Pity Party for 1

Posted on: Fri, 05/02/2008 - 9:09am
Newallergymom's picture
Joined: 03/09/2008 - 15:23

Guys, i just need to vent here, becuase I am not sure if you have ever experienced something so cold and heartless.
We are going to a party, and I asked the host some Peanut Allergy questions (what are you serving, etc...) and she answered my questions, but then included in her e-mail something along the lines of

"wow, thank god my child doesn't have any allergies, she eats a wonderfully varied diet..blah blah...she is just a joy and so easy to have as a child...."

I never wrote back to her heartless and cold comment....I just needed to share with the people who will understand.

Posted on: Fri, 05/02/2008 - 9:19am
mom2landz's picture
Joined: 04/30/2008 - 16:32

That is so AWFUL! I'm sorry that you had to experience it. I've gotten many other heartless comments over the years. "Oh, I could NEVER give up peanut butter." "But, it's good for you."
I would like to say that we should put those comments behind us and move forward, but I'm not even there yet.
IMO, if someone has to brag about what a joy their child is--especially at someone else's expense--there must be something not so joyous going on.
I'm glad you can come here and know that not everyone is so rude.

Posted on: Fri, 05/02/2008 - 10:24am
SkyMom's picture
Joined: 10/27/2001 - 09:00

Newallergymom, I am appalled that someone would send that to you. As if our children are any less a joy due to their allergies! I know it helps just to share something like that with others so vent if u need to. I would not respond as well but it sure would upset me to read nonetheless. I agree with the pp as well.

Posted on: Fri, 05/02/2008 - 10:53am
Newallergymom's picture
Joined: 03/09/2008 - 15:23

Thanks for the support...you are all so wonderful.
I never did respond and am very curious how I will react to her when i see her face to face.

Posted on: Fri, 05/02/2008 - 11:21am
Mrsdocrse's picture
Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

I probably would have told her get down on her knees and pray that her daughter stays that way! LOL

Posted on: Sat, 05/03/2008 - 8:11am
MtnDoo's picture
Joined: 04/18/2008 - 07:42

What a crummy insensitive thing to say to someone... I always hate when people brag like that about their kids anyways. It's like they are implying that *your* kids couldn't possibly be as great...

Posted on: Sat, 05/03/2008 - 11:06am
lj's picture
Joined: 01/26/2006 - 09:00

I think I would respond, even face to face. It throws people off and makes them think twice about what they said.
You can say that your child is a joy, that everyone is given their cross to bear at some point in their lives and that all of you as a family handle the allergy just fine. When people say "oh, I'm sorry" when I tell them my son has an allergy I just fire right back that there is nothing to be sorry about. While I do have my own pity parties (sometimes frequently, sometimes not) I try not to let the general public see it. I feel it's detrimental to my child. I want him to be strengthened by it, not weakened.
Good luck!

Posted on: Sun, 05/04/2008 - 2:17am
Krusty Krab's picture
Joined: 04/20/2007 - 09:00

In line with lj, [i]kill them with kindness[/i].
It will show your [i]superior[/i] couth and enlighten her on her lack thereof.
Some people.

Posted on: Sun, 05/04/2008 - 4:18am
LaurensMom's picture
Joined: 05/23/2001 - 09:00

At first I was going to say that I didn't see where the cold/heartless comment was. Then I began thinking...what if this was Down's syndrome, diabetes, cancer that we were talking about...ugh...then the comment becomes careless to the point of being gross. Point is...she doesn't get it.
LOL and when I read things like this I always think what I would do in that situation. LOL...I must be a horrible person because this is how I would have handled it.
You certainly *are* lucky. And I agree...children are such a joy and I'm so enjoying every moment with mine. And, again, true enough...this allergy can be difficult. But we're getting along and I thank you for your support. I just thank God that is something over which we have at least some control. I guess it it true. God only gives us as much as we can handle.
LOL...it is likely she wouldn't even understand that she's been insulted.

Posted on: Sun, 05/04/2008 - 4:42am
Newallergymom's picture
Joined: 03/09/2008 - 15:23

to All-
thanks again for all the wonderful responses and comments. I truly appreciate the support and understanding.

Posted on: Mon, 05/05/2008 - 12:29am
30Allerg's picture
Joined: 05/05/2008 - 07:11

At least she didn't try to sell you a holistic cure!
I'm sorry she was insensitive, but if this was in an email sometimes people don't think things through and send things inadvertently - if you don't know her that well, give her a second chance...
And hopefully the party will be a success for all.


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