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Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:55am
3xy1PAinNH's picture
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Joined: 08/07/2006 - 09:00

Phew! just saw that you found it! I meant to also post about how torn up I would be about all that personal info being out there...AND the worries of some small child finding them and 'playing' with them! You must be so relieved!!!!!!!!
[This message has been edited by 3xy1PAinNH (edited September 10, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:59am
McCobbre's picture
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Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

I know what it's like to have a very gifted child. We expect so much of them. Your DD is far beyond her age in so many areas.
But I've gotta say it . . . I think this should be expected at age 7.
DS lost his school epibag twice last year (it was left in his specials classroom). And the first day of school this year he left it in another classroom.
We are terrified that this behavior will result in his (very necessary) privelege of having it with him at all times revoked.
It should be passed to the teacher once he arrives in class, but this sometimes doesn't happen apparently.
Stern talking to--yes. Trying to get him to understand the possible consequences--yes.
But he's 8. And a bit of an absentminded professor at times.
How wonderful your DD's epipen bag wasn't found by a child. Or her identity stolen.
But I would ease up a bit. I bet she won't misplace it again anytime soon.
[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited September 10, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 12:19pm
LisaM's picture
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Joined: 11/04/2005 - 09:00

I can see how this would be very frustrating---but as someone who tends to be forgetful and absentminded, I can sympathize with your daughter. Since it is the first time she left her epipens behind, I'd say she has shown quite a lot of maturity for her age, and I agree with you--she is responsible enough to carry the epipens herself.
Glad that it all ended happily!

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 12:58pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Corvallis Mom, your second post made me laugh. I'm glad to hear you got everything back.
3xy1PAinNH, my son has been responsible for carrying his epi-pen since he was 3. Even when he is with me or his dad, he wears it on his belt. There have been occasions when we forget -- and he remembers. He also knows how to administer an epi-pen (although I do NOT expect him to self-administer). We made a game of it and he learned how to give me an epi-pen, himself an epi-pen, and Elmo an epi-pen. (Who knew? Elmo has allergies to, at least the one in our home does. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 2:08pm
KS mom's picture
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Joined: 03/02/2006 - 09:00

I hear ya! My dd, now 11.5, has been carrying her epis since around age 3. A couple of times (both in the past 4 years) dd has left her epi kit somewhere. Once on the bus and another time in a restaurant. I really made a big deal about it to impress upon her the gravity of the situation. I told her that she could forget her coat, her shoes, her schoolbag....anything and I wouldn't care. But if you forget the epi it is very serious.
I found out that she wasn't comfortable with the waist pouch ("It makes me look fat" and this from a kid who is on the low end for weight for her age) so she would take it off. We found a cute little purse that she can wear over her shoulder and it sits on her opposite hip and it is much better. She loves it so she doesn't take it off.
I'm glad you got it back in the end. What a relief, I'm sure!

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 3:27pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Ahhhhh.... my backside may not be the same, but we are finally back. WITH the epipens.
She seems suitably chastened now-- the earlier attitude vanished in the face of understanding that this cost about five hours in the car and about 40 buck of gas. (yowza)
Thanks everyone! (I know we do expect a lot, but I so dearly want her to feel naked without those epipens!) That way this won't ever happen when she's 17. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] We hope.
Her punishment is that she may not go anywhere without DH or I being able to physically [i]see[/i] her for a month. Not even to her neighborhood haunts. Not until we can trust her to be responsible enough to [i]not take them off.[/i] The old rule got laid down again-- she can only take them off to [i]hand them to one of us or hang them on the coat closet doorknob (where they stay at home).[/i] We're also instituting a check system in the car-- we ask before releasing the emergency brake from now on! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited September 11, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 3:46pm
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Wow that's a big punishment. I think 7 is young to really grasp the situation. Kids lose stuff every single day but unfortunately our kids have responsibility for SO MUCH MORE than the kid who loses something trivial.
At 7 they are socializing with friends and doing other stuff at the same time and it is easy to forget to pick up that Tinkerbell bag. Which might be better if it were attached to her body in some way, belt loop etc.
I know you gotta do what you gotta do but maybe I'd rather find a better way for her to carry her epis. You seem to be the ones to let the rules relax when in fact they should be stricter as she gets older.
Poor kid, poor us. Darned if you do darned if you don't.
Good luck.
Peg

