Petrified mom here. . .

Posted on: Fri, 07/18/2008 - 4:11pm
nellie's picture
Joined: 07/18/2008 - 22:55

I just found out last week about my 2 1/2yr old's peanut allergy. I gave him a peanut butter cookie. I stupidly thought that the worst possible reaction could have been hives because that's the worst reaction anyone has had in my family. I feel such guilt over how my Little One suffered.
My home is now nut free, and I have an Epi-pen. But now I'm afraid to leave the house with him. I obsess over things that he has always eatten, and get stomach aches over the though that this horrible reaction will happen again one day... how do you cope with this? How have you gotten over the fear of stepping out of the house into the open? I couldn't even bring myself to take him to church last Sunday- and I seriously doubt that I'll take him this Sunday either. Please help... I feel like I'm going crazy here!

Posted on: Fri, 07/18/2008 - 11:55pm
Mrsdocrse's picture
Joined: 01/16/2007 - 09:00

HI There.... Sorry for the diagnosis.
I know how scared you are! If felt the same way. My DS is 7 and i gave him some PB when he was 2. Don't beat your self over it. you didn't KNOW!
You WILL get past the fear. It will take some time maybe. But keep in mind that he has lived his young life ( 2 1/2 ) years going about his business and DID NOT have a reaction. The only thing that has chnaged is that now you know.
You have probably been to church with him 100 times.. no reation.. right.... so no reason why he can't go now.
Your comfort zone with adjust. It really is over whelming... especially when they are little.
The best advice I can give you is prepare a little nmore before you go any where. Start teaching him NOW not to take food from anyone but you. Tell people about his allergy so they will resist the urge to give him food. get inthe habit of washing hands before and after you eat and when you come in from being outside.
I can tell you since we found out ( 5 years ago) we have successfully gone to pre- school, and public school, with the help of the nurse and the school itself. we have traveled to different places, taken planes, trains, cruises. Everything . we just have to prepare a bit a head of time and be flexible about plans thay may have to chg last minute.
It gets better!
I promise!

Posted on: Sat, 07/19/2008 - 6:29pm
nellie's picture
Joined: 07/18/2008 - 22:55

Thank you Mrsdocrse. I am so glad that I have found this site. It's good to know that I am not the only one out there who lives with this, and that I can talk to other parents who understand. I know that it will take time to get used to this allergy- I guess I'm still in shock. I'm sure that God will forgive me if I keep my "Little One" to myself for a bit longer, just until I can get a handle of it all:)

Posted on: Mon, 07/21/2008 - 12:46am
hollya's picture
Joined: 05/10/2007 - 09:00

Hello, I am totally the same way. My son is almost 3 and we found out about his allergy at 13 months. It was very scary at first as you know nothing about it. I finally started to get comfortable again until he had another reaction just this last May and we ended up in the ER. Now I am back to square one and think about it all the time. I worry worry worry and I know that can't be healthy. I try to be thankful for every day. You will get through this. This website is great!!!!

Posted on: Mon, 07/21/2008 - 1:44am
MommyOfTwo's picture
Joined: 11/08/2007 - 09:44

I think everything you are going through is a normal array of emotions. It can be so difficult at first and scary.
The best thing I started doing to help me in our journey was to read as much as possible and educate myself and my family as much as possible. That and time helped me find our groove and what makes us feel comfortable and we now have a whole process we do when we want to eat out and after having gone to the playground numerous times with no reactions and going shopping, makes me feel a bit more at ease. Not that I'm not always prepared should something happen, I'm just not having a panic attack every time I step out the door.
I know it is a lot right now, but it will start to get easier.

Posted on: Mon, 07/21/2008 - 5:28am
robyn's picture
Joined: 07/15/2008 - 02:54

I think nearly all of us out there have gone through your emotions. That's why we all enjoy this forum so much. I have also felt tremendous guilt over my son's PA. The thing that has helped me the most is to get as educated as possible. I'm always reading up on things. Some people may think I'm obsessed but I just love my son too much not be informed. Also give yourself some time. Once you find your comfort level, you will feel like going out again. One thing my allergist warned me about was to try as hard as possible to give my son a normal life (still reading every label) otherwise he will rebel when he gets older. So each day I try to balance the two.
My husband is a pastor and I work very hard with our nursery to make it peanut free. Still, last week I caught them giving him pretzels processed in a facility with PB. No one fully understands how serious this is and how vigilant a parent needs to be. As a result, I am now reading every ingredient before he receives his snack. I also tell him I read it just so he knows he can't eat anything, even at church, without mom reading over it.
It does get easier, I promise!!

Posted on: Tue, 07/22/2008 - 6:00am
nellie's picture
Joined: 07/18/2008 - 22:55

Thank you everyone. I love this site, and have read just about every post and information on it. I've already been acused of being obsessed, but this is my son, and it is my sole duty to protect him. I just wish that others would understand that PA is more than "just an allergy". Thank you again everyone!

Posted on: Tue, 07/22/2008 - 11:27am
Julia's picture
Joined: 07/22/2008 - 18:01

Hello. I had a question for you regarding public school. My daughter just finished kindergarden and she went in the afternoon after lunch. All the children had to wash there hands before entering the classroom. I carry an epipen and benedril as well as her asthma medication on hand and at the school. We made it ok this last year but I just entered her into home shcool because next year the threat is so great for her to come in contact unless the school were to make it peanut free but they will not. How is the school handling things for your child?

Posted on: Tue, 07/22/2008 - 11:32am
Julia's picture
Joined: 07/22/2008 - 18:01

Hi Nellie. I can so relate to what you are going through. My daughter is six and her first reaction was when she was 2. we have had several ER visits including her going into anaflactic shock and she also has asthma. My biggest challenge has been getting the point across to friends, teachers, the gym and so forth the seriousness of her life threatning allergy. It does get easier but the best suggestion I can say is be VERY proactive. Tell everyone around you wherever you go. I told my gym several years ago and they made it peanut free for my daughter. People will get the point if you make it. Dont feel bad about it. You will find various reations from others from those that don't get it and those that will try to be very supportive.

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