She LOST her epipen bag!!!!

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:31am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Aghhhhhhhh!!!! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]

Unrepentent DD set her epipens down at a beach restroom and walked away (into our car) without them... over an hour later (at home) we discovered their loss.

DH immediately drove another hour back (though I told him not to bother...) to search for them but found no trace. Nothing in garbage cans, nothing. My husband ransacked a park ladies' room and every diaper-filled trashcan in the park. (sigh) [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/frown.gif[/img]

I am absolutely enraged at my daughter's irresponsibility right now. Not only does she not seem to care about the fact that hundreds of dollars worth of medications must be replaced, but now also all her insurance information, etc....

We have ONE spare epipen at home right now (the one I usually carry in my purse) but given her Hx, we really, and I mean [i]really[/i] shouldn't be without two or more.

I am trying to recall if enough personal information was in her bag to worry about identity theft... and worrying about whether we'll get sued if someone accidentally injects themselves in a hand.

And worst of all-- how do I convince DH that she [i]still[/i] really really needs to be carrying them herself??? He is in a mood to "lay down the law" about her being too young. Nevermind that she's 7 and has been carrying them for almost five years-- with this being the first actual loss.

Arrrggghhhhh.

And then there's my frustration because we have a laminated card inside that bag that clearly states our phone numbers, that the contents can be dangerous if misused, and that a child could DIE without what's in it. Not that this evidently matters to my delightful fellow (wo)man. It has been about four hours now with not a word. And we have FOUR phone numbers on that card. FOUR.

So now I get to spend tomorrow replacing everything in the bag- inhaler, epipens, all the phone-time to replace insurance information.... loverly.

I could quite cheerfully throttle her right now. I just want her to "get" why this may just be the single worst thing that she has ever done....particularly if a young child finds that bag. I just can't imagine that an adult wouldn't have either searched it and tossed the contents or called...

Well, thanks for letting me vent my anger and panic.

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:50am
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

... [i]and as she hit "submit", her cell phone rang![/i]
(And it wasn't the angry DH... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )
It was the ranger's station at the State Park!!!!
Evidently the cleaning crew went through the restrooms about ten minutes before DH's whirlwind tour of the park garbage facilities... finding DD's black satin Tinkerbell bag (with the star-of-life pin)
and returned it to the state park tollbooth a few miles up Hwy 101.
Can you say "Three trips to Newport in one day?" (sigh).... but I am just so relieved that some little child didn't find them. Whew!!!
I think DH intends to ride over with us... the better to lecture DD where she can't get away, I think. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:51am
3xy1PAinNH's picture
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Joined: 08/07/2006 - 09:00

Ugh, how disappointing that she lost it!
There must be a typo in your post...it indicates she is seven and has been carrying her epi's for 5 years, which would mean since she was 2??? Did I read that correctly? Or do you you mean 17 and she has been carrying them since she was 12?
I have a 2 year old, 4 year old and 9 year old, and I could not imagine ANY of them having the responsibility for carrying an epi. My nine year old is close..and he is very cautious...but personally, it would be unrealistic for me to think any of my children should be responsible for something like that at their current ages!
You must mean 17, b/c it sounds like she left it in a public rest room while in there without you?
I would say if she is 17, then she does need to be spoken to about being more responsible,and I would make her pay for some of the replacement cost.
If she is 7, then I think perhaps your expectations are high for her age....just my opinion.
Also, I had my ped right the prescription so I could get a couple filled at once, one for school and one for home...then a couple of months later I had it refilled again,then a couple of months later again...so I right now have 8 kicking around. 4 packages of 2 in various stages of experation (four in the house, four in the diaper bag/purse)...plus two brand new ones at ds's school.
Fortunately my insurance covers all but a small percentage of the cost.

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:55am
3xy1PAinNH's picture
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Joined: 08/07/2006 - 09:00

Phew! just saw that you found it! I meant to also post about how torn up I would be about all that personal info being out there...AND the worries of some small child finding them and 'playing' with them! You must be so relieved!!!!!!!!
[This message has been edited by 3xy1PAinNH (edited September 10, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 11:59am
McCobbre's picture
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Joined: 04/16/2005 - 09:00

I know what it's like to have a very gifted child. We expect so much of them. Your DD is far beyond her age in so many areas.
But I've gotta say it . . . I think this should be expected at age 7.
DS lost his school epibag twice last year (it was left in his specials classroom). And the first day of school this year he left it in another classroom.
We are terrified that this behavior will result in his (very necessary) privelege of having it with him at all times revoked.
It should be passed to the teacher once he arrives in class, but this sometimes doesn't happen apparently.
Stern talking to--yes. Trying to get him to understand the possible consequences--yes.
But he's 8. And a bit of an absentminded professor at times.
How wonderful your DD's epipen bag wasn't found by a child. Or her identity stolen.
But I would ease up a bit. I bet she won't misplace it again anytime soon.
[This message has been edited by McCobbre (edited September 10, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 12:19pm
LisaM's picture
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Joined: 11/04/2005 - 09:00

I can see how this would be very frustrating---but as someone who tends to be forgetful and absentminded, I can sympathize with your daughter. Since it is the first time she left her epipens behind, I'd say she has shown quite a lot of maturity for her age, and I agree with you--she is responsible enough to carry the epipens herself.
Glad that it all ended happily!