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 4:18pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Yes- I should clarify a couple of things, I can see. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
She wears (and has always done so) a bag messenger-style, over one shoulder so that it is hands-free and can't come off unless she deliberately removes it. It is a small bag that she chooses so that it is comfortable to wear and has a strap short enough that it doesn't get in her way.
Yes- I forgot to look for the bag when we got back into the car. I didn't realize that she had taken them off in the restroom because there was no reason for her to (really).
She really prefers to be the one who handles them-- truly. And we want them to be on her as well-- that way we don't ever miscommunicate about which parent has them, etc.
We also feel very strongly that we want her to feel a bit panicky without them. That instinct is one of fundamental self-preservation-- her life is in that bag, more or less. (JMO)
Our system failed us for a couple of reasons-- she failed to follow the rule about not taking them off. We failed to check to see that they were in the car. Both serious. I think she deserves punishment for breaking one of the biggest rules in her life (which she has done on a few occasions recently-- this was just the first time it had such consequences...).
So her one month punishment means that she can't go next door to play with our next-door neighbor's little boy or down the street to play with the two older children she knows. She can't grab her epipens and just go, in other words. She has to play where we can see her until she earns our trust back. (So it isn't exactly like being "grounded.") We also talked to her about the possibility for harm to a child who accidentally injects themselves into a hand. This seemed to matter a great deal to her-- one of her friends is a 3yo neighbor.
What I couldn't quite fathom is why the notion of harm to [i]her[/i] didn't seem to faze her much during this.... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/confused.gif[/img]
Anyway-- would I treat the average 7yo this way? No way. My daughter? Absolutely. She's a fourth grader who intends to finish fifth grade by June. She is super-responsible about her allergy (and everything else, for that matter) and has a self-awareness that frequently makes [i]everyone[/i] around her forget that she is 7. (Soooo, not typical.) We don't expect her to be older than 7, but we do expect her to be [i]herself[/i] if that makes sense. (sigh) It probably doesn't without knowing her...
But I think McCobbre's point is well-taken. It is very easy to wonder how she could have been so foolish, but in the context of being 7, good judgement isn't all it appears to be at 40. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img]
Just clarifying so that nobody thinks I might really be an ogre...

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 4:39pm
gvmom's picture
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Joined: 08/24/2005 - 09:00

[b]Yes- I forgot to look for the bag when we got back into the car. I didn't realize that she had taken them off in the restroom because there was no reason for her to (really).[/b]
Couldn't you call it a 'wash' then? She did something that she wasn't supposed to -- but you also forgot part of your bargain. As grown up as she may be, she is still a 7 year old little girl. For some strange reason -- I would say it was her being 7 -- she took off her bag. Why? Who knows -- little kids do all sorts of things for odd reasons. You acknowledge that you forgot to check. If you forgot something -- because, you are her parent and bear some responsibility -- what is your punishment?
Isn't there a way for a lesson to be learned, without it being unfair? Both of her parents were with her -- yet you expect her to hold the entire burden for the loss.
Couldn't all of you talk about what happened, and go over the mistakes that all of you made? You could talk about what the rules are for her wearing her bag, what you expect of her, and also what she should be able to expect from you, as parents. She has a responsibility to herself -- yes -- but at 7, something like this, in my opinion, doesn't rest the bulk of the responsibility on her.
BTW, if you were able to look through the screen at me, I'm not saying this with a wagging finger at you -- my tone is truly coming from me thinking about how upset my own son would be (he will be 7 in 1 month). As mature as he is about some things - this boy who brought me a drawing the other day of a strand of DNA - I couldn't not check,and double check, if he were to carry his Epi-pens. I wouldn't want him to feel as though that weight rested all on him, because I would feel equally responsible.

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 9:25pm
luvmyboys's picture
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Joined: 05/25/2006 - 09:00

One thing I've learned being a mom...every child is different and every family's situation is unique. I can't fathom a mature 7 year old because I don't have one...I have a somewhat immature just turned 6 year old.
I have yet to let him go anywhere out of my sight (or his father's or grandmother's). Nonetheless I find he is more responsible about making sure his epi is on his body after 3 weeks of practice than his dad is!
It's amazing how our kids rise to the occasion and take on more than anyone else would have thought possible, isn't it?
Luvmyboys

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