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Posted on: Thu, 04/13/2006 - 12:07am
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Anonymous (not verified)

You know jayd, I like ahensley's idea of obtaining an advocate. I'm just not clear how you do that in America and maybe someone can help you. I know that when I had what I thought were EXTREME difficulties with my son's school two years ago, a couple of members here suggested that I have an advocate go with me to meetings (and they would have helped me find one here in Canada).
If you don't want to go that route (but still, if you can, that's what I would do), I would just write down the whole list of "offenses" (they really are "offenses" IMPHO) and go through them one by one, just as you did here.
My children have their Easter celebrations to-day. I'm lucky because my son is 10 and I just said to him this morning - don't eat any home-made things; read the ingredient labels, etc. My daughter, she'll probably consume some "may contain" items - or perhaps I should say "might" - probably cupcakes and I'm okay with that (she is non-PA).
In thinking more about the teacher hunting for peanuts - is that totally assinine or what? Are they children? And actually, I've never heard of children hunting for peanuts. Why peanuts? You would think that if he was celebrating his birthday so close to Easter they might have had an Easter egg hunt for him instead. It just sounds bizarre to me. It sounds bizarre to me that a grown man would be gleeful about such a thing. I don't know.
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

Posted on: Thu, 04/13/2006 - 12:10am
Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified)

Sorry, and a FORTY YEAR OLD man at that! Man sounds like an idiot! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/mad.gif[/img]
Best wishes! [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]
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If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

Posted on: Thu, 04/13/2006 - 1:55am
Cindy2's picture
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Joined: 02/24/2006 - 09:00

I can't believe the horror you've been through this week! I agree that the advocate may be the way to go, these people don't get it so maybe an outsider can help.
Also, just a thought but our school nurse has started showing a video to all of the teachers at the beginning of the year about food allergies. I didn't see it but, she said it had an impact on them. I've been lucky that the teachers have been cooperative and the nurse is outstanding. We did have an issue with the class mothers sending in things DD can't have for class parties and the nurse had a meeting with them too, explaining the dangers and the seriousness of the situation.
It sounds like the whole school needs an education (especially the 40yr old idiot).
I wish you the best of luck with this, please keep us posted.

Posted on: Thu, 04/13/2006 - 6:12am
Rana4's picture
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Joined: 11/09/2005 - 09:00

You should be ticked off if it was me I probably would of had got carted off and I'm strongly against violence!!!!The whole situation by the school wasn't in any way handled right. As far as I'm concerned your childs teacher,the staff who participated with the peanut hunt,principle,nurse,cons-ler,your allergist,school district rep., need to have a meeting. Something definately needs to be done that is not an incident to be brushed aside. I had problems with my childs school and there are some staff that just don't get it nor will they because they haven't lived it.But they have to insure your childs safety even though they ARE ignorant!!!I had someone tell me the way to get they're attention is to mention LAWYER .I'm not the sue happy type. Best Wishes!!!! Rana4

Posted on: Thu, 04/13/2006 - 1:37pm
tcperrine's picture
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Joined: 03/01/2002 - 09:00

I know this isn't very supportive, but I'd love to know how parents can send their kid back to school after days like this! There would be NOTHING the school could do to restore my faith in their ability to keep my child FROM DYING!
Have you considered homeschooling?
Carolyn

Posted on: Wed, 04/19/2006 - 1:24am
jayD's picture
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Joined: 09/20/2000 - 09:00

Thanks again to everyone for your support.....it means a LOT to me. There are times when I get off the phone with these school people and wonder, am I over reacting? But I know I am not and it really does help having you guys at my back helping me remember I AM NOT CRAZY- this is my kids life we are talking about!!!
that said, the district director for Special education returned my call today and is setting up the meeting for me, herself, the school nurse, and the principal. She listened to my story and agreed there needs to be communication here- she offered to just talk with the others for me and I told her no, I really want to be in a room face to face with all of them so they can realize it is not something to be brushed over. I am busy today gathering information and education materials, and hope to help them make a much better plan to educate their staff in the upcoming months and next school year. The Special ed lady, after agreeing there was aproblem, was a bit surprised I was taking such a stand because , in her own words, there are other PA students that are much more sensitive than Brad that have been in this school a few years, and the parents have not been concerned about his stuff too much. These are the people who accepted the former bus plan for their kid where he is not allowed to carry his epi pen on the bus- this same kid was hosptilized with a reaction from a food he got from another kid at school a few weeks ago. Well, frankly, this kids parents are STUPID, in my educated opinion!!! If these people are willing to play russian roulette with their kids life, so be it, but I am not willing to with my son. I think the school is taking a huge risk themselves for allowing these parents to be so lax , but again, that is the schools issue. wish me luck......I will update again! keep the ideas coming!! thanks, Jen

