One of the reactions was from 9 year old kissing Little V on the cheek after eating a pbj at lunch time (oh about 3 -4 hours early so 9 year old remembers this.Little A does not remember Little V's reactions. When we started this journey 9 year old would not eat these products.She allways said she did not want to hurt her sister and she wanted to hug Little V upon arrival home from school, she did not want to brush her teeth.LOL

My nine year old has said to me that she is tired of not eating peanut.I have told her she can as long has she follows the rules.

Tell me when she has eaten them,and comes inside and changes her clothes and wash hands and face and brush her teeth.

So the other day she comes home and tells me she has eaten almonds at school (in a dessert!)I tell her to go clean up,not a problem she does.Nine year old is the motherly type(God help the twins!)LOL

I guess my ? is does any other parents have this issue with the siblings of the PA child? or somthing close to this?

Would love to hear from everyone and how they are handling this.

------------------ Love this site Synthia

On Feb 28, 2005

Sure do...

Not for peanuts though, as we are a peanut free house.

Sara/Meghan eat whatever they want, dirnk waht they want.. Meghans out of the picture, being 2...

Sara knows if she eats mac/chz, has a glass of milk/cows milk yogurt, etc.. to go wash up a bit after eating/drinking.

Never an issue, really, as she doesnt touch Caitlin until shes washed up.


Jason Caitlin 4-17-00 Allergic to Dairy, Egg, Wheat, Bananas, Grapes, Rye, Sesame, Beef, Garlic, Mustard, Onion, Peas and Avoiding Latex and all Nuts Sara 2-13-98 NKA (Avoiding Nuts) Meghan 2-28-03 NKA (Avoiding Nuts) [url=""][/url]

------------------ [b]* ENRICHED * [/b]

On Feb 28, 2005

We also live in a Peanut free zone....but my oldr son (6) who is NOT PA, can eat things w/ nuts outside of the house. When he returns, he must wash hands, face, brush teeth, and depending on what he ate, maybe change clothes.

This doesn't happen too regularly, as he also hates the idea of "extra" brushing. LOL

I am not sure if I need to be this vigilant, but it give me some comfort.

On Feb 28, 2005

Sounds alot like what we do. My 5 year old twins (neither PA) are not encouraged to eat nut products, but are not punished either. The will tell us if they are served a snack at school with nuts, and know they will have to change, brush their teeth, etc. Only one of them will "indulge", the other usually says she just didn't eat it. She is the more "motherly" of the two, so maybe she thinks about Rose more, or just doesn't want to be bothered to wash up. Both girls are very good about not eating food out that may not be safe for Rose when she is around, even at parties with trays of bakery cookies, etc. They understand it is not nice to eat things in front of Rose that she can't eat. So far we've had not problems with confiscating 90% of the candy they get at Halloween and various school functions either. DD just had hives once, so their willingness to help is not based on seeing her sick. I guess we've been lucky with them, or maybe 5 year olds are just more flexible than we give them credit for.

------------------ Lori Jo,

Rose, 7-31-02, PA Beatrice & Georgia, 8-14-99

On Feb 28, 2005

My older daughter (12 y.o.) is not allergic to peanuts. We don't have peanut foods at home, but she is allowed to have them away from home whenever she wants. After she eats food with peanuts she should wash her hands. We don't do the toothbrushing or changing clothes--not necessary at their age.

On Mar 1, 2005

Never had a this problem at all. You have to think about it though. For me Chris was #1 child and therefore the other 2 have never even been served PB in our home or elsewhere. they don't know the other side of ever enjoying PB. Best of luck to you CLaire

On Mar 1, 2005

I allow my older kids (ages 9, 7 and 5) to have peanut butter candy (Reeses, Snickers) when they are away from my toddler for the day. They wash their hands immediately and brush their teeth when they get back home. My 5 year old has to change his shirt.

My older kids will not eat any "may contains" etc around my toddler. They're too concerned about her. I have offered to buy the older kids muffins when we're in public, but they're too worried about cross contamination issues.

Sometimes, I think my 9 year old has an even tighter comfort zone than I do! LOL


On Mar 1, 2005

Not exactly a sibling issue for me - but my kids.

When I first developed my allergies, one of my kids was a major pb fanatic. At first we allowed him to continue eating it, but he just wasn't careful enough. While his carelessness never actually caused me a reaction, we decided to ban it from our home before it did.

He was allowed to eat pb at his friends house and at school. (There were no peanut allergies in the school at the time - I worked as a lunch room supervisor and I would have been informed.) He had to wash up when he got home, just in case.

My youngest was born after I developed allergies. He has tried pb. It makes him gag and puke. He did go through a short period of saying he wanted to eat peanuts or peanutbutter. I'm really not comfortable with it, because I fear an undiagnosed pa. DH and I disagreed on this. But, recently when someone mentioned wanting to give ds some pb - my husband freaked out. Not sure what's going on in his head right now.