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 12:58pm
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Corvallis Mom, your second post made me laugh. I'm glad to hear you got everything back.
3xy1PAinNH, my son has been responsible for carrying his epi-pen since he was 3. Even when he is with me or his dad, he wears it on his belt. There have been occasions when we forget -- and he remembers. He also knows how to administer an epi-pen (although I do NOT expect him to self-administer). We made a game of it and he learned how to give me an epi-pen, himself an epi-pen, and Elmo an epi-pen. (Who knew? Elmo has allergies to, at least the one in our home does. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] )

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 2:08pm
KS mom's picture
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Joined: 03/02/2006 - 09:00

I hear ya! My dd, now 11.5, has been carrying her epis since around age 3. A couple of times (both in the past 4 years) dd has left her epi kit somewhere. Once on the bus and another time in a restaurant. I really made a big deal about it to impress upon her the gravity of the situation. I told her that she could forget her coat, her shoes, her schoolbag....anything and I wouldn't care. But if you forget the epi it is very serious.
I found out that she wasn't comfortable with the waist pouch ("It makes me look fat" and this from a kid who is on the low end for weight for her age) so she would take it off. We found a cute little purse that she can wear over her shoulder and it sits on her opposite hip and it is much better. She loves it so she doesn't take it off.
I'm glad you got it back in the end. What a relief, I'm sure!

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 3:27pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Ahhhhh.... my backside may not be the same, but we are finally back. WITH the epipens.
She seems suitably chastened now-- the earlier attitude vanished in the face of understanding that this cost about five hours in the car and about 40 buck of gas. (yowza)
Thanks everyone! (I know we do expect a lot, but I so dearly want her to feel naked without those epipens!) That way this won't ever happen when she's 17. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img] We hope.
Her punishment is that she may not go anywhere without DH or I being able to physically [i]see[/i] her for a month. Not even to her neighborhood haunts. Not until we can trust her to be responsible enough to [i]not take them off.[/i] The old rule got laid down again-- she can only take them off to [i]hand them to one of us or hang them on the coat closet doorknob (where they stay at home).[/i] We're also instituting a check system in the car-- we ask before releasing the emergency brake from now on! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/wink.gif[/img]
[This message has been edited by Corvallis Mom (edited September 11, 2006).]

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 3:46pm
Peg541's picture
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Joined: 12/29/2002 - 09:00

Wow that's a big punishment. I think 7 is young to really grasp the situation. Kids lose stuff every single day but unfortunately our kids have responsibility for SO MUCH MORE than the kid who loses something trivial.
At 7 they are socializing with friends and doing other stuff at the same time and it is easy to forget to pick up that Tinkerbell bag. Which might be better if it were attached to her body in some way, belt loop etc.
I know you gotta do what you gotta do but maybe I'd rather find a better way for her to carry her epis. You seem to be the ones to let the rules relax when in fact they should be stricter as she gets older.
Poor kid, poor us. Darned if you do darned if you don't.
Good luck.
Peg

Posted on: Sun, 09/10/2006 - 4:18pm
Corvallis Mom's picture
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Joined: 05/22/2001 - 09:00

Yes- I should clarify a couple of things, I can see. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
She wears (and has always done so) a bag messenger-style, over one shoulder so that it is hands-free and can't come off unless she deliberately removes it. It is a small bag that she chooses so that it is comfortable to wear and has a strap short enough that it doesn't get in her way.
Yes- I forgot to look for the bag when we got back into the car. I didn't realize that she had taken them off in the restroom because there was no reason for her to (really).
She really prefers to be the one who handles them-- truly. And we want them to be on her as well-- that way we don't ever miscommunicate about which parent has them, etc.
We also feel very strongly that we want her to feel a bit panicky without them. That instinct is one of fundamental self-preservation-- her life is in that bag, more or less. (JMO)
Our system failed us for a couple of reasons-- she failed to follow the rule about not taking them off. We failed to check to see that they were in the car. Both serious. I think she deserves punishment for breaking one of the biggest rules in her life (which she has done on a few occasions recently-- this was just the first time it had such consequences...).
So her one month punishment means that she can't go next door to play with our next-door neighbor's little boy or down the street to play with the two older children she knows. She can't grab her epipens and just go, in other words. She has to play where we can see her until she earns our trust back. (So it isn't exactly like being "grounded.") We also talked to her about the possibility for harm to a child who accidentally injects themselves into a hand. This seemed to matter a great deal to her-- one of her friends is a 3yo neighbor.
What I couldn't quite fathom is why the notion of harm to [i]her[/i] didn't seem to faze her much during this.... [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/confused.gif[/img]
Anyway-- would I treat the average 7yo this way? No way. My daughter? Absolutely. She's a fourth grader who intends to finish fifth grade by June. She is super-responsible about her allergy (and everything else, for that matter) and has a self-awareness that frequently makes [i]everyone[/i] around her forget that she is 7. (Soooo, not typical.) We don't expect her to be older than 7, but we do expect her to be [i]herself[/i] if that makes sense. (sigh) It probably doesn't without knowing her...
But I think McCobbre's point is well-taken. It is very easy to wonder how she could have been so foolish, but in the context of being 7, good judgement isn't all it appears to be at 40. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/rolleyes.gif[/img]
Just clarifying so that nobody thinks I might really be an ogre...

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