Posted on: Wed, 04/19/2006 - 2:05am
selketine's picture
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Joined: 04/11/2004 - 09:00

I think unfortunately when you have parents of kids with certain medical issues and the these parents are not all that concerned (so it seems) or perhaps their kids have a less violent reaction to things like peanuts then the school thinks "so and so in the other class is fine with this so it should work for you too." Kind of the lowest common denominator thing.
My son isn't old enough for school yet (he is 4) but he is a type 1 diabetic and touch allergic to peanut. I have an older son in elementary school (no health issues) but from talking to the health tech I can tell that she think she can deal with my son the way she has dealt with the one other diabetic in their school (the only one she has ever had). I think this is the 1st year they've had a peanut allergic kid too.
I think it will help if part of the education you give really stresses that what works for one kid may not work for the next one. I also hope you do a 504 plan if you haven't already.
Best of luck - you do need to have them take this more seriously. I can somewhat understand why folks don't - I frankly couldn't imagine ANYONE having the type of allergic reaction I saw my son having to peanut butter. I had never seen anything like it before. I wish there was a video we could show of what an allergic reaction looks like, how bad it is, how QUICK it is, etc. Not that I'd volunteer any person to film that of themselves but it would be an excellent education tool if it exists - perhaps as an animated film.
Carol

Posted on: Wed, 04/19/2006 - 2:34am
TNAmom's picture
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Joined: 11/29/2005 - 09:00

When we met with my daughter's school to implement the 504 and to ensure that she had the right to carry her epis with her at school and on the bus (rather than them being stashed in the office), and that we had the right to accompany her on all field trips, we were told that we were the first parents of a food allergic child who had requested these measures.
I was surprised, but maybe should not have been. Everyone has his or her comfort level, and it can be difficult to find the courage to challenge the status quo. And it is true that some parents are more relaxed (and may be less educated) than others about their child's FA.
I used to be more the type to sit back, but I was always feeling tense, wondering about the "what ifs?" I finally decided that I had to make some changes, and now we are all more comfortable.

Posted on: Sun, 04/23/2006 - 9:06pm
jayD's picture
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Joined: 09/20/2000 - 09:00

we had the meeting lat Thursday.....it went OK. I got a little bit of run-around from the principal on the nut hunt issue....she says that the nuts were contained in packaging and were never open, which is not what I heard the guy saying, but hey, she can believe what she needs to I guess. the bottom line was, it was NOT necessary, period. the teachers can certainly find other ways to have fun and she agreed, it would be addressed. All 3 women were surprised to hear about the aides giving Brad nut candy , and agreed that it would be added to their training in the future....they hadn't really addressed that issue because there is supposed to be no food eaten on the buses. I told them that they were actually careful that the bags were not givin directly to Brad on the bus, the aides always came off the bus and gave the treat bags or gifts directly to me. They meant no harm, but we all agreed it shoule be talked about when training aides in the future. They also agreed to hold a second training midway through the year for ALL staff, and that notes would go out at every holiday reminding parents no nuts. One good thing, the district is going to be not allowing ANY outside food to be brought in for parties and birthdays that is homemade.....they are trying to get away from unhealthy snacks in general and want to change the focus away from food for these gatherings. I was very happy to hear that, not only for the allergy issues but I am always amazed at the junk our kids eat at school. My 8 year old packs her lunch all but 3 days a month because the food choices in the cafeteria are so unhealthy. and they have the nerve to send home BMI reports on our kids scolding us for having overweight children and they feed them pizza and french fries twice a week, between the cheese steaks, burgers, pepperoni hot pockets and fried chicken nuggets and the only snacks they can buy are icecream, gummies, and cheetos. gimme a break! anyway, THATS a whole different story! So, I left the meeting feeling like they at least heard what I had to say, I will get into it more with them next month when we rewrite his 504 plan for next year. My comfort level has been higher since he is only there for 2 1/2 hours this year, but next year it will be different...they will have him all day and he will be eating at school. Lots to think about! thanks again for all the support! jen

Posted on: Sun, 04/23/2006 - 9:50pm
notnutty's picture
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Joined: 03/15/2004 - 09:00

Jen: Here in Minnesota, all the public schools have to put a wellness plan into place by July of this year. It is amazing how well the wellness plan works with peanut allergies.
Our schools plan calls for food not to be used as rewards, it also deals with class parties and birthday parties. For example, if it is someones birthday they get to pick an activity...going outside for 15 extra minutes, playing in the gym for open play, play games in the classroom, extra computer time, etc... That really helps keep the snacks out of the classroom.
Perhaps you could use your argument that EVERYONE should be eating heathier to help deal with PA.
Good luck to you.
Donna

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