Play Dates and PA

Posted on: Thu, 12/21/2006 - 12:37pm
Love my babies's picture
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Joined: 03/18/2005 - 09:00

Before I start this post I want to say...I AM NOT DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ANYONE WITH DISABILITIES!!!!!!
Here is the issue, my pa dd goes to friends houses to have playdates all the time, the parents are very aware of her allergy and for our sake don't keep pn in the house so she can play at her friends house. We have a sort of new friend who live a couple of doors down, they do eat pn but said they would work with me on a plan for dd so that she can play at their house (ei. stay away from the kitchen, don't eat anything, ect.). Here is the issue, the parents are completely deaf and my fear is that some how my dd as a reaction and they don't realize it because they can't hear her. I can't rely on the 5 year old friend to understand the sitation and let her parents know. I am at odds as to handle this situation. How would you handle this?

Posted on: Thu, 12/21/2006 - 2:09pm
starlight's picture
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Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

I took ASL for a few years, so I learned a lot about communicating with the deaf.
What I would do, is pre-write a note or email to the parents, explaining the allergy and your concern that your daughter needs to be able to communicate she's having a reaction to them quickly and without confusion. They should not find it offensive if you personally hand them the letter and let them read it with you there (you can leave out the Dear and Sincerely if you do it this way). Writing back and forth, makeshift signs, and pointing is basically how the deaf communicate with the hearing who do not know sign. It would be a good idea to bring paper and pens with you to write back and forth, and give them the chance to ask you questions.
The important part is to ask them if they would teach you and your daughter how to sign, "I am having an allergic reaction". It's important that you ask THEM how to sign it instead of looking it up, because there are actually different "accents" in ASL and Signed English and what you look up online may not be the sign they use. Make sure you and your daughter sign it back to them so they can correct you if need be.
Give them the sheet that comes with the epi that shows how to use it, and take out the trainer and show them, like you would with a hearing person.
Chances are, once you get there, communicating with them will not be as hard as you thought it would be. It is not offensive to deaf people to point at people or to tap people on the shoulder to get their attention. Nodding yes and no are also good ways to get your point across. Lip reading is never ever 100% perfect, I think only 5-25% of what a person says can be lip read, so make sure to write down what is important so nothing is misunderstood.
Let me know if you have any questions about it, and be sure to update about your experience, I'd love to hear it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 12/22/2006 - 12:42am
pitterpat's picture
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Joined: 02/04/2006 - 09:00

As a child I had a friend with deaf parents. I think you may be surprised at how "in-tune" they are with all of their surroundings without the ability to hear. Just like our children are more alert than others their age about what food is near them. Plus, they and their child are so accustomed to communicating without sound that they don't need it.
I think you can work out something with them. Good luck!
Patty

Posted on: Fri, 12/22/2006 - 6:09am
Chicago's picture
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Joined: 04/21/2001 - 09:00

Wow! Starlight and pitterpat gave great advice!
My BIL and Uncle are deaf and from the bit I know about that community, I do agree that these parents will probably be very open to being taught about the EPI etc... They want their child to have friends!
If it makes you feel better, you might send your child with a cell phone too. Also as starlight mentioned the sign for reaction or even just "sick" would be a helpful lesson before the playdate. But I think it is a very postitive situation and hopefully it could be a great friendship.

Posted on: Thu, 12/21/2006 - 2:09pm
starlight's picture
Offline
Joined: 01/16/2004 - 09:00

I took ASL for a few years, so I learned a lot about communicating with the deaf.
What I would do, is pre-write a note or email to the parents, explaining the allergy and your concern that your daughter needs to be able to communicate she's having a reaction to them quickly and without confusion. They should not find it offensive if you personally hand them the letter and let them read it with you there (you can leave out the Dear and Sincerely if you do it this way). Writing back and forth, makeshift signs, and pointing is basically how the deaf communicate with the hearing who do not know sign. It would be a good idea to bring paper and pens with you to write back and forth, and give them the chance to ask you questions.
The important part is to ask them if they would teach you and your daughter how to sign, "I am having an allergic reaction". It's important that you ask THEM how to sign it instead of looking it up, because there are actually different "accents" in ASL and Signed English and what you look up online may not be the sign they use. Make sure you and your daughter sign it back to them so they can correct you if need be.
Give them the sheet that comes with the epi that shows how to use it, and take out the trainer and show them, like you would with a hearing person.
Chances are, once you get there, communicating with them will not be as hard as you thought it would be. It is not offensive to deaf people to point at people or to tap people on the shoulder to get their attention. Nodding yes and no are also good ways to get your point across. Lip reading is never ever 100% perfect, I think only 5-25% of what a person says can be lip read, so make sure to write down what is important so nothing is misunderstood.
Let me know if you have any questions about it, and be sure to update about your experience, I'd love to hear it. [img]http://uumor.pair.com/nutalle2/peanutallergy/smile.gif[/img]

Posted on: Fri, 12/22/2006 - 12:42am
pitterpat's picture
Offline
Joined: 02/04/2006 - 09:00

As a child I had a friend with deaf parents. I think you may be surprised at how "in-tune" they are with all of their surroundings without the ability to hear. Just like our children are more alert than others their age about what food is near them. Plus, they and their child are so accustomed to communicating without sound that they don't need it.
I think you can work out something with them. Good luck!
Patty

Posted on: Fri, 12/22/2006 - 6:09am
Chicago's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/21/2001 - 09:00

Wow! Starlight and pitterpat gave great advice!
My BIL and Uncle are deaf and from the bit I know about that community, I do agree that these parents will probably be very open to being taught about the EPI etc... They want their child to have friends!
If it makes you feel better, you might send your child with a cell phone too. Also as starlight mentioned the sign for reaction or even just "sick" would be a helpful lesson before the playdate. But I think it is a very postitive situation and hopefully it could be a great friendship.

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