Anyway, most recently my little guy gets mad at the tv commercials. He thinks ALL companies should stop using peanuts and peanutbutter in their food. I think it was a commercial for smarties, which he knows has always been safe for me, and he went bonkers over the fact that they now have a pb version. He now tells me whenever he sees commercial for things with pb - or a commercial that actually says *peanut free* (like the Chapman's commercials).

For some reason sesame seeds is different though. He is absolutely thrilled to bits when he can eat a bun with sesame seeds on it. Somehow, he doesn't see it as the enemy.

On Mar 1, 2005

Hi Synthia:

We handle things much like you do. My son w/PA has 2 siblings that are the same age. When they were little (preschool), no one was allowed any peanut products. I did let the 2 non-allergic eat may-contain if they were visiting somewhere, etc.

When they were in kindergarten, we expanded our comfort zone and I allowed them to eat peanut products (and or keep peanut products if they were given, Halloween). We followed a strict washing up routine if any were consumed. (Much like you described).

In our case this arrangement works well. We have never had a problem w/regards to a reaction, and my son w/PA has learned what steps need to be taken if someone is eating peanuts around him.


On Mar 2, 2005

Our home is peanut-free and non-allergic sibs avoid peanut when out.

PA DD's 5-year-old brother had to make a peanut man craft in kindergarten...something about George Washington Carver (not one of our heroes). He told us and his teacher it was Soy Nut Man!

On Mar 2, 2005

We have a peanut free home. DH, older son, and I will sometimes eats peanut products away from home when DS/PA isn't with us. Then we wash up and scrub teeth and don't kiss him for several hours.

On Mar 2, 2005

Our house is pn/tn free also. One of my 5yr twins is pa the other isn't. I've told them in order to be safe no nut products in the house. And also out of consideration, I've explained it wouldn't be polite to eat a snack in front of him that they knew he could not have. Sometimes when I take just my daughter out (not pa) we indulge in snacks we can't have at home or a sundae at friendly's. It has bonded us more having our "special treats" together.

On Mar 2, 2005

Thanks everyone!!!

------------------ Love this site Synthia

On Mar 2, 2005

Wow, I never realized that I had such a strict comfort zone till now! Our home is totally peanut free and the three children (ages 11, 8 and 6) who are not allergic are not allowed to eat peanut products elsewhere either, but are allowed all the "may contains" they want away from home.

If the 11 and 6 year olds are going to be away from thier pa brother for more than 6 hours I may occasionally allow something pn, but this is maybe a once a year or less thing. (The reason the 8 year old is never allowed anything with peanuts is because she has just recently outgrown an allergy to them and I don't feel comfortable with her eating them.) My dh got onto me a little bit last night saying that I still treat her like she is allergic, but its hard to change mid-stream when you've always had to be so careful.

I guess the reason that I am so strict is because my son has had several contact reactions... two of them anaphalactic requiring epi pen jr and ER visit.


On Mar 2, 2005

Joey is allowed to eat whatever he wants when Jason is not around. He is expected to wash up afterwards, and not share drinks with Jason afterwards. Joey's at that stage where kissing is "yuck" so that's not a concern.

We're keeping Allison off nuts until age 5... she's also milk allergic.

On Sep 28, 2007

My middle child non-pa son was given the spt when he was three which turned out to be negative. My son is allowed to eat may contains and or occasionally a peanut product if his sister is not with us and he washes face/hands, brushes teeth etc when he gets home. Our home has no peanuts and/or may contain products.

On Sep 28, 2007

I let my non PA son eat peanut butter when he is not in the presenc of my PA daughter. I really struggled with letting him eat it at school (where they serve it every day) because I never want DD to be afraid that DS might be dangerous to her. In the end, we decided that DS could eat peanut butter at school....he went crazy the first 2 weeks, but now I don't think he can remember the last time he had PB at school.

On Sep 29, 2007

You know this is a touchy subject on here... LOL just to warn you!

In just the almost 4 months that we have been doing this our rules have changed. We had been still allowing our 5 year old non PA child to eat pb under specific rules in our home. This was ultimately just too stressful for us though.

Now, we have gotten rid of everything that is unsafe for our PA son in our home.

Our non PA son is allowed to eat as he pleases outside of our home when our PA son is not around. As others have said, he brushes his teeth and washes his hands as soon as he walks in the door. He does this anyway when he gets home from school (washes hands) even if he hasn't eaten anything just in case he has come in contact with anything that he didn't know about. We actually all do this to keep germs and PN out of our home.

I look at it this way... it is our responsibility to keep both of our children safe and happy. Safety come first of course. Our home is a place where our PA son knows that everything is safe and he doesn't need to worry. Our 5 year old has given up his almost daily dose of PB&J, and all the other nutty goodness that we used to eat for the better of his brother. I won't tell him that when his brother isn't around he can't have something. That can cause sibling rivalry and bad feelings. He usually does pass that sort of stuff up regardless, but he does indulge at times. I do too... I had a snack size snickers the other day when I was out of the house and away from my family. I washed my hands immediately after, again when I came home, brushed my teeth, and didn't kiss my son for 2 days.

This is another one of those comfort zone things that each person needs to decide for their own family.

On Oct 29, 2007