peanuts at a party, what do you do?

Posted on: Sun, 11/14/1999 - 1:20am
rscollo2's picture
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Joined: 11/11/1999 - 09:00

question for pa mothers, My son is 2 yrs old
when you go to a party and there are nuts on the table do you ask the hostess to remove them or hope for the best? At family gatherings I dont have a problem voicing my request, but I feel uncomfortable at non famlily functions . What do you do?

Posted on: Sun, 11/14/1999 - 8:27am
Christine's picture
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Joined: 02/03/1999 - 09:00

When we were first dealing with the allergy, I went to a neighbor's house and they had peanuts on the table. Back then (3 years ago) I was much less forceful about the allergy. My son was very young at the time of that party and I just kept my eye on him and we didn't stay long. Now, before I even show up at a house (friend or family) I ask them not serve any open containers of nuts while we are there. I never ask people to serve nut-free food (I bring my own for my son); however, I do draw the line on having them sit out on tables--especially if there are lots of kids at the party. I've never had anyone give me a problem on this and if they really want me and my son there they will put them away.
Christine

Posted on: Sun, 11/14/1999 - 9:19am
EILEEN's picture
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Joined: 04/06/1999 - 09:00

We do the same as Christine, if people aren't agreeable then we don't go.

Posted on: Tue, 11/16/1999 - 10:05am
Joanne's picture
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Joined: 02/22/1999 - 09:00

When my PA son was 2 years old we were at several parties where peanuts were on the table and in each case I said to the different hosts "We need to put these peanuts away because of my son's life-threatening peanut allergy". The people immediately put the peanuts away. With a small child you have to worry about them grabbing a handful of peanuts if the peanuts are sitting on a coffee table--and that's not even worrying about peanut residue on everyone's hands. My feeling about asking the people to move the peanuts was that if they wouldn't move them, we would just leave.

Posted on: Wed, 11/17/1999 - 1:28am
rscollo2's picture
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Joined: 11/11/1999 - 09:00

Thank you all for your replies, Moving the actuall bowl of peanuts is easy enough, but what about if there is peanuts in the baked goods? I still get nervous about the residue, should I just watch it or ask that to be taken away also? Living with this allergy really puts a strain on me whenever I need to go to public functions.

Posted on: Wed, 11/17/1999 - 2:48am
Lu Randall's picture
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Joined: 10/14/1999 - 09:00

Whenever we go to parties, we carry my son's safe food with us (or he brings it in his fanny pack.) We try to make a big deal about him choosing his own cupcakes or whatever for birthday parties, and oreos or fritoes, etc., for other events.
His last reaction was at a party. He was eating jelly filled Italian cookies shaped like leaves (jelly sandwiched in between.) Suddenly and inexplicably he got one that had pb AND jelly, with the pb hidden inside. Please! I had eaten those cookies all my life from this bakery, and they picked then to get creative. He ended being OK after medication and watching the swelling in his lip, tongue, and eyes go down. That was 3 years ago, and now I know we should have headed to the ER.
Anyway, BYOBG (bring your own baked goods.) Then nobody worries.

Posted on: Wed, 11/17/1999 - 4:16am
Christine's picture
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Joined: 02/03/1999 - 09:00

I don't worry too much when I am at a function or party and they are serving baked goods with peanuts in them (peanut butter cookies and the like). My main concern is loose peanuts. Just the very nature of roasted peanuts is a concern. They are small, people pick up handfuls of them usually dropping one or two on the floor, they are oily leaving oily deposits on people's hands, and often times there are skins on or around the peanuts that also get everywhere and can become airborne. As far as the peanuts being in the baked goods, usually they are more crushed up, firmly contained within the product, and are in a smaller quantity then plain old nuts in a jar. So, I don't require a party host to ban all peanut products if I am coming, especially if I don't know them very well. Most of my good friends will do so voluntarily. I will still take my son to a place that might be serving peanut butter cookies or peanuts that are in other products but I always have a suitable snack with me for him. While the danger does still exist, I feel it is much smaller than with having nuts out in the open.
Christine

Posted on: Wed, 11/17/1999 - 10:40pm
Donnamarie's picture
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Joined: 11/16/1999 - 09:00

At 5 years old, my son is now very aware (and very embarrassed) about his food allergy. Whenever we are invited to a party, I always call the hostess beforehand, and very politely say something like, "I hope it's okay if my son brings his own food, since he can't be near nuts and peanuts". The hostess almost always offers to make special foods for him (which I never accept--since it's a lot of work)--but this way they aren't insulted when I bring special foods, and they usually don't put nuts or peanuts anywhere nearby (even though I don't ask). Now, we've become so close to all our friends, that the subject doesn't even come up--and when peanuts are out, usually one of my friends says something before I get the chance!!! But if we do see nuts, we very politely move, or move the nuts.

Posted on: Thu, 11/18/1999 - 12:17am
Liz's picture
Liz
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Joined: 01/17/1999 - 09:00

The problem that I usually end up having is at finger food parties.
Someone, even if the hosts are aware enough, brings a bag of those blasted kettle cooked in peanut oil chips, and about 1/2 an hour later, everything is contaminated.
I most often eat before I go, nibble for about the first 20 minutes and then abstain from food for the rest of the evening, unless I have access to food that I know noone else has handled.
All of my friends understand this, and some of them get amazingly militant about policing their other guests, but just to be safe...
To this point, I haven't had a reaction while partying out. fingers crossed, party season is just starting.
Liz
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Posted on: Fri, 11/19/1999 - 8:35am
MaryLynn's picture
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Joined: 06/25/1999 - 09:00

What aare people doing putting peanuts within reaach of children under 3 to begin with? Even without a PA peanuts pose a serious choking risk to young children.

Posted on: Mon, 11/22/1999 - 5:13pm
Virginia's picture
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Joined: 11/23/1999 - 09:00

Though I'm not a mother (I'm 15 and have severe peanut allergies), I would like to mention that as your kids get older, it's incredibly important that you make sure they know and understand the dangers that they face. Although you can be at a party and ask the hostess to please be careful and not to serve things with peanuts, your child also has to be aware of his/her allergy. It helps not only you, as a parent, but the child, as the child can learn to be more independent and aware of his or her surroundings. good luck!
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Virginia